View Full Version : I've just come home early from night out
I really don't know what's going on here. Basically I got all ready for a night out with some friends and felt a bit anxious but got the bus..got there tried to battle it but it got so much I never even made the first pub..started feeling sick so basically run off got in a taxi. So I've let my mates down..I hardly get a night out so I'm going to be feeling so guilty about this for ages.
I feel utterly sick I really genuinely don't know if it is a stomach bug or something or just me playing stupid and giving in to the anxiety. However in 5 years of anxiety it's rare I get so bad I go home but happened when I was with a few ex g.fs never really in friendships..
Anyway my symptoms tonight were:
Sick feeling back of throat, and sore stomach
Hunger
Slight chest pain
Bowel issues I posted a few days back here..basically I'm hitting the toilet alot with little bits coming out.
My mind said I was dying or going mad.
I got this rush of adrenaline on the bus like I was going crazy...unlike before it was not one dose I had it all night..like "omg can't cope"...about 3 major episodes of it which partly made me go home..infact I was ready to sep off the bus 2 mins after I got on but never..
I was out all day yesterday but only bad moderate bowel issues..not much anxiety. The adrenaline thing affects me at work and when I'm out sometimes but I manage to battle on..I just feel so bad because here I am safe at home feeling a tad sick but online...safe...had a lie down in bed..feel a sad person usually I enjoy and last a night out...but I've been really bad with OCD before I went out..obsessive spaying of body spray case I start to smell, obsessive hand washing, toilet checks..missed 3 buses just from messing about, checking and so on. Feel this never helped me much..now I feel so depressed about it..I feel I need help..I feel stupid for posting here as I know it won't change it...the scariest part was feeling I'd lost control...the world seemed weird when I was out..then the sick feeling and that was me...was either home or I'd worry I'd pass out, die or get locked up from going mad.
I feel really annoyed because I'm not sitting 24/7 anxious now in the house..I am going out, working, walks and so on but instead I can get these anxiety spells that almost make up for it..I'm always anxious over something but as I say not 24/7 atleast but tonight was a spell and it was awful..has anybody else backed out situations? Maybe I am genuinely ill 24 hour bug? Why could I not just see the evening out and be sick and anxious tomorrow? Plus today i've been so emotional for no reason either. I've gone from being like hypochondriac/GAD to I duno what? a person who gets an anxious wreck in odd spells? like tonight I felt so worked up easily..everything was annoying me..all day I've had thoughts like I can't cope with life.
I just need to talk I know I need to take more actions to relax me..I hate the fact I've just spoiled a chance of a what should have been an enjoyable night? I guess this goes down as an all time low for me hence why I've just started feeling down and depressed..however I'm gonna try and grab a good nights sleep. :weep:
I've missed loads of stuff when I was having panic attacks. I missed a gig once that I to this day regret not going to, yet even now, if I was in tHe same position now I would miss it again if I felt that bad again.
I've avoided holidays and all sorts of nights out. Don't worry. You might be finding it hard to enjoy a night out now but you will have other nights out and feel fine.
I used to have a fear of nit being anywhere safe or nit near a hospital in case I was ill. It made going out sometimes difficult to do but over time I've realised I'm as safe at home as I am anywhere else.
Do you drink a lot of alcohol?
I've missed loads of stuff when I was having panic attacks. I missed a gig once that I to this day regret not going to, yet even now, if I was in tHe same position now I would miss it again if I felt that bad again.
I've avoided holidays and all sorts of nights out. Don't worry. You might be finding it hard to enjoy a night out now but you will have other nights out and feel fine.
I used to have a fear of nit being anywhere safe or nit near a hospital in case I was ill. It made going out sometimes difficult to do but over time I've realised I'm as safe at home as I am anywhere else.
Do you drink a lot of alcohol?
Thanks for the reply..
