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kate
03-03-04, 12:10
I had Monday and Tuesday off work.

On Monday, I had the headache from hell, Tuesday it had gone but just decided to have another day off!

Today, I have got to go back to work. If I don't go today, I will never go back.:(

I only work 3 hours a day. I am only a flipping Dinner Lady. So why is my anxiety so high?

There is nothing to worry me at work, I get along with everyone and the kids there are great.

So why the anxiety? I have visited the toilet 3 times already this morning. [:0]

I know that if I have any more time off, then I will not bother going back at all.

I can't allow myself to do that cos what would I do then all day?

I would sit on the settee watching This Morning, I would eat continually and smoke for England.

So, I know I can't stay home. But why do I get anxious??

Any ideas anyone? :D

Cheers

Kate x

Lottie32
03-03-04, 12:42
Kate

If I knew the answer to that then a. I would have a fulfilling and exciting life and b. I would be very rich to allow me to enjoy my fulfilling and exciting life!

Poor you. I'm really lucky - about the only place I don't feel anxious is at work. Lord alone knows what I would do if I got made redundant or had to leave!

However, any change in my routine usually gets me like this. It's horrible.

Did you have a headache on Monday, because you were anxious, or we you just physically ill?

I can sympathise. When I had my horrid stomach upset the other week I had Mon, Tue and Wed off. I was genuinely ill, and couldn't go to work. I didn't feel too great on Thursday, but knew if I didn't push myself, then I too would never get back to work.

With me, it was leaving the "safety" of my house, and facing the "nasty" world out there.

It is very easy to feel better if you have no responsibilities, and don't have to do anything. I cope so well when this is the case. I'm also very good in emergency situations, when I don't have time to thing - I just have to act. I find that I panic the most when facing "normality"!

It could be that you just felt safe in your little house, on your comfy sofa, with Fern and Phil, some chocolate digestives and 20 Embassy No 1.

When I have been off sick, then tempted to skive the next few days, just cos it's easier, I've found watching Supermarket Sweep, or Pets Win Prizes is very good for driving you out of the house. If needs be, obtain copies of these shops on video, and play them repeticiously next time you feel the need to cocoon yourself in the house! It works for me.

Seriously though, try not to worry too much. I suffer with my tum too, and this can make things ten times worse, cos you've then got the added worry of maybe having to go to the loo at an inconvenient time, accompanied with feeling poorly.

However, I usually find that after a day or two back into my routine I'm fine again.

Try not to worry too much Kate, just count down your three hours - it's not that long really, you will do this, and your anxiety will subside.

Love

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

kate
03-03-04, 16:28
Hiya Charlie,

I actually got the headache on the Sunday afternoon.

We have got our house on the market and we had 3 viewings booked for Sunday afternoon.

My daughter wanted to spend some of her birthday money. So, on the Sunday morning, we went off to Asda, me constantly watching the clock cos I had to get back to tidy round etc before the viewings.

And, then, none of the 3 viewers turned up! Not even 1!!

Well, I think this was what started the headache and it just carried on the rest of Sunday.

I went to bed early, had nightmares for most of the night, then woke up still with the headache on the Monday!

As I said, I don't know why I get anxious before I go to work.

I got there today and everyone was asking if I was ok and being really nice.

Once there, the anxiety subsides most days.

Think I may just have got into the habit of feeling anxious before going to work.

Oh and I'll be getting the cheesey video's out next time I feel like skiving the extra days off!!!

Kate x

nomorepanic
03-03-04, 22:15
Kate

Hiya! don't feel bad about skivving off for a day - no harm in that lol. As I have said to you before you are doing great to even get up and go out to work so please try to stick with it, yeah?

It doesn't matter how many hours you work or what the job is - the important thing is that you are getting up and doing it - so well done you [:p]:)

You say that you get anxious when you have to go to work - well that is the same as me and driving isn't it. Different situation but the same feelings and the same memories. It will pass with time. I don't now get in the car and think "am I going to panic", I just get in and drive and you can achieve that too.

It is nice that they care about you at work - I just get sarcastic comments all the time and snide remarks. It even got mentioned in my appraisal how much time I had had off sick (13 days since July 2003). Some of that wasn't panic related, e.g. when I cracked the rib but they only seem to remember the ones when I had a stomach upset, was too tired cos I never slept etc.

They never ask me if I am ok when I go back in!

I really need some time off but we are so short staffed now that I can't. Throwing a sick day would be really frowned upon!

Anyway mate - enough about me and sickness etc. You keep doing it ok and remember that it is your brain tricking you into thinking it is anxious cos you are going to work - when you are probably fine.

Stick with it ok?


Nicola

kate
04-03-04, 09:28
Hiya Nic,

Thanks for the words of encouragement!

