Agoraphobia...getting somewhere

[ridiculouschatname1]

Hi guys. I'm a sufferer of agoraphobia, have been for 3 and half years now. I thought i would just write down some of my experiences with it here. Hopefully i'm posting this in the right place as im new:yesyes:. And if i ramble, do forgive me.
It all started about mid 2006. I had recently broken up with a gf and was in a depressing and dark place. I had started a new job, but it wasnt very good, and i was feeling under a lot of stress. One day i was walking around a shop in town looking at some books and i suddenly, apparently out of nowhere, started to feel sweaty and very anxious. I also felt an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Naturally i thought i just had some kind of virus, so i shot out of there pretty fast and went home, ( although i bought the book first, lol ). Monday morning came round and i felt better so decided to go to work. But when i got in the car the feeling came back, and i felt a desperate need to go to the toilet again. I stayed in work for a few hours but i was constantly runnin back and forth to the toilet so i went home. I kept tryin to go out for a few months afterwards, but the same symptoms were always there, the worst being the toilet needs. I ended up barely even able to walk a few paces without feeling faint and dizzy. I eventually went to the doctors who said i was depressed and havin anxiety issues, and subscribed me 10mg of citalopram. He also referred me to a community health nurse, who came out a few times a week to try to help me go out. I kept at that for about 1 year and a half, they jacked me up to 40mgs of citalopram but they made my anxiety worse so i decided to stop taking them. The nurse who was coming to my house wasnt working out either so i decided to stop that too as it was making me feel depressed that i wasn't making any progress. I've been on my own pretty much since then. It's been a pretty rough year, but i managed to conquer my depression issues, and have even started making