Siamgirl
11-10-10, 23:32
I have lived at home with my parents for the last two years, mostly due to my inability to work and my issues to do with anxiety and depression. I'm very nearly 29 and I'm still struggling with issues that I cannot control. I've just started therapy, which is beginning to be useful, but at the moment, I can't bring myself to talk to my therapist about an issue that I have to do with relationships with men.
It's a long story, so anyone who manages to read this and get through it all, well done!
My long term partner finished with me around two years ago. This affected me much more than it should have, to the point that when I think about it (i.e. now) I always well up and usually end up crying. So silly and incredibly annoying.
Anway, I had a relationship with a guy after the break up, about a year ago. I became obsessional about him texting me as this was the form of communication that we used. If he didn't text me in a day or if he took 'too long' to reply to a text from me, I became inconsolable and convinced myself that he was no long interested in me and that I'd managed to push him away. It ended after about 3 months. I'm sure it was mostly down to my insecurity. When he finished with me, I'd texted him and he just ignored it. I sent him another one two days later and he ignored that too. Then I got an email to let me know that that was it. I was suprisingly ok about it then because I think it was a relief.
I really thought I was at the point that I could deal with a 'relationship' again. I met a guy just over a week ago. He was very keen and last week, texted me every night and we spoke on the phone on Friday night. All seemed fine and we have arranged to meet up on Saturday. I think I talked too much and came across like a big weirdo but he still seemed like he was interested etc.
Then he went away for the weekend. I got really anxious (crying fits) when he did not contact me on the Saturday and Sunday and on the Sunday evening, I decided to contact him. He replied straight away and then I asked to call him because he'd asked a question about meeting up that I couldn't really explain the answer to in a text. He was fine, but again, I ended up talking too much and I cringe when I think of myself talking to him on both occasions.
Anyway, we finished the telephone call etc. and I thought he might contact me tonight by text. He didn't and I'm feeling horrible again. I am convinced that he has gone off me after talking to me on the phone because both times he hadn't contacted me, it was after a phone conversation.
I've become obsessional about it all. He hasn't done anything wrong, but I am just obsessed with the texting thing. I can't eat properly or concentrate on anything but this and am so sick of feeling this way. I know this behaviour is potentially irrational, but I just keep thinking, if he doesn't contact me before meeting up again on Saturday, he doesn't want to see me again. It's taking over everything and should be very minor indeed.
I want to feel ok about it.
Has anyone been through the same thing? How did they deal with it?
I really know how I sound, but I can't change my thinking at the moment.
It's a long story, so anyone who manages to read this and get through it all, well done!
My long term partner finished with me around two years ago. This affected me much more than it should have, to the point that when I think about it (i.e. now) I always well up and usually end up crying. So silly and incredibly annoying.
Anway, I had a relationship with a guy after the break up, about a year ago. I became obsessional about him texting me as this was the form of communication that we used. If he didn't text me in a day or if he took 'too long' to reply to a text from me, I became inconsolable and convinced myself that he was no long interested in me and that I'd managed to push him away. It ended after about 3 months. I'm sure it was mostly down to my insecurity. When he finished with me, I'd texted him and he just ignored it. I sent him another one two days later and he ignored that too. Then I got an email to let me know that that was it. I was suprisingly ok about it then because I think it was a relief.
I really thought I was at the point that I could deal with a 'relationship' again. I met a guy just over a week ago. He was very keen and last week, texted me every night and we spoke on the phone on Friday night. All seemed fine and we have arranged to meet up on Saturday. I think I talked too much and came across like a big weirdo but he still seemed like he was interested etc.
Then he went away for the weekend. I got really anxious (crying fits) when he did not contact me on the Saturday and Sunday and on the Sunday evening, I decided to contact him. He replied straight away and then I asked to call him because he'd asked a question about meeting up that I couldn't really explain the answer to in a text. He was fine, but again, I ended up talking too much and I cringe when I think of myself talking to him on both occasions.
Anyway, we finished the telephone call etc. and I thought he might contact me tonight by text. He didn't and I'm feeling horrible again. I am convinced that he has gone off me after talking to me on the phone because both times he hadn't contacted me, it was after a phone conversation.
I've become obsessional about it all. He hasn't done anything wrong, but I am just obsessed with the texting thing. I can't eat properly or concentrate on anything but this and am so sick of feeling this way. I know this behaviour is potentially irrational, but I just keep thinking, if he doesn't contact me before meeting up again on Saturday, he doesn't want to see me again. It's taking over everything and should be very minor indeed.
I want to feel ok about it.
Has anyone been through the same thing? How did they deal with it?
I really know how I sound, but I can't change my thinking at the moment.