I hadn't thought that it could be the mind playing tricks thing!!

I reckon you are spot on! My mind is automatically thinking it is anxious about going to work when in fact it is just more like a "bad habit".

Yes, the people at work are very understanding. The larger than life cook gave me a big hug and asked me if I was ok. She is lovely.

And everyone else asked me the same. They are all really nice.

Thanks again, mate!

Kate x

Lottie32
04-03-04, 10:06
Kate

I think anybody would have developed a headache after the Sunday you had!

I get anticipatory anxiety over lots of things - and usually once I'm there an doing, I'm fine. Although the fact that I was anxious first, usually puts an edge on things.

It's what I'm working on now, trying to over come it!

I have started helping my friend out behind the bar at his pub/restaruant. I did 10 years of bar work to earn extra money, I'm very good at it, and can do it standing on my head. It's just down the road. I love the people who run it - they are friends too. I only do 4 - 5 hours on a Sunday. It's really blister making busy, and I really get a buzz off it. However, I felt ill the first time he asked me to do it - so I forced myself to go. Every since I've felt a bit anxious, although it is gradually reducing in levels. The worse part is because I suffer with my tummy, and then worry that I will end up spending most of my shift in the loo. This has never happened to me yet - but for some reason, it's one of my biggest fears!

Anticipatory panic is horrible. And once you've got it, you then start to anticipate that I will get anticipatory anxiety. And guess what - I usually do get it!

I find I'm worse though if I stop doing things that bother me. If you are like me, then I suggest that you "force" yourself to go to work as often as possible. Some people benefit from having time off, some people benefit from keeping going, you know which sort of person you are.

I hope you're feeling a bit calmer today Kate, and your headache has gone! Supermarkets make me feel ill at the best of times, without taking kids. And being under a time restriction to get back and tidy the house! Sounds like a nightmare.

Take Care

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

kate
04-03-04, 11:38
Hiya Charlie,

Yes, thanks, I am feeling a lot better today! Totally headache free!

I decided to go to the supermarket to get a new stainless steel dish drainer ( I know, not very thrilling, but might help sell the house LOL ).

Anyway, I was standing at the checkout waiting to pay, when the man behind me decided to strike up a conversation!

"I'm 'ere gettin' the shoppin'. Wife fell off 'er 'orse yesterday, broke both her legs"

He then proceeded to tell me his whole life story regarding horses! Think you may have been a little more interested than me, Charlie!!!

Well, it transpires that him and his wife have a horse each "we've both got good jobs you know"!!!!

His apparently bucks a lot (well, I think he said BUCKS) and he is dead good at controlling it!!!

Anyway, I finally paid and escaped the horsey talk. But, Charlie, I was thinking about you all the time during the conversation, and knew that you would have enjoyed it much more than me!!

Kate x

Lottie32
04-03-04, 11:45
Kate

The secret of sitting a good BUCK is to lean back, point your toes forwards and brace yourself!!!!

Breaking both your legs is just careless.

You are right though - much more suited to me than you! I can talk horses for hours - but only to interested parties.

If you come to Megs meeting in May, I promise I won't mention horses at all (apart from to Bryan who also has an interest).

Hope the steel drainer does the trick! I get mad purchase impulses. Last month I convinced myself that if I bought an epilator, my life would consequently improve. I did, and it hasn't (what do you mean you aren't surprised!)

So glad you are feeling much better. Hope the house sale goes well - it can be soooo stressful.

Take care of yourself

Love

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

kate
04-03-04, 12:02
Charlie,

I did used to go riding, in my teens. It was my sis who was really into it and I just used to tag along to keep her company!

It really put me off when she fell off whilst jumping, and broke her nose.

In another incident, she was patting a horse and it bit her finger nearly through to the bone, and wouldn't let go!

My mom says that she used to spend most Friday evenings sitting in the A&E dept of Good Hope Hospital due to my sister's accident prone nature!

The house has only been on the market for 1 month and a day (not that I'm counting).

We have now changed agents. The last one sent round a viewer on a Saturday morning. I had just got out the shower, the kitchen floor was covered in washing and daughter was having a lie in. The rabbit had just wee'd all over the conservatory floor.

My son answered the door, just wearing his boxer shorts. Two lady's standing there, been sent to view!!

I couldn't let them in, the house was a tip.

I got rid of them, apologising profusely. Rang the agents. They insisted that they had informed us that the viewers were coming round.They definately hadn't!!!

So, all in all, one disaster following another!!!!

Never mind, lets just see what today brings!!

Kate x

Laurie28
04-03-04, 12:45
Hiya Kate,

Moving house (or selling) can be soooo stressful and i can't imagine rabbits pee is a selling point!!!

