Can Anyone Help Please

[brixtonpaul]

Hi people, I just found this site and thought I'd ask if anyone has any suggestions for me. OK, I've just turned 31, got a good job, my own place, everything I could want. Christmas day just gone my mum hadnt phoned me yet (she lived in Cyprus) I had to call her and it turns out shes in bed ill crying at how crap she felt. anyway boxing day she gets taken into hospital and i fly over, she was diagnosed with lesions on her brain at the time (basically cancer though i wasnt told that for a few days) i had to get her flown home through the medical insurance etc and got her into Southampton Hospital. (she's got a house there, I live in London) more tests etc, and am finally told that she's riddled with the stuff and it started off as lung cancer but its spread everywhere and its only manageable, not curable...shes had chemo and radiotherapy and is now at home in Southampton and doing as ok as she can. But I've lost the plot and i'm having nightmares all the time, drinking, throwing up every morning, i've now got an ulcer (threw up blood friday just gone) and now i'm having panic attacks and cant go to work. work were quite supportive to start with but have started being quite cold towards me and not supportive. I've been signed off work again for 2 weeks with stress and vomiting. woke up this morning and couldnt stop throwing up and shaking like a leaf, it took me 3 hours to calm myself down. And im dreading the same thing happening again in the morning. I've got to get back to work or im gonna lose my job and my house. How the hell do i cope with the attacks? i've spoken to councellors and cancer charitys, my friends have all been supportive as hell, i've got as much support as i can with my my mum and whats going on with her. I just need help dealing with my stress, throwing up, and the attacks. Please someone help me get back to work before the rest of my life falls apart around my ears:(

[Alexandra]

Hi Paul

Welcome to the forum.

You have come through alot fair play to you. My thoughts are with you & your Mum.
Its perfectly understandable what your going through & i really do feel for you, you are certainly not alone & your definantly in the right place for support & advice anytime you need it, just ask & it will be there for you.

Take good care

Thinking of you


Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[nomorepanic]

Hi Paul

Welcome aboard.

Sorry to hear about your mum - must be really hard for you to cope with.

You need to make sure you are eating regularly and healthily even if you don't feel like it at the moment.

Have a good read around the website - www.nomorepanic.co.uk and read this post as well ....

First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)

Nicola

[QueenOfHearts]

Hi Paul,

I'm really sorry to hear about everything you and your mother have been through recently. There is a lot of support here if and when you need it. I am at medical school in Southampton but also live 10 mins from Brixton when i am at home out of term time. Not sure why that is relevant but just wanted you to know that there are people around who are understand. If you want to pm me i'll always listen. Southampton General is a very good hospital and hopefully they'll help your mother in whatever way they can.

[Paddington]

hi paul,i am so sorry to hear about your Mom,my Dad died of cancer and thats what started my panic attacks and i drank too much,numbs it a bit butno good long term as you get an ulcer[as you have discovered]Hasn't your dr given you any help[mine is useless too].look on the main forum page under elcome and read 1st steps .i'm sure there will be something there to help you.Also,you can not lose your job,you are ill and need help,they can't sack you,it's illegal!!People do lose patience i'm afraid,they do not understand[read WHERE HAVE ALL MY FRIENDS GONE ,it's on active topics toward the bottom youare not alone]you have been thruso much,be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be sad,i think you are bottling a lot up,i did without realising it.We are all here for you.love Mary-Rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[blondeangel]

welcome...
I am really sorry about your mother and yourself.
It sounds like your attacks are more anxiety attacks, because the have a cause---your stress. Panic attacks come on sudden without apparent cause. Maybe you are getting both. But your throwing up and stuff sounds like they are reactions the the high level of stress in your body, and your anxiety/panic.
Have you had anxiety/panic attacks on a long term basis before or have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder?
I think that you might need some medication to help calm you down, even though I don't think meds are the answer they can help...as long as you get ohter help and supports.
I hope that you get the help you need.
In the meantime, try to find ways to keep your mind off of your mother....I am not saying not to think of her, but you need time for yourself. Find activities you enjoy and might help you relax like reading, painting, sports, etc.
I understand your concern for your mother...my mother was diagnosed with COPD, which is a fatal lung disease with no cure, over 2 years ago, and it was very hard to handle that news. I know my moms health is failing, and she never really took great care of herself, but thankfully she is taking better care of her health now. What I am saying, is that I love my mom, but I also know that I have my own life. I try my best to support her, and have done research on her disease to find out more about it.
Keep supporting your mother, and keep loving her, but don't foget to love yourself too, and take care of yourself. You need to be strong for your mother...and yourself.

[brixtonpaul]

Cheers to all you guys, i've spent quite a while this arvo going over the site and the info, and I understand whats happening to me properly now. I've just got to start learning to control it. I've printed out the "how to cope" page and Im going to attempt to get into work tomorrow. My Dr's put me on Zispin (anti-deppresant/anxiety), but I didnt really want to take them. So im going too tonight if it'll help. Im trying to keep my mind off it, computer, telly, reading, mates etc. Its just the nagging worry at the back of my head that appears when i've got nothing else to think about. The drink i will start cutting down on slowly, my doc said i need to yesterday as well. The throwing up thing started about 4 years ago when i split up with my ex, but its not really been a problem for about 3 years, so to a degree i am used to that, but not the nightmares and shaking and fear. And its nice to know there's someone in Brixton that understands!! Cheers guys, dunno how this all works but i'll let you know how i get on tommorrow. Px

[jackie]

paul stop dead and quit trying to be super human. you are only after being told some horrible news about your mum and i know if that was me i would also fall to pieces. stop being so hard on yourself. im sure you are a good worker who just needs a bit of understanding. by all means get yourself back to work if only to take your mind of things and feel as though life is getting back to normal again. but dont feel guilty for needing that time.

if you want to no how to deal with yuor symptoms pick up a copy of claire weekes book called self help for your nerves. it is excellent and will help you understand what is happening to you.

also have a look at this site and see how common your symptoms are. you are not alone.

give yourself time mate and dont expect too much of yourself, you have been shocked and hurt at the news and deserve time to grieve almost

i hope this maakes sence, if it doesnt ignore it

take care. thinking of you both
jackie

[Alexandra]

Hi Paul

Take it steady tommorow & remember we are all here for support.

Thinking of you. Take good care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[Meg]

*Its just the nagging worry at the back of my head that appears when i've got nothing else to think about.*

Yes this is soo true.

Apart from the thought processes you need to look after yourself better than you are doing . Exercise, rest, relaxation, diet all really count.

Glad you came back to mention the alcohol..... Was zispin the first medication you were treated with ?

Get yourself some aloe vera juice to try to soothe your tum a bit.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[sal]

Hi Paul

Thinking of you and how hard it has been for you. I know time is the last thing you will be thinking about now as you want to get back to work and move on but you do need some space and time to overcome the things that have happened. Pleased dont be so hard on yourself, you have had a really hard time and it is not unusual that you have found it hard to cope. You are human, have feelings and we are all here to support you through this.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".