I think i am developing schizophrenia! Hopelessly need help!

[GreyGirl]

Hello,i am writting here and i am so confuised and scared.
I am diagnosed with anxiety,panic disorder and ocd.
I feel as i am dreaming all the time,and i have depersonalization and derealization. I feel my mind is blocked and i can't think clearly.
As i can think clear with one part of my brain and with other i can't.
I was trying to fall asleep today,but i couldn't. While i was trying i felt into little dream,and my mind said me as...don't get ill,u will get baby.
I get out from bed so frightnen,i didn't know what to do. I am 18 year old virgin and why i had this random thought as i am pregnant? I know this is not normal thought. So i analize my thoughts and i realized there is something that is not ok with my brain.
Then i remembered that my aunt has schizophrenia and she was thinking that she had baby that she hasn't and similar bizzare thoughts.
Now i know schizophrenia is genetic so i am so afraid. What if i don't think normal? what if i am already mentally ill? what if my life is destroyed?
Why i had that random thought? So wierd. Don't get me wrong i know it's not real,but why my brain say this to me? Is this early sign of schizophrenia? PLS LET ME KNOW! I don't wanna live like this anymore:(

[GreyGirl]

PLS SOMEONE TO HELP>I don't know what to do ...i wanna kill myself:(

[Maj]

Hi,
Many people suffering from anxiety go through a phase of being afraid of being schizophrenic - they see it as a natural progression of the state they are in - but if you were actually schizophrenic then you wouldn't be wondering if you were, or scared if you were, you'd be oblivious to the fact that you actually WERE! The fact that your aunt had the baby thoughts are what brought this thought to your mind and made you scared. An anxious mind is good at playing tricks and conjuring up all sorts of thoughts and feelings when you least expect them. Random thoughts are completely harmless and don't mean a thing unless you let them. Please don't worry. You sound like a completely normal, anxious person and nothing more! :hugs:

[GreyGirl]

Thank u very much for the answer! Thank u!

[calm]

greygirl..hello my love...i am in such a state like yourself.....and i worry so much that i might be developing this condition.

i have read maj's response.....and hopefully that has brought you some comfort it has me...thank you maj....greatly appreciated xxxxx

lets stay strong together....these thoughts as we have been told are just thoughts xxxxxxxxx we need to remember this when they happen...i know, i know, it is just so exhausting....but we will beat this....WE WILL xxxxxxx

[Nigel]

Hi GreyGirl,

Try not to worry about it because you sound perfectly normal to me :winks:

It’s a fact that we all have thousands of random thoughts flitting through our minds each day, and most are so crazy that we simply forget we even had them. But when a person suffers from anxiety they hate uncertainty and therefore attempt to find some sort of meaning in all those random thoughts that other people just disregard.

“I was trying to fall asleep today, but i couldn't. While i was trying i felt into little dream, and my mind said me...”

And that’s another thing to remember. Dreams don’t make sense, and this was probably as much a dream as a conscious thought.

Take care,
Nigel

[GreyGirl]

yes,but i am afraid of my bizzare thoughts of my mind. I read that schizophrenia develops around late puberty,and i imitate it on some way. But why to have bizzare thoughts as baby or something that i know aren;t real?
However i am trying to get calm:)

[Nigel]

But when a person really develops schizophrenia, they’re unaware that they’re having ‘bizarre thoughts’. To them they appear to be perfectly normal and rational thoughts. So being able to recognise them as ‘bizarre’ is pretty good proof that you’re OK and thinking rationally about things.

That ‘baby’ thought probably stuck because it made an association with what happened to your aunt. The mind loves to link things, and it’s how it tries to make sense of things. Comparing something that’s happening now with something stored in memory. Sometimes it’s a faulty pattern match though.

Take care,
Nigel

[GreyGirl]

Thank u...thank u...i feel better...
Wish u all the best!
God bless you because of your post:)
Thanks again!

[Nigel]

Wish you all the best too :)
Nigel