I hope u have a better day today and keep telling yourself nice wee positve things

Let us know you you get on

love
lucky

Lottie32
04-03-04, 13:21
Hi Kate

Have you tried a litter tray - our rabbit used to use one.

I'm not commenting about riding accidents - everytime I mention not falling off/getting kicked etc for xx years, one of the dam things attacks me! Any Judy is going to Italy for five days soon, and I'm moving in to look after all five of them!

Anticipatory panic here we come!!!

Last time she was away, one of the horses got stuck in the mud, caught in the electric fence and galloped away. I was between the horse and the electric fence, and as the fence posts came out the ground, I was forced to sprint up the field with the electric fence digging into my legs! Consequently, I ended up eating more of the field than I would have liked, wet to my undies, and with electric fence cuts to the back of the knee and my hands (how glad am I I was wearing jeans and gloves! Still scarred to this day)

Estate agents are generally to**ers. Hope the next lot treat you better

Love

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

sarah
04-03-04, 14:23
Glad you said generally Charlie
My hubby is an estate agent..lol
[:I]

love Sarah
xx

Laurie28
04-03-04, 14:40
LOL SARAH - SUPERB

LUCKY

kate
04-03-04, 16:24
Charlie,

Your electric fence story was just awful! You could have got really badly injured! Poor You!!

We have got a litter tray for the bunny. She used to use this but then all of a sudden decided to wee by the side of it instead of in it.

So, we now have newspaper in the "wee" corner of the conservatory!!

When a viewer is expected, half an hour before they arrive we have to get up all the newpaper, mop the floor of the conservatory and banish the bunny to the garden!

So it's no small wonder that we get annoyed when vieweres don't turn up!!

Lucky, thanks, I had a much better day today!!

Sarah, I bet your hubby is a lovely estate agent LOL

Kate x

Lottie32
04-03-04, 20:36
Kate

Luckily for me, the thing most damaged was my pride - two friends who were there couldn't do anything for laughing.

Fortunately, when I was finally felled, the wire came from round the horses fetlock and she stopped dragging me.

The horse, for all you animal lovers out there, was totally uninjured by the way!

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

kate
04-03-04, 21:55
Charlie,

Glad to hear that both yourself and the horse escaped unscathed!!!

Kate x

nomorepanic
04-03-04, 22:11
Hi Kate

Glad you feel better now.

I used to love horse riding but I was allergic to them so I had to give it up!

Good luck with the house selling - cant be much fun I know that!

Nicola

twister
05-03-04, 00:10
I skived off on Monday and Tuesday.

Spent monday having lunch with my boyfriend and watching films and tuesday watching This Morning - heaven

Emily

blossom
05-03-04, 00:46
I was reading through the messages, and found some of yours kate regarding selling your house, well kate, ours has more or less gone through and now I am scared stiff to move, have got the anticipatory thought, supposing I am not well the day of the move, what will I do, the though of all the upheavel of packing and other things has really got me so very anxious, I am wondering whether to pull out, or not, I asked my son to go round tinight to have a look at the bungalow, and he liked it immensley, but I am scared stiff. Being as we are going into a bungalow, I will have to get rid of a load of stuff, especially clothes, and have had to buy a new 3 piece suite as it does not go with the colour scheme, and also a new bedriom suite. Now I have seven wardrobes to myself, but the new bedroom suite has only 3 double ones, and some low chest of draws that are supposed to fit at the bottom of the bed, and a bedside cabinet, but it looks as though we will have to buy another double wardrobe to keep Ernies clothes in. I really am very anxious about it, and when it is mentioned, the palpitation starts and I get really up tight, so I know what you are going through. The bungalow has all new caroet throughout, but its a terracotta colour, and mine has been maroon, and pink, so all the curtains I have had made, will have to go, Goodness, why did I start this. My bedding has all been pink, so that wont be any good, it certainly wont go with the colour scheme of the bungalow. What a waste of money, I shall have to try and advertise things to sell, if I am lucky, Wish you well kate, I am not too great as I am still getting used to the new pills CIPRALEX, they make me like a zombie until late in the afternoon. Wish you all the luck, e mail me if you can. love blossombargh@hotmail.com

kate
05-03-04, 09:53
Blossom,

I know how stressful this is for you but, instead of looking at the negatives, try looking at the positives!!

You haven't been happy for a long time at your present house. The new bungalow is nearer to your son so you will be able to see more of the Grand children.

The new neighbours will probably be lovely. Think of all the new friends you will make!

This is the start of a new phase in your life. From the day you move,think of it as a fresh start.

You do not know all your new neighbours. You can therefore be any one you choose to be!

Forget about material possessions such as clothes and wardrobes etc.

Ditch all the clutter you don't really want or need. Remember, this is the start of a whole new YOU.

