Dads had heart attack

[miss_moose]

My step mum came to see me this morning to tell me my dad is in hospital, he had a heart attack yesterday, she said it was a mild one but they are still keeping him in for a week.
Now ordineraly (sp?) i'd be up there like a shot, the hospital is only 5 minutes walk away, the thing is i am agoraphobic and social phobic.
I've gotten closer to my dad this past year after not seeing him for many years, and i have panic attacks everytime i see him, and we only go for about 10 minutes at a time.
I really want to see him, but i'm so panicky that even the thought of going into the hospital with all the people, and not being able to "escape" but fills me with dread.

I went to a cafe yesterday as part of my exposure therapy, it was in a country park with floor to ceiling windows the whole way around so felt outsidey, and there were no people in it and i still had an awful panic attack, we were only in there 5 minutes, so i can't see how i'm going to go to the hosptital.

Kath (my steph mum) said it's ok, and they understand that i'd not be able to go. But i feel so useless and guilty, he's my dad, and he needs my support and i cant even pull myself together to do this one thing for him.

[sammi]

Sorry to hear about your dad hunni, I don't really have any advice but send :hugs: to you and your dad. Keep us posted on how he is xx

[Kell]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your dad but it sounds like he's going to be ok which is good news.

Try not to beat yourself up about not being able to go & see him. It sounds as if him & your step mum are very understanding of your situation.

Why don't you send him a get well card via your step mum to tell him how you feel. Could you phone him? Alot of hospitals have the facility where you can call patients or they are allowed to use their mobile phones.

Take care
Kel
x

[tracey c]

So sorry to hear about your dad - I know how terrible that is. From what you say your dad and step-mum understand how hard it is for you so don't punish yourself. Try writing your dad a note to say how you're thinking of him and also a phone call (if thats allowed).
Hope it all goes well for you.
Take care x:hugs:

[Nigel]

Hi miss_moose,

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Hope he’s doing alright now.

It’s no use beating yourself up about something that’s too difficult at the moment, and doing so only piles on more stress which is exactly what isn’t needed. The important thing is that you’re ‘trying’ – that’s all anyone can do.

As the hospital is only 5 minutes away, perhaps it would be possible to go along and see how it goes, but taking it one small step at a time.

First, just reassure yourself that whatever happens you’ll be ok, and you can escape, and you can be back home in 5 minutes if you need to. Perhaps stand outside for a bit, then take a step inside and see how that feels. If you feel you can take a few more steps, that’s great. If you can’t, well that’s ok too. One step at a time and see how it goes.

It’s the ‘trying’ that counts, and your dad will be so proud of you for that.
Remember... try to do your best, but no better :winks:

Take care,
Nigel

[ladyj]

So very soory to hear about your dad but it sounds he is going to be ok and really beating your self up about not being able to go will not change a thing send him a note a phone call a card flowers even just to let him know you are thinking of him and i am sure he understands and wont hold it against you . maybe you could try a walk to the hospital with out going in see how that feels if you are only 5 mins away it wont take you long to escape back home and then maybe inside the door and so on by the end of the week you may make it and if not well you tried dont blame your self it is as it is for now onward and upward as they say (((hugs))) for you jenny

[lajjj]

maybe it would help just to see if you can go for a little walk or drive towards the hospital even if you dont want to go in? you dont have to go in at all i am sure your dad understands but obviously you are feeling guilty about it so maybe by just walking towards the hospital would help and prove to yourself that you have tried. just do it with out any expectations of actually going in. you shouldnt beat your self up you did really well with your exposure therapy and should be proud of your self! xx

[miss_moose]

thannk you all so much for your support. i'm going to try and have a walk to the hospital this afternoon and see how i get on.

I'm going to the supermarket soon to get him a card and some puzzle books, i can usualy manage this but now i'm having a panic attack at the thought of going.
But atleast if i do this, i can feel as though i am doing something, and then let Kath take them to the hospital.

I'll keep you posted how i get oin, thank you again, your advice and support has been much appreciated.
I don't have many friends (and i dont see the ones i do have due to my social phobia) so having lovely people here on hand right when i needed it is amazing.

Thank you xx

[sammi]

Good luck hunni will be thinking about you. Let us know how you get on :hugs:

[Kell]

Well done miss_moose. I'm sure that your dad will appreciate the effort that you're making. At the end of the day, he's your dad & he loves you & will want what's best for you so try not to best yourself up no matter what the outcome.

Take care

Kel
x

[Nigel]

Well done miss_moose, that’s being so positive!
I hope your dad’s doing well, and I’m sure he’s well proud of you :smile:

Take care,
Nigel

[miss_moose]

Hello again,

I had 2 attempts at the hospital, the first time i didn't get far inside, the 2nd time i got to the ward but i just couldnt go in, i felt so sik and my heart was pounding, i feel awful complaining about how i feel when i've seen all those patients.
I was crying so badly, knowing my dad is in there and i just cant go and see him.

My fiance went in though and took him our card and puzzle books i'd bought him. Good news is he's not in a bed wired upto machines like i imagined, he's sat in a chair, with a heart moniter, and has his books.
Hopefuly he'll be coming home on Friday.

He has his mobile phone with him so i texted him to tell him im sorry and i'll see him really soon, deffinately when he comes home, and told him i love him (which is not something we've said alot).
And he texted back to say he understands and he's doing ok :)

It means i have till friday to keep trying to see him though, and i know where the ward is now so i can go there without getting lost.

