View Full Version : obsessing about dying how often do u think about it ??
hi just recently i have spent what feels like 90% of the day scared about dying even crying because im scared my daughter who is 5 has recently started talking about heaven and dying she said people at school are saying it to her and now she is getting upset incase i die its almost like she is reading my thoughts so scarey. just wondered if anyone else also thinks about it alot .. i have suffered anxiety and panic attacks for 3 and half years. these thoughts are taking over to the point where i keep looking up about life after death ect i feel like im going crazy again :weep:
i think about it alot too hun, and sometimes i cant stand it if people are talking about death/dying or whatever. even if they're only joking or making light of it. i do sympathise. try and not think about it...i know that's easy to say. but if when it pops into your head u try and think of something else, that might help. xxx
i think about this too,daily! its horrible as i have a 10 month old daughter and constantly feel sad about it, what helped me was going to church every sunday even if you dont believe just to be there u know it makes u feel calmer and more focused, it did for me. :) hope u feel better soon
i have never been to church or even thought about religion untill these last few weeks and its now something im thinking of doing thanks
no bother at all :D i hope it makes u feel better aswel. it really really did for me. brightened up my whole day when i went and felt more in control of my feelings and thoughts.
A great philosopher said: "Once you ask yourself the big questions, you can never be happy again". He was talking about "who am I", "what happens after I die" etc. He says we would never be happy again, but he certainly doesn't know about this forum :D. I noticed a long time ago that us anxiety sufferers are of a more philosophical nature. And really, I find nothing wrong with it, I am actually proud of myself in this domain. Ofcourse, when the mind-chatter and racing thoughts start to affect your day to day life, that's not ok. You have to find the proper balance and answers that sooth your soul/mind. Religion is definately an answer (although I'm not very religious) - but it deffinately works for a lot of people.
It depends with me; there are long periods of time when it's in my mind every day. I've been aware of mortality and the passage of time since I was a tiny child (much younger than I should have been aware of it, I'm sure). It's very easy to get sucked into the thought that everything about existence is pointless, and it's something I fight with constantly. Unfortunately, I don't have any sort of religion as a comfort, which grieves me deeply.
paula lynne
11-10-10, 11:53
Hi Im sure your little girl at 5 is asking questions that we probably did at her age, next week they will all be talking about the latest xmas doll or whatever! Its the inquisative mind of the young...perfectly normal hun x
When they ask US, it reminds us of our own mortality, and its natural to worry we wont be around for them. The reality is, you will be around for a long time yet...so try to focus on the wonderful blessings in your life, and dont dwell on the What Ifs.xxxx:)
When I'm down and suffering a bad bout of anxiety/depression I think about it constantly, when it subsides I realise dwelling on that stuff is silly and I forget it again because life is awesome. But alas, another wave and more thoughts about death! Ah well, I'll be happy again soon.
olderfella
11-10-10, 18:32
Im convinced its thinking about my own mortality that started my anxiety,i try now never to think about it,although as you are aware thats easier said than done:blush:
Natural Mystic
11-10-10, 21:52
hi just recently i have spent what feels like 90% of the day scared about dying even crying because im scared my daughter who is 5 has recently started talking about heaven and dying she said people at school are saying it to her and now she is getting upset incase i die its almost like she is reading my thoughts so scarey. just wondered if anyone else also thinks about it alot .. i have suffered anxiety and panic attacks for 3 and half years. these thoughts are taking over to the point where i keep looking up about life after death ect i feel like im going crazy again :weep:
Yes, since my skin cancer diagnosis (Dec 07 and all clear now) I suffered very badly with anxiety and the fear of dying ... well moreso leaving my 9 year old. I do believe that when you become a parent you do worry about these things it's just that some of us take it to another level. I don't know the answers but I do know that you can manage the extremeness of it, when you stop fearing every headache, stomach pain, chest pain. No it isn't easy and after over a year of being "well" I feel it's back. Still it ain't gettin me this time :yesyes:
sketchyboots
12-10-10, 21:57
There is definitley a massive connection between anxiety and fears for own's own mortality. It is natural when you are not of dying age and especially if you have children to fear death. When you are naturally ready to die - ie hopefully over 80 or 90 you will probably be physically and mentally worn out, happily asleep in your armchair or bed and the thought of dying will not freak you out in the slightest. You probably won't even think about it at all at that stage hopefully. If you do, having a faith will help you definitely. I lost a very good friend who died relatively young at the age of 51 from leukeaumia. With my grief, my anxiety shot through the roof and I literally collapsed on the floor breathless when he passed away. At that time my boyfriend who happens to be a devout Christian started to read to me from The Bible at night. It sounds really boring and silly but it sure helped the grieving process. I am not of any particular religion myself but Christianity places a strong emphasis on life after death. Likewise, the Hindu religion believe in reincarnation, that life goes on. So having a faith can be extremely beneficial in comforting someone who is having to deal with death - especially death that comes from illness and is not natural old-age death. I really feel for you as I know exactly what it feels like to be so anxious about our own and other's mortality. I was out to dinner with my parents the other night and I had a panic about death - it was horrible. The only thing that made me feel better was getting back to the car and seeing the dog - something about his wagging tail and optimism that made me forget all about it! I think if you spend alot of time alone your fears can escalate, mine certainly do. I think us anxiety sufferers are all quite deep thinkers anyway - that's why we panic so much because we are always thinking about what could go wrong! We just have to learn to live with it I suppose. Anyway, you are not alone in this fear but try not to freak out too much or you will make yourself ill (I know I have!) Wishing you more pleasant thoughts, .:hugs:
when my anxiety is high i go through a lot of worries about death and i shouldn't do lol because i have had a lot of spiritual/spooky experiences but the lack of "proof" or what we would deem proof upsets me and like you - i find myself trying to find answers.
