don't believe the Dr's

[constantworrier418]

I am struggling to cope with my cancer phobia, at the moment I am absolutely convinced I have a lump in my breasts and after numerous visits to the dr's to check my breasts I cannot even look at my breasts let alone touch them.

My worry at the moment relates to a few months back when I happened to touch the area of skin just below my collar bone and I was sure I felt something like a lump so I went to the dr's and he was very good and checked the area in question and even got me to come back a week later to check again. Although I was relieved he couldn't feel anything I keeping getting the worrying thought what if he didn't check the correct area? what if I didn't direct him in the right area? what if I have let this "lump" spread and its beyond treatment? I just don't believe my dr and I don't believe myself - any help or reassurance would be greatly appreciated. I recently had blood tests for something else - they were all normal if I had cancer would something show if my blood tests?

[MidnightCalm]

That's health anxiety, it's always making us disbelieve everything we hear from the people who are actually qualified.
Cancer would pick up on blood tests, there'd be a blood abnormality, something would be very high or low if not a few things, especially if you fear it having "spread beyond treatment" to have spread it'd have to affect the blood counts.
Have you asked the doctor for reassurance for your fears?
I found a lump on my breast muscle (I'm a male) and I went to the doctors, they couldn't feel it the first time, second time they said it was just part of my ribs, then I realised all my glands were up and in my armpits there were some, read somewhere that breast cancer will raise nodes in the armpits too, went to another doctor and he said "just a swollen lymph node, nothing to worry about, keep your eye on it", went to the head of the practice who said the same!
In the 3 months since I've noticed it it hasn't changed in the slightest, which I guess is good, it's about the size of a bean.

[MidnightCalm]

and I totally understand your fear about looking at and touching your breasts, it's like they've become the enemy.
When I was 15 I noticed something weird about my left testicle, I felt it and it felt weird, for 6 years I just couldn't touch it and I didn't even look at it!
I know that's bad, never got it checked!
I decided to feel it for the first time in 6 years the other day and it's not a lump, it's more like tubes, in actual fact I can remember getting bashed in it when I was younger, could've caused me some damage I guess. Definitely not a lump and very soft.
What does your lump feel like?

[constantworrier418]

thanks midnight calm, the thing is that to control my HA I have had to avoid re checking or trying to find the lump -since going to the dr's about it in May I have tried to avoid it but on the occassions that I have felt brave enough to try and see if I can find it I can't find it, - it's possible I could have had swollen lymph nodes as it was in the area near my underarm but I know it was definately there as I was pregnant at the time and when going to midwife I asked her to check it and she felt it but just told me to go to the GP. Feeling really sick about this as without 100% proof its not a lump I don't think I'll be able to let if go.