Slipping back. How do I stop it?

[MOJO]

Hello, I'm having a setback at the moment. I'm so scared and I don't know how to stop it. The fear of going back to how I was for the last 2 years is awful. I have been making good progress for the last 6 months or so. Felt I had my life back. Not perfect, still felt anxious most days at some point but nothing like I had been. I could go out and about without too much trouble. Managed a holiday and trips to see my daughters (a short flight away) on my own.
I know what has started this off again but don't know how to deal with it. My hubbie has a really bad knee problem which means he can hardly walk most of the time. This has gone on for 8 weeks now and doctors are SO slow in getting him referred to a specialist. I have had to do everything for him. Basically turned into his nurse. He hates not working and being stuck in the house most of the time. He's getting depressed about it now.
Then 2 weeks ago my sister who is my "safe Person" and my support through my illness had a heart attack!!!:ohmy: She is home now and on the mend but obviously is relying on me rather than the other way round. Also my elderly mother (who has memory problems but lives on her own) relies on both of us for quite a bit of help with various things in her life. We shared this responsibility but now I feel it is all on me as my sister can't do too much just now and doesn't need the stress.
I am so stressed with it all but can't tell any of them and have just got to get on with it. I have been having pains in my chest too. Probably just stress and health anxiety after my sisters heart attack. I'm getting an ECG tomorrow just to check it out.

So sorry this is so long. I think I needed to get it all out and have no one to tell it to, so as always, hoped the wonderful people on here will give me a bit of support just now.
Thank you for reading.
Love Judy.x

[sammi]

Oh hun

So sorry your going through a hard time. You have been through a lot and have a lot to deal with its no wonder your anxious again. I'm the same I was feeling great for 6 months after a really bad time with anxiety and now all of a sudden its back and I don't know what to do. I really hope you feel better soon x

[Vixxy]

Hi judy, I think anyone regardless of mental health problems would be feeling very stressed at the moment. So please dont beat yourself up for not coping. Youve been doing really well and this is another obstacle in your recovery.
Please dont feel like you cannot tell your family that youre feeling stressed. Bottling it up will only make it worse. Try to keep it positive and tell your husband how hard youre finding it, and discuss with him ways to remove some of that stress. Talking will really help you.
Maybe you could consider getting a trained nurse to come in and help your mum for just 1 day a week, so that you can get a rest and look after yourself.

My advice is to make sure you take time for yourself. Buy some lavender aromapthery oil, or a lavender bath/shower gel. Try to have some me time each evening by taking a bath or shower. This should help to relax you. Once youre in bed listen to a relaxation CD or try progrssive muscle relaxation to get rid of the rest of the stress in your system.

You will get through this and once you have you'll be so proud that you coped with it!

[Vixxy]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_muscle_relaxation

[skin]

Sorry to hear about your sister and hubbie.
Going through things like this would make even the most emotionless person anxious. You should try to think about it like a normal reaction... We're not robots. No one can be emotion-free. What would be the point of that. You probably think you have reached a point where you have to make it up to your sister, for being your safe-person... And this could put an extra pressure on your shoulders. You have nothing to prove yourself now. It's the course of life, things like this just happen.
Try remembering and telling yourself that all this emotions and feelings are normal in this period of your life, and just accept them rather than fight or obsess over them.

[Kell]

Hi Judy,

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time at the moment. It sounds as if you've got a lot on your plate. As the others have said, it's no wonder that you're feeling stressed. It's a perfectly normal reaction.

I think that you're feeling under a great deal of pressure at the moment. Anxiety can be like a cruel little gremlin that comes to haunt us when we least need it. It's almost as if to taunt you with "I can't feel anxious at the moment because I've got people relying on me". I think this is why my anxiety has flared up on holidays in the past because I am afraid of ruining the holiday in the same way that you are afraid of not being able to do what you need to do.

I'm sure that you're doing a great job but make sure that you take time out for yourself to try to relax. Have a chat to your husband aswell so that he can support you.

To be practical: are there other people who could help out & lighten your load?

I hope that you feel better soon

Take care

Kel
x

[MOJO]

Thank you Sammi, Vixxy, Skin and Kell for replying to my post. It really does help to know that people are listening and care enough to reply. I shall take on board all your suggestions. I always did a muscle relaxation cd every day but stopped when I felt better. Big mistake I think!

I do owe my sister a lot for all she has done for me and also feel guilty as I worry that all the stress I put her through may have contributed to her heart attack.

You are right. I must remember that anxiety is a normal emotion for anyone going through a stressful time and not think it's just my illness.

I hope both you and I feel better soon Sammi. It's hard when you have had a good spell and then things go pear shaped!

I am worrying tonight about the ECG tomorrow and what it may show. I can't afford to be ill!

Thank you all again.
Judy.xxx

[ljd]

Hi Im new to this site but just wanted to say that you seem to have a lto on just now so its understandable how you feel. Dont be hard on yourself and get the support you need for yourself to dont go this alone. tc lj

[MOJO]

Thank you for that ljd and welcome to the site! It's great!:)
Judy.x

[ljd]

your welcome and thanks for the welcome