I have avoided a few but never turned up and left so abruptly... don't drink alot of alcohol on a night out said to myself tonight I'll drink cola if I feel sick but nope I came home. I agree with what you say if I could feel safe outside as I do inside it would help. I consider myself to have GAD so my symptoms are complicated..like when I'm out I fear going bad = alot of adrenaline and I believe it so my instinct is to hide away in a toilet or run home..I had this same issue for years but more from panic attacks and chest pain.
I feel rock bottom tonight..I have had a few good days but when I get like this it's awful..feel so down about it feel I've let myself down and everybody. Only way to be positive is going out next week even if it's not the pub just do something because I could end up sitting in worrying again..
I really don't know how to sum up how I've been today or the last few months. :blush:
Think it is important not to think that you have let yourself down. Setbacks are part of life. It possibly isn't even a setback as any person can go on a night out and have to leave. Sometimes it just is not the right night for us to be out. It is possible that you have a bug. Focus on achievements.
Just woke up tonight from shortness of breath and panic..its awful this feeling I'm just gonne die..:ohmy::weep:
Plus the sick feeling has returned so i must have some kind of bug.
I really don't know what's tripped this heavy anxiety spell as I've had nothing atall to worry over. I hate feeling this way..
Hi Phil
Vixster is spot on, just a setback, don't think of it as anything more.
Probably (and subconsciously), you were really looking forward to a night out with the boys, but when we are anxious, all that anticipation can trigger panic.
I sometimes find if I am excited about something then I can end up getting anxious, especially if I have been looking forward to it.
I think the other thing us anxious bunch do is, we start thinking about "what happens if I have anxiety when i am out?". It's a kinda a self-fulfilling prophecy really.
I get anxious when somethings on my mind, but more often in not, my anxiety comes out of the blue for no reason, just like yours, god knows why, but the key is to learn to cope with your anxiety. I found Claire Weekes books a lot of help and exercise, but maybe it's time to pop to your GP and see what other help is on offer.
GL
Jaco
Hey there,
It looks like at the minute there are a lot of bugs flying around so there is a chance you've caught something. Personally I think you did the right thing because if a night out isn't fun then what is the point in going? It just isn't worth the stress!
I'm sure you'll have plenty of good nights out soon so don't feel guilty, and if your mates can't understand your problem then that is their fault, not yours :)
Yes I must have a bug can barely eat today partly due to not being hungry but I'm panicking when eating, scared to swallow, going all numb..feel I'm dying so if it's a bug anxiety makes it ten times worse.. :blush:
I'm fed up when I'm out too this anxiety makes me feel really weird and I'm in a bubble..Last night the adrenaline was that bad I felt so disconnected from life just wanted to find a way home...
Still feel awful..got very bad bowel issues and can't stay away from the toilet..as I say my stomach as been doing it all week but got worse with this bug..So my health anxiety has put two and two together maybe it's not IBS and my bowel issues are serious?
Plus I'm constantly panicky due to feeling this way..I don't get it..feel like I'm absolutely dying..
And ive put two and two together about feeling all weird and strange that maybe it is serious..maybe this is a serious illness and I will die? :ohmy: Plus the symptoms I've felt for months just keep getting worse or they feel worse...:scared15: I really feel I'm going mad because there's times i just get in such a fix I duno what my head is doing..I fear it's anxiety gone mad.
I know people said focus on positive it's hard as when I do the negative ones crop up and I have an adrenaline rush where I feel I'm going mad..that's been an issue..anything can make me feel "wow..I'm going crazy rush to the head, total fear"...
I don't get what's going on maybe I have a bug but I have bad anxiety too..every time I get a symptom I feel this is not normal..plus what somebody else said about feeling safe outside as I do inside how do I do this? I'm thinking of going back to my therapy CBT books for some inspiration..today i've lay n bed feeling ill..don't think it's anxiety making me ill but being ill is making me anxious..its awful feeling this way..
