How did your anxiety start??

[Lou 1]

How did everyones anxiety start - have you always been anxious - what causes your anxiety - are there certain things that you worry about all the time??

Mine started a year ago after my best friend died, seeing her in hospital on life support upset and scared me so much!
Since then i've become so anxious, i remember the nurses saying her pupils had become very large (she fell down some stairs and it caused a bleed on her brain) so now i always check my pupils, and become scared if they get to big..
I remember the nurses saying that her Blood Pressure was very low and she didnt have long left, so now i constantly want to check my blood pressure and my heart rate!
I worry about every new symptom or sensation i have!!
I know all of this is very silly and i am having CBT to help me overcome this.

What about everyone else?

[calm]

LOU.......no no no no no this is not silly at all!!!!!!!!!!!!.....and i do hope the cbt helps you overcome this xxxxxx

for me lou...my high anxiety started when my i was told that my daughter has to have tests for her kidneys....since then my mind has gone into overdrive!!!!!!!!! and i cannot seem to get it back xxxxx but we will xxxxxx

i have cbt tomorrow...to see if they can take me on...i went last week for an assessment.....fingers crossed.

let me know how you do lou xxxx and once again you are definately not silly xxxxxx

[stressbunny]

It is funny isn't it, there often seems to be a trigger for HA...and when you hear stories like that about your friend/daughter, I just think, omg no wonder you worry...it seems very reasonable after what you both went through.

Mine was odd. I had a dreadful time over a few months...lots of little things but also a few biggies, mainly hubby being made redundant, friend dying during a routine operation, dog dying, kids not getting into the school we wanted etc etc...the usual cr*p that life throws at you..and I was fine. But I had a bad shoulder, had an x ray, receptionist told me it was arthritis and I went off the rails...panic attacks, couldnt work, could sleep, couldnt stop crying...and have imagined the following:-

Rhematoid Arthritis
MND
MS
Cancer
Heart probs
Liver probs

etc etc

I had CBT and it helped massively, but I exhibit sooo many physical problems..at the moment jerking and twitching...so currently worrying about Parkinsons. That said, I work, I look after 4 kids, 1 hubby 1 dog etc etc and have fun with friends, so thoroughly recommend CBT.

We will get there!! Good luck to you all xxxxxxxxxx

[Lou 1]

Thank you both for your replies - good luck to you both xx

[sammi]

I've always been anxious since my dad died of heart problems when I was four not to the extent of having panic attacks I was more a very nervy child, still am. I had a stressful couple of years starting three year ago my daughter was born premature at 25 weeks this was anxious time then early last year my brother took an overdose and nearly died. Then in nov last year I started suffering from health anxiety and panic attacks. But I think I've always been a nervous/anxious person and these things tipped me over the edge maybe.xx

[Lauz]

Mine started basically a year ago this month. During the year leading up my fiances mother passed away suddenly, my uncle suddenly and a long time friend at work suddenly. It was all so much so quick. Spent so much time supporting my friends and family I didn't give myself time to take it all in and to be honest had never really been around death so much ever.
Work was crazy busy, I bought a house with my now fiance and moved out. All of the above were just massive life changes for me and big stresses. Then basically when things settled down towards the end of the year my body just gave up and started having full blown panic attacks, not that I knew that was happening to me I just kept thinking back to my finaces mum and my uncle and their sudden death thinking it was happening to me. That is the short of it.

Terrible time but a year on and I feel 99% back to where I was before this all happened :) It was a struggle and it too so much time and effort and all the love and support of my friends and family helped me get to where I am today.

I am getting a bit edgy though leading up to the end of this year and that is because I don't want to go through or feel the same way I did again, I had the most awful xmas etc and just really want to enjoy it all this year.

[Mondie]

I think I was born anxious! I clearly remember being about 4 years old and our cat being run over, the realisation that people/things that I love will die was a huge shock, I cried at my Dad for hours telling him I didn't want him to die.

My HA actually started when my Gran died and I use to take myself off to hospital with pains in my chest quite often; only when a doctor asked me how I was did I realise that I was stressed/anxious.