the wierd thing is - is that even if i got proof that there was an afterlife - i don't think that would make my anxiety disappear which proves the fears are an offshoot of anxiety and not the cause.
i remember having a panic about death when i was around 5 - i am sure this is normal in children - its probably the age they first start to think about it x
yes i also think about dying alot! especially when ive had a bout of being ill, like last week. i had a muscle spasm in my back and was laid up for 3 days, and all the time my head was telling me i had something much worse?
i think everyone, even non anxious people.
like joannap, i also have had a few spooky encounters, or unexplainable! and it does reasure me that there is someone looking after me and comforts me.
hope this feeling passes soon for you :hugs:
I find that when I'm feeling anxious or a bit low, my thoughts can drift to thinking about my mortality and that of my family. I think it may be because a few close family members have had health worries over the past few years.My Dad had a big operation 4 years ago and my husband has has some health problems.Also, my grandpa died of cancer 5 years ago and I was with him when he died. I've been a nurse and looked after many patients who were dying, but this was different and I think it has affected me.He put up a brave fight for a long time before he passed away. I wasn't especially close to him but I was fond of him. Sometimes when I look back, I wish that we'd had a closer grandfather/granddaughter relationship and I do miss him. There were various problems with my grandparents and my mum (they didn't get on all that great for many years) which put the brakes on us being a closer family. Also, my mum lost her own mum to cancer before I was born and I don't think she's ever fully got over it. They were very close.
Now my own parents are getting older and don't keep in great health. I dread the day that I lose them too.
When the anxiety is not around, I can feel less fearful about death. I don't worry or think about it too much, but when the anxiety rears its ugly head, that's when it starts to trouble me. I'm not particularly religious and have questioned my belief in God onoccasions when you see what goes on in the world today. I have also thought about maybe going to church to see if it would help. Although at times I worry about dying and leaving my family behind, it's the thought of them having to cope without me which troubles me more (I have 2 young children).
The only thing I can say is that I didn't realise how many people worried about this. I thought it was just me being silly.
hi baggie - i am sure your grandad took great comfort in you being there even if he was unconscious etc. i was with my grandma when she died - i had looked after a lot in the last few years before she died and i always wanted it to be just me and her when the time came and spookily enough that was how it worked out. it may sound strange but its almost an honour to be with someone when they make that transition - i think i was a bit in shock though because after she had died i wondered if it was ok to finish off my chocolate biscuit and cup of tea lol and i kept asking the staff if she truly had died! i had expected to be very upset but she had literally been dying for the past 2 years and it was a blessing really so i think i had already accepted it.
the wierd thing was was that the next day - when i went to collect her things - her presence was still soooo strong in the room and then i remembered that a few months earlier she told me she had had a dream that she had died but was still in the nursing home. the even wierder thing was was that my mum then dreamt (a few days later) that my grandma was running down the nursing hall corridor - obviously very intent on going somewhere (spirit world?!) and my mum shouted "biddy!" because she was so excited to see her and put her arms out (she was my grandmas ex daughter in law but they were still close) and my grandma shouted "don't touch me!" because she was so intent on reaching her destination but her and my mum touched and my grandma exploded into hundreds of tiny flowers. i have since had many dreams of meeting her in the spirit world.
my grandma in the few months before she died kept saying there were children in her room and babies crying - she told me about a little girl who kept singing to her and when we mentioned it to the matron she laughed it off - however - a staff member then told me that the home used to be a refuge for unmarried mothers and their children in the 1930's and that she had heard children herself and that the lady who had had grandmas room before spoke of hearing babies crying and so it makes you wonder that when you are nearing the end - you can "see" into the spiritworld. there are definitely things out there we cannot explain!
Hi joanna
Thanks for your kind post. I'm glad you were also with your grandma when she passed away. It sounds like you were very close and it would have meant a lot to her. I think my grandpa knew I was there. He couldn't speak and was very heavily sedated due to his pain relief, but I'm pretty sure he knew I was at his bedside. I decided to travel down from where I lived at the time which was about 2 hours away as I knew that he was becoming weaker. I made it to the hospital that afternoon and he died about 10pm that evening. I was so glad that I'd gone to see him - I think I knew I was going to say goodbye.
The story about your grandma hearing children and babies was really interesting. Especially as someone else who'd been in the same room had a similar experience. It does make you wonder doesn't it?
I'm wondering what is it you are scared of?
Can you be more specific about the things you think or imagine, in regard to dying.....
What is it you believe about dying and what will happen to you, or what will happen to others around you?
olderfella
14-10-10, 19:00
I worry about dying my main worry is how will my family cope,i have no life insurance and would hate them having to claim benefits to survive,i would like nto see all my children grown up and happy before i go but we never know whats round the corner,i started worrying about death when my buisness partner lost his wife to a brain tumour at 41yrs of age leaving him with 3 kids that and a few other people dying have played a big part in my anxiety:unsure:
I get very scared to die sometimes (like now) and what you wrote made me believe more in the afterlife. My mum is psychic and her partner. They both go to a spiritualist church and were even on a tv series once lol. It was called Psychic Academy. I think I'm going to start going to the spiritualist church with her and try and get some comfort. Here's a link to my mum who was on the show lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi3uUtHnkfg
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.