Today is the day im going to seek help....

[Carly Lou]

Morning everyone...
well today is the day... i have made my doctors appointment 530 pm today !!! to see my doctor... My health anxiety is at a point now where i need to seriously do something about it...
Ive had health anxiety for nearly 2 years now... ive had many tests, abdominal scan, chest xray, blood tests,smear,swabs... all of which have been fine.......... but the feeling and pain is so feel i cant believe that everything IS ok :-(
even tho my latest symptom of pain in arms/chest/back... is a trapped nerve possibly my doctor has said.... it has sent my anxiety rocketing...
ive imagined all sorts of things.... tumour on my spine causing the pain....
I cant go on like this anymore.... the past few weeks all i have thought about is... dying and never seeing my little boy grow up, never getting married to my partner... as close as not seeing my 26th birthday in November... every night im so anxious im having slight panic attacks... my heart is pounding and all i am thinking about is dying...
It got so bad last night i was lead in bed imagining my funeral and what music there will be... i even got stressed i could only think of one song for when they carry my coffin out... not the song when everyone will arrive at the church :scared15:
This just has to stop now..... i mentally and physically cant cope with it anymore... to the point i do feel i am actually going mad... im always feeling unwell... like ill get a spout of ibs... then that goes then ill get a bit of a headache, then a week or so later there will be another symptom i cant explain... but in my head it is cancer or some deadly disease..

if anyone had any success in going to their doc and a week later being completely different let me know... i can not not live like this forever :weep:

Carls
xxxxx

[ditzygirl]

mmm you are doing the right thing sweetie but you may not feel better immediately. The fact that you are going to doctors today is a huge step forward though and keep focussed on that!!!

Bug the doctor for all the help ou can get - counselling anything he can offer!!!!!!

My anxiety is general but causes me a nightmare at times - I have recently taken control and asked for help and am coming on in leaps and bounds, there are still difficult days but i feel so much better and quite positive about the future.

Good luck for later and let us know how you get on xxx

[nicky26]

could have written that post myself big hugs hop the doctor can help you let us know how it goes x

[paula lynne]

Well done for facing the fear...and doing it anyway. Im sure youll come back from gp reassured, although it may take a while to fully accept you are ok. Let us know what happens x

[skin]

Carly, recovery is a process that takes time. But with the kind of HA you have (which I also had), a week of meds/counseling will show a huge difference. I'm currently on Sertraline and Ativan (lorazepam) and can honestly say it does make a big difference. Ofcourse, you have to work for yourself, meds and counseling aren't a miracle-cure by themselves. I'm rooting for you.

[Carly Lou]

Thanks everyone... it really does help to know im not alone... my motivation is a all time low... we are going out for a meal tonight, me and my fiance, im so looking forward to it but im not motivated if that makes sense... im in the process of leaving my old job to start a new one begining of nov... as a carer for people with dementia... im so excited about it, and dont want to be feeling like this... worried ill end up loosing the job, and that just CANT happen,
my family cant understand why i am like it, so difficult to try and explain to them,
just the slightest pain now and i go into panic, even pins and needles in my foot sets me off, how stupid is that ... ill let you all know how i get on, my doctor isnt ever to keen on putting me on meds, not sure why, i have tried the cbt but all she did was saying well you worry about all of this yet you smoke... yes i do smoke... but that is one thing that i (sorry to say) enjoy, i dont smoke 100 a day, prob 10 to 15 max, have great friends ( which i dont really make the effort to say anymore) as im to busy sitting and thinking about dying and being ill.... awful horrid poop it is lol !! xxx
thank you so much for the replys... it really does make me feel better to know people understand and are the same :-) xxxx

[Inspires]

Carly,

You're doing the right thing.

We're all with you, so when you go to your appointment later, it's going to be really crowded. :winks:

Now you're taking this next stage, you'll discover that you're on the road to recovery.

Have a wonderful time this evening...and don't worry, it'll just be the two of you. :D

Take care,


Sue x :flowers:

[belgarion]

if anyone had any success in going to their doc and a week later being completely different let me know...