I managed to keep my HA in check, until my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2005, coupled with breaking up from my long term boyfriend, i went into free fall.

I have had CBT and it didn't really work for me and I struggle most days with the irrational thoughts I have. People call me a hypochrondriac, but I have to explain that I HAVE physical symptoms, I just can't think rationally about what is causing them.

If I could I would cure us all of this evil affliction...it sucks!

[Lou 1]

It awful isnt it, i hope we can all one day overcome this torment xx

[Vixxy]

Mine started after I had my nipples pierced. I ended up in hospital with internal bleeding. My breasts were literally turning black. It scared the crap out of me. More so because I could see the blood creeping along my skin. So i felt like I had no control of my own body.
The after effects made my anxiety start. I was scared to go out in case they started bleeding again, scared to have anyone touch me in case they knocked me.
It was a horrid time. I recently found my diary of that time and I can see all the things I know now not to do.
I can only hope that Im learning enough to get rid of it and keep it at bay forever!!


On a positive note! I believe that I would have had a much poorer life if I didnt have anxiety problems. At the time I was drinking a lot, every day. Wanted a tattoo and more piercings. I didnt go to uni because I wanted to spend more time drinking and going clubbing. I had no life goals.
Im glad I got anxiety so that I didnt make all those mistakes!! In fact if I didnt have anxiety I wouldnt have started playing an online game to alleviate my boredom at being housebound, so I would never have met my hubby!

[BubbleBonce]

I wasn't at all right after I gave birth to my second son. I recovered fairly well but never 100% then had a late miscarriage - basically the baby died inside me and I had to give birth to him. It was awful and I was mentally climbing the walls. I've never been 100% ever and that was 15 years ago. I've given up hope now.

Vixxy which online game do you play?

[Mudskipper]

Guess I've always been anxious, partly due to over-protective parents. Health anxiety kicked in about 20 years ago after a testicular cancer scare and never really went away but, since my kids were born its' kind of morphed into full-on general anxiety and just lately it's become downright ridiculous and controls my life completely. I'm having CBT right now but I'm not convinced it's doing much good. It's become a case of just grin and bear it, not fun...

[Ella_Jayne]

I've always been anxious but never noticed it too much, always thought that everyone worried about a lot just ekpt it to themselves.

My HA and panic attack started after a particulary bad couple of years. Things just weren't working out for me in every part of my life and for some reason I started focusing on my health...

I kept worrying about things like if I had a late period I would think I had some illness but not to the point where I would go to the docs, just that those kind of thoughts started to cross my mind when they never did before.

Then I read about this footballer dying of a heart attack at 23 years of age and thought ''How?, oh knowing my luck I'll be next'' which led me to get info on Sudden Death Syndrome, the next thing I knew I was having trouble sleeping and one day I woke up and remember thinking 'Oh I'm okay, still alive, my hearts not given up yet' and then I had a few ectopic heartbeats right after I thought that which scared the hell outta me and I flew into a massive panic attack, thought I was dying, was in the hospital all day and they found nothing wrong with me.

1 year on, many many tests, panic attacks and 2 batches of CBT later, I'm still here and feel a lot better. Still have HA, the out of the blue panic seems to have gone but anx symptoms are still present at times, but I can see that things WILL get better, not just for me... but for all of us, we just need to keep positive and believe. :)

[papillon]

my anxiety started after my son's godmother died. she commited suicide and i had my first ever panic attack on the day of her funeral. since then my anxiety has increased to disorder level. I was prescribed beta-blockers last week and took my 1st on sunday. i hate this anxiety, it's ruining my life. i've signed up for cbt today so hoping that will help - booked a hypnotherapy session too today - willing to try anything nowadays.
best wishes to all and peace

[HazG]

My mum passed away in jan this year i had to watch her slip away i held her hand untill the end,thought i was doing ok then after the funeral bang all of my symptoms started.

I really wish i was back to normal its taking of my life...

[blueangel]

My anxiety goes back a long, long time. I was exposed to illness and death a lot as a child; by the age of 10, both my grandfathers had died, my dad had been diagnosed with MS and subsequently died, and my grandmother (who we lived with) had a stroke. I can't ever remember not being aware of my own mortality.

