Is it just me with a split personality.....

[eternally optimistic]

Hi

Has anyone else got my problem.

I have suffered with anxiety, only realised what it was until about three years ago.

I have this really silly thing whereby I meet people and they have invited me out and I just cant do it.

In the workplace, I think most people really think I am an outgoing confident person and I suppose I am there.

I will go out and about to shops, walking, etc etc and will talk endlessly to people if they want to listen but, if anyone invites me out socially I have a really bad issue with it all - I go to pieces and it really really annoys me.

I am now feeling lost and left out of life because of the situation I have put myself in.

I think it is highlighted because my kids are now teens and they dont need me, which is fine as I want them to flourish into well adjusted kids. But I now have to make a life for myself and I cant bring myself to do it.

I have all the answers to make new friends but just dont do it.

In fact I am wondering why I am writing this post because I have the answers - LOL.

Anyway, back to the question, can anyone relate????

[debs71]

Hi Jackie...you are not alone.

When I was working I always felt part of the team and had a good laugh with my colleagues, but when it came to work do's or social events I would always find some reason not to go, because I just couldn't take that step out of my home comfort zone. I've also done the same thing with people I have met abroad who have invited me out with them. I always end up feeling so bad that I refuse and kick myself for letting my shyness and anxiety overrule me.

You are right about it almost being like a split personality! At certain times you can be that sociable person and at other times, when going what seems to be the extra mile, you just can't do it. It's maddening isn't it?

Just wanted you to know you are not by yourself in this.xx

[eternally optimistic]

TY - that is reassuring....:)

[blueangel]

One thing that really hasn't helped my social anxiety is that where I live now people are incredibly unfriendly. I used to live in a large city and didn't have *that* much trouble meeting people, but three years ago I moved about 50 miles away to a place that's much smaller.

In those three years, I've had absolutely no social contact with anyone other than a tiny handful of people through my partner's job, and that's only been events which were pretty much work-related anyway. Nobody ever seems to want to socialise or go out for a drink, and the consequence of this is that I've become more anxious about meeting new people - but I'm incredibly lonely at the same time.

The only light relief is when I can go "home" and see people that I used to know before

[Lauren_T]

I am exactly the same, but with school.
I write and take photos for a music magazine. I've went to a social evening last week in London for album launch and I was fine.
I've interviewed two bands in my short career (been doing this for a year and a half) and go to festivals that have capacities of 20,000+ but I cannot go to school / college without having several panic attacks during the day and hysterically crying before I go. Its so frustrating, especially when your counsellor says "ohhh wow! thats wierd!"

[eternally optimistic]

Hi, thanks for replies.

I know for sure we're not weird. In fact, it's our different personality that makes us sensationally wonderful - LOL :)

Glad you are still trying to get to college - you hang in there. It will all come right in the end, Lauren.

Cheers for your reply.

[PoppyC]

No its not just you!...I can relate to what you wrote.
Before I had a breakdown, and had anxiety and all the rest, I lived in a busy place, was the life and soul at work, on nights out - I was really outgoing, maybe too loud.
Three years on and I live in a tiny rural village, and I have isolated myself a lot, which I like, but at the same time I do miss the old me. It is like how I used to be was another person almost. I am much quieter and have changed a lot.
I work and do get out but anywhere out of my comfort zone and I struggle and yet I can travel miles away to Cornwall, where we are eventually moving to, and I am fine, but put me in a busy town centre and I am terrible. I just dont understand it.