Don't set yourself a target date for feeling totally different. If your not a lot better this time next week, you will be dissappointed. However if your even a little bit better, your going the right way.

It took me a while to feel normal again and it really doesn't matter how long it takes. Plus it wasn't my doctor who helped, it was some CBT training. My doctor was not helpful at all..

Good luck, and keep us posted!

[nomorepanic]

Ask the doctor for some referral to counselling and preferably CBT - that should be a big help.

[davey]

best of luck with your doctor-look at is as the first step to changing things for the better

[Carly Lou]

Thank you thank you all..... we went to Italy in Sept for a romantic week away... my anxiety ruined it on the 4th day, i was feeling so sick... and was nervous going out anywhere incase i needed the loo.. which i did, so embarressing when you rush into a toilet and then come out to find a old italian woman wanting money as cleaning the toilets and the money given by toilet users is her only income... needless to say i had non on me... id left my other half upstairs with my bag and rushed down to the loos. i felt so sick and nauseas.and this happened for the rest of the holiday.... good old ibs through stress came to join our romanic holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice
So i am going to be brave and just blurt it all out to the doctor...
thank you so much for all your support all of you... it really does mean so much xxxx

[Carly Lou]

Hey xxx sorry taken me a while to post, trying to get my head around things...
So... i got to the doctors... got in there and just burst into tears.... poor man... he must have thought what on earth is going on... i explained that i always feel unwell... be it tummy ache... or a bad back, etc etc etc... and said that my mind goos into over drive thinking irrational thoughts that it is something to do with cancer and that its the first stages and im going to die... i explained my obsessive thoughts on dying and how scared i am... and spend most of my time thinking about it and planning my own funeral... he looked rather shocked when i said that, he said oh you poor thing... and said something needs to be done about this... he has given me a GAD assesment sheet which i have filled out... i even tried to work out the scores on the sheet haha... to my mind im depressed which is what he said i am experiencing... depression and anxiety... depression !!! i felt so bad that i had let myself get this bad... and what a impact it must be on my other halfs life... me always going on and on and on and on about dying and thinking i have cancer... must be awful for him...
So.... I am on my way back to the doctors today at 4.40 to sort out what type of meds im going to be on... im really excited... but also very nervous as i do have a slight phobia of taking meds and side effects...
Im so glad something is being sorted... my aches and pains in my arms and back from this strained muscle havent gone either.... and thats stressing me out.. my irrational thoughts about it are trying to sqeeze there way through :-( xxxxxx
ill let you know what meds ill be on.... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Carly Lou]

Hey... Have been to the docs, she was so understanding... she said how horrible it must be to be in such a dark place... and how i clearly need some help to try and get myself out of it... she said how the cbt just wont work for me and she said i have to trust her that she will get me through this... i am to see her every week and she even said my darling, if there was anything very wrong with you... i will notice as i will see you every week...
so... the medication that i have been put on for the first time ever... as i have never ever been on any meds is...................... " SERTRALINE"
so... anyone been on this ?? she did say that i may feel a little worse than i will better. but she said i MUST persevere xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ditzygirl]

That is fantastic news well done for being so open. It's a releif when the doctor takes you seriously.
I was in a similar place to you 8 weeks ago. I did what you have done and with the help of a new Doctor Im making great progress.
I have 50mg of sertraline and although the first 10 days were pretty hard i felt better within 2 weeks. I have been seeing Doctor every 2 weeks and needed some blood tests which I will avoid at any cost . I've had my tests and begged the doctor and nurse to help me with my anxiety and my weight. Now going to the doctors is easy coz i know them and I am out walking, being careful with my diet and feel so much better.
Sertraline works for me but I can't do prozac or citralopram, drugs effect people in different ways.

You've done so well, there is light at the end of your tunnel.

Good luck and keep us up to datex

[uk23]

Well done on taking that step, it must be very very hard for you.