As I said I am going out more..but I still come on here because for maybe an hour I feel I just can not cope with life...and rather than ignore it it causes me severe worry..because sometimes these symptoms are that annoying, awful I fear it's wrecking the quality of my life...:blush:I wish I never felt so alone in how I feel..not that I'm ignoring any advice just this is how I feel from anxiety..
you can feel very alone with severe anxiety and sometimes when i feel in a bad place if someone tries to tell me something positive i could just punch them! it is a scary isolating place, i hope you feel better soon and try and remind yourself that you have come through it before xx
you can feel very alone with severe anxiety and sometimes when i feel in a bad place if someone tries to tell me something positive i could just punch them! it is a scary isolating place, i hope you feel better soon and try and remind yourself that you have come through it before xx
Thanks.
I genuinely don't know what's wrong but I am working myself into a fit of panic again..short of breath has made me struggle to eat, pain in my chest and back.
Seems crazy all this has just come on bad again..like I thought my heart was going to stop because it went all slow again..I hate feeling this way why is it making me feel this bad? it's a vicious cycle of how I felt weeks back..I can bet my sleep will be affect again too. Seems all it takes is a minor bug to trigger my anxiety off.
Sounds like you've got alot going on for you at the moment my friend, so don't be hard on yourself.
Sometimes I ask myself what I would say to a friend or someone I really care for if they were experiencing what I am going through. I am some how always very caring, forgiving and supportive to my friend. Yet oftentimes very hard on myself. I think you're being a bit hard on yourself right now...
Its quite common to get bowl issues with your anxious Phil.
If you think of the nuts and bolts of it, anxiety is part of the fight of flight system, it triggers all those chemicals and causes alot of tension in the body. That system is designed to help us keep alive, but its not suppose to stay on all the time, which is why its so helish to deal with anxiety. Excersise really helps to get rid of some of the chemical implications of being very anxious and stressed, you can do the fight or the flight bit, which helps release the tension. It also helps produce some of the happy chemicals like seretonin and endorphines.
Different people tend to hold physical tension in different places in the body, mine is in the stomach and shoulders. I often get a bad tummy when I am very anxious, because it knots up with stress and experience similar unpleasantness as you have described.
I also get knots in my shoulder which can be really painful too.
I used to get really worried about these, since getting treatment for anxiety these have got much better.
If you are feeling physically sick, I would recommend going to see your GP tomorrow. It could be you do have a bug or maybe eaten something funny. But you need a doctor to accurately access your symptoms, it might be these are side effects on your body from the stress your feeling at the moment. Or even a combination of both.
At least you'll be able to get some evidence either way rather than having your mind run riot with worries of what it could be.
You can also if you feel comfortable, go over how your feeling with your doctor. And potentially discuss some ways you might be able to get help with the anxiety you're going through.
As for going out. I am seeing a therapist at the moment and on AD's. Going out for me is often horrid because I feel in a constant state of fear and my heckles go up. I feel vulnerable and paranoid. Yet I can't let my guard down and be honest about how I feel, because I feel people will judge me. I feel stigmatised by admiting mental/emotional issues. So I put up a pretense of being confident and in control, when underneith I feel like shit. That conflict causes stress which I would normally deal with by drinking.. Which in turn normally makes me worse in the end. Its a very negative feedback loop, which ultimately makes everything worse.
So I realised for the time being, forcing myself into a social situation I am not comfortbale with is almost like self harm. I'm not letting anyone down by avoiding things which are not good for me, quite the opposite I'd say.
So I have been taking a bit of a break from going out, at least to that kind of thing.
You're not letting yourself down or your friends by doing the right thing by yourself. You're clearly not feeling well at the moment both physically and in how you feel. You're surely not doing that on purpose, I'm sure if you could avoid feeling like this you would, right? So you're not exactly doing anything wrong that you should feel is a failing. You're just trying to look after your health, which is the right and proper thing to take responsibility for.
If you can, I would really go and see your doctor in the morning..
Best of luck and hope you feel better.
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