Because at the time, medical opinion thought that MS was hereditary, every time I fell over I was dragged off to the doctor, and in general my family were over-protective and bought me up to be far too cautious. So not only has this made me residually anxious, I've struggled with taking risks in my life, which has affected things like travel and career choices.

I think I'm residually anxious anyway - my father had severe HA (so at the time was labelled a hypochondriac) and when he initially developed MS, he was told it was all in the mind. It wasn't; he had the severe form of relapsing-remitting MS and he only lived with it for 5 years, and so by the time I was 7, he was dead.

I ended up on amitryptiline after he died (I know this as I asked my current GP about it years ago, as I remember being given tablets). God alone knows what giving a drug like that does to a 7-year old's brain, so I have no idea whether it's made me better or worse, or indeed has made no difference at all.

Since then, I have suffered with bouts of difference sorts of anxiety. I have GAD, as sometimes the anxiety doesn't relate to anything specific, or is caused by outside stressors, such as work/relationships. I have HA, but to be honest that's reasonably well-controlled these days, as there are only a few things that bug me, and I've learnt not to take much notice of minor symptoms. I also have a form of social anxiety that seems to relate to me being with people who I think are socially superior to myself.

My anxiety seems to have got a lot worse over the last couple of years, and I know that this is down to a couple of things. My sense of mortality was greatly heightened by hitting 50; no matter what, when you get to this age you have to realise that you're not going to be around for ever. I've also had huge life changes; I left my home city to be with a new partner, and have literally had to give up almost everything to be with him (home, job, living environment). This has proved to be really tough, as thrown in with that I have to deal with his mad soon-to-be-ex-wife and two children. I never had my own children, through choice, and I have really struggled with this.

I suppose what I'm trying to say for the younger users on here is deal with your anxiety NOW. I've had this for nearly all of my life and it upsets me so much to see so many young people in the same state. Don't sentence yourself to a life of it like I have.

Oops, this is a bit long. Sorry. Maybe I ought to just write a book instead.... :)

[Anth]

Mine came about during treatment fro depression.
I was at a wedding, in a crowded room and the room started to spin.
I ran out and was physically sick outside.

Dr took me off Prozac and started me on Citalopram.
After two years, I came off it and was fine for two years, Christmas 2008 I had a pain in my left hip and groin, convinced myself it was testicular cancer as one was slightly painfull (I checked it that much I think I caused some damage) Went to the docs and went staright back on citalopram.

Started to come off it in July, but last weekend chest pain on left side made me sure I had lung cancer....I know its a pulled muscle as it eased after one day and now it only aches when I sit on one position too long. Stretching relieves it too.

I'm in a state with myself as I got so panicked.....Waiting to see the doc on Friday to go back on the meds (I had some left over which I have started to take again)


What makes it all worse is I used to be so laid back and never had a car in the world, until about 2005/2006 and then things got really weird.
I've resigned myself to the fact I am mentally ill, its quirky. I just wish I could stop scaring the bejesus out of myself.

[CryMeARiver]

Mines started when i first choked, i refused to eat anything because I was scared, when i did eat solid things i feltr like i was choking, so i only ate liquids, anysolid thing i ate i liquidied it in my mouth,i was 8 at the time, it stopped when i was 12, and im 13 now,, i was barley 80 pounds and i almost died. Ever since I cant stop worry ing about my health. I hate it.

[Going home]

For me it was after my grandmother died of a coronary thrombosis at only 59, then a year later my granfather died of cancer at 62. When my beloved uncle had a coronary thrombosis at only 46 which killed him I freaked out completely and then my brother had the same heart attack at the same age, 46, but he survived thankfully, only to be diagnosed with a neurological condition a few years later and is now in a wheelchair.

Every time my heart misses a beat I think its coming for me too. Its not as bad as it once was, and NMP has done alot to relieve my fear of it, but it still has the ability to floor me sometimes.

Anna xx

[daybyday]

I know it is difficult not to internalize others illnesses onto ourselves. That seems to be a part of health anxiety.
Goodness, all the ads every talk about is what we might, could, probably have wrong with us.