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View Full Version : confused and scared



ems43
10-10-10, 20:48
Hi there,

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and am currently taking mitazapine ( one week and def better for me than the escitalopram). Anyway I am just really confused over these episodes i keep experiencing. I have suffered from panic attacks in the past ( typically would fear was going mad but also had fears would have heart attack, pass out etc). When i prev had them, they would become very acute, I could not hide from others how i felt and then the feeling would diminish over about 30 mins. The main symptom that bothers me most about my current illness is feeligns of depersonalisation/ derealisation and i feel pretty detatched most of the time and have lots of odd and scary thoughts. but there is times when things really come to a head... once this week when i was at a gig and then today when out shopping. i just have the most god awful feeling, i think i would call it anxiety or maybe terror, just extreme distress. i feel as if nothing is real, that no one can reassure me and also think i am either going mad or the world really isn't real. anyway, when these really intense feelings come on i feel so awful that suicidal thoughts flood through my mind and i think i just can't cope with a minute more of this. i keep trying to tell myself that i am strong and can cope/ the feeling will pass etc but they honestly last about 3 hours plus sometimes. i am just so confused... are these panic attacks? i mean, i look normal to others, my partner would have no idea how distressed i felt inside. today i even checked my pulse and to see if my hands were shaking- my pulse was like 85 and i was not shaking no any other real signs of anxiety apart from a feeling of extreme tension in arms/ legs/ face.. almost as if there is something crawling under my skin or there is poison running through my veins... very hard to describe. i have been referred for cbt and am hoping that may help but woudl really appreciate any advice, experiences from others. when it happens at the moment, i try to keep myself busy ( went for one hour walk and swan 60 lengths) and the anxiety def goes down to a managable level but still always there. oh my damm brain!!:mad:xxx