He was on his bike when it happend, he rode himself to a chemist who called 999, i've just rung Kath and offered to collect his bike and she said thats a big help because they were wondering what to do about it, so atleast im being useful.

Thank you all so much, i'll let you all know if i get there:)xxx

[sammi]

Well done hunni for getting so far your dad will be proud xx

[Nigel]

Glad your dad’s doing well :)

This morning I read about a person who couldn’t even go to the hospital, now you not only made it inside but you made it all the way to the ward as well. That's amazing!
WELL DONE :yesyes:
Somehow I have a feeling you’re gonna make it by Friday, but for now you’re doing other things to help that are manageable – like collecting dad's bike – and that’s admirable. I hope you’re well proud of yourself :hugs:

Take care,
Nigel

[ditzygirl]

You poor thing - the situation in itself would make many people have panic attacks.

It sounds as if your dad is on the mend and is in the right place to get all the care he needs. Hospitals are awful if your fighting panic - they set me off too.

You are being really brave and your thoughtfulness at collecting the bike for your step mum will mean a lot.

Your dad knows that you are trying and that will mean a lot too.

You should be really proud of yourself you are coping admirably in a horrid situation.

Please keep us updated with yours and your dads progress - thinking of you and big hugsx

[PoppyC]

Hi
Sorry to hear about your Dad,and I hope that he soon recovers.
Well done for getting to the hospital. You should be proud of yourself. :hugs:

[caz1625]

Well done you for trying. :yesyes: I really do understand how you feel, my mum was in Intensive Care which was up on the 4th floor of the hospital and I tried and tried but couldn't make it in to the unit. The nurses were great and would take the phone over to her and let me speak to her. I felt so bad because I felt that under the circumstances I should have been able to beat them...........but much as I tried I just couldn't. Once she was up and moving around I used to go into the ground floor of the hospital and they would bring her down in a wheelchair for 10mins so I could see her.
Maybe your stepmum could do that once he is a bit better.

Carol x

[Inspires]

Well done, sweetie,

What an accomplishment! :yesyes:

Your Dad must feel so proud of you, and I'm sure that just knowing you were so near to him, will cheer, and improve his recovery.

You'll be together soon, I'm sure, so take baby steps, and you'll get wherever you want to go...in the end.

I hope your Dad gets well soon.

Take care,


Sue x :flowers:

[Kell]

Well done. You've done really well. You should be proud of yourself for making the effort. At least you've tried. You never know - the next time you might make it! Even if you don't, at least you've done what you can. The main thing is that your dad is getting better & that he knows that you're thinking of him.

Take care

Kel
x

[miss_moose]

I went to see my dad tonight, i was only there a few minutes but i got to see he was ok for myself and give him a massive cuddle!!!:bighug1:
Fingers crossed he'll be home Friday but chances are it will be later than that now because he has to go to a different hospital for an Angiogram(?), so we don't think he's allowed home until he has that, but they need to get him an appointment first.

Thank you all for your support, love, advice and encouragment, it means so much to me.

I need some reassurence now, i had the worst panic attack i think ive ever had, i was burning up, feeing sik, hyperventilating. got home aout 45 minutes ago and i still feel really hot and like im goin to be sik, and shakey, is this normal to fee like this so long after? my chest keeps hurting and feeling funny too like tight and heavy, i know all these are symptoms of panic but i'm questioning myself now

[Kell]

Well done. I'm really pleased for you. I bet he was chuffed to bits to see you.
I hope that you are feeling better today
Kel
x

[Granny Primark]

Ive just come across you post about your dad.
Im so glad hes doing and I think you did wonderful to pluck up the courage to go and see him.
WELL

[Granny Primark]

sorry bout the mixed up post I had my 3 year old grandaughter jump on my knee as i was typing

[ditzygirl]

Glad your dad is doing well, and try not to worry about your bad attack, I am sure it is a reaction to what is happening just now with your dad. Its a horrid stressful situation and you will feel better once he is out of hospital.

You are doing incredibly well so be proud of yourself.

Sending lots of hugs and best wishes to you and your familyx

[Nigel]

Hi miss_moose,

WELL DONE!
Somehow I knew you would make it :D

I’m glad your dad is on the mend now, and I bet he was so surprise – and pleased – to see you. It’s like you’re both recovering together.

Sorry hear you didn’t feel too good later. Sometimes these things don’t hit us until after the actual event has passed and we’re able to reflect on it. And the general level of stress about what had happened to your dad no doubt didn’t help.

Hope you’re feeling better today :)

Nigel

[miss_moose]

HI guys, Kath has just been to see us and says he's doing well, she said he was delighted to see me yesterday and when i'd gone home after seeing him, he said "Blimey, that must have took some doing!":D He never seemed to understand my panic much before but now he well and truly does, i'm so glad i cheered him up too:hugs:

Kath seems to be doing good do, we were having a real giggle because my mum (his ex wife) wants to come and see him!
He can't stand her and Kath said that'd finish him off, and was crying with laughter.
He'll be ok aslong as the "dragon" stays away!:roflmao:

I've been panicking and upset today but after my chat with Kath i'm feeling much better now.

I'll keep you all informed, don't know when he's out yet as he has to have an Angiogram, but hoping for sometime next week.

Thank you all again, you've been great xxx

[Dahlia]

Well done, Miss Moose - it's fantastic that you went to see your dad. I'm glad to hear he's on the mend. Remember, your anxiety will probably be higher generally at the moment, because not only did you challenge an agoraphobic situation, but you're also worried about your dad - so if you feel sick/shaky etc longer than usual, reassure yourself that it is why.

Dahlia x