Half the fun of moving will be buying new curtains etc to go with your new home. Don't take with you what won't fit in with your new life.

I know the actual moving day will be very stressful but it is for everyone not just us panickers!

Once you have locked the door on your old life you will be so busy settling into your new life that you may well find that the anxiety subsides and is replaced with more happy thoughts.

Bloss, don't even think about not moving. You will only end up regretting it.

Think of all the reasons why you wanted to move in the first place and keep these thoughts uppermost in your mind.

Bloss, you CAN do it and I think you will find that it is the best decision you have made in a long time.

Oh, and finally, just buy Ernie a new wardrobe!!!

Take care

Kate x

mico
05-03-04, 18:27
quote:Originally posted by kate_r

Hiya Nic,

Thanks for the words of encouragement!

I hadn't thought that it could be the mind playing tricks thing!!

I reckon you are spot on! My mind is automatically thinking it is anxious about going to work when in fact it is just more like a "bad habit".

Yes, the people at work are very understanding. The larger than life cook gave me a big hug and asked me if I was ok. She is lovely.

And everyone else asked me the same. They are all really nice.

Thanks again, mate!

Kate x


Hi Kate

Our minds are always trying to trick us, just try not to let it get to you, your sounding much more positive lately so keep it up.

I too have difficulties going out some days, and I know once I get out I'm not usually too bad, like you say it's just a bad habit, negative thinking, if you can change that to positive thinking then your half way to recovery.

Sure, we don't become positive thinkers overnight, and I know how difficult is, but we can do it. We all have our bad days too, when we really feel that we can't face anything, just don't let them bother you too much and keep focused on your goals.

mico

nomorepanic
05-03-04, 20:59
Blossom

7 wardrobes of clothes - wow !! I have one. Don't worry about re-furnishing the new house straight away and getting it all colour-coordinated, it doesn't matter. Do things a bit at a time. I am just decorating our second biggest bedroom and we have been her 6 years. It has a lovely speckled pink carpet (yuck), green patterned curtains, a lilac duvet cover - need I say more. It doesn't matter that it doesn't all match, you can do that in time.

Kate's post was post on - you have so many more positives at the new place and you will love it there. If on moving day you can't cope then go to your son's and let the rest of them do it - lol

Hope to see you in chat room soon ok?



Nicola

Meg
08-03-04, 17:57
So Kate, what are you most looking forward to when you've moved ?



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Lottie32
09-03-04, 12:03
Hi Kate

Hope you're feeling a bit better this week, and the estate agents under control!



Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

kate
09-03-04, 22:45
Hiya Charlie,

Thanks for thinking of me!

The anxiety is still massive but haven't had a PA today.

We have accepted an offer on the house, so the agent hasn't really done a lot to earn his £1400 as it sold within a week!!

Money for old rope or what?

Anyway, I'm going to a friends house tomorrow before work, so hopefully this will provide a bit of light relief before work!

Hmmmm could skive the day off again I suppose (only kidding)

How are you doing, Charlie? Still doing well on the new meds?

Take care

Kate x

Lottie32
11-03-04, 13:20
Hi Kate

I am really lucky - the prozac seems to be gradually taking effect and I'm having no side effects whatsoever, apart from feeling tired all the time.

I've been thinking about it, and I think I feel tired all the time, because I feel less stressed and anxious and more relaxed. I used to feel like I'd got enough adrenaline pumping round my body to power the whole of an SAS platoon about to storm an embassy. Now I feel much more chilled. I've been going to bed much earlier (two hours earlier than normal) and still feel drained - but I think I'm going to need several weeks of R&R to get myself right!

Thanks for asking love

Hope you have a good time at your friends - but not too good a time that you are tempted to skive off with her for the rest of the day!!!!!!

It's only a few weeks till the next holiday anyway!

Where are you moving to? Are you staying in the same area?

Take care

Love

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

kate
11-03-04, 17:39
Hiya Charlie,

Glad to hear you are doing well on your meds.

We are only moving about 4 miles away, over the road from the school where I work.

Lovely area, though. Plenty of open countryside.

We wanted to go further afield, really, but my son, who is in year 10 at school, didnt want to change as he will be doing his GCSE's next year.

So this is a bit of a compromise move, really.

We are hoping to move again when the kids have left school.

Speak soon

Kate x

nomorepanic
12-03-04, 22:39
Kate - another move again soon - wow you are mad woman - lol

Good luck with it mate and I hope it will bring you much happiness

Nicola

kate
12-03-04, 23:57
LOL Nic, yep think I might just be MAD!!!

I'm getting the jitters about THIS move, let alone when we want to go again in a few years!!!

Still, hopefully I will be happier when I finally find a house I like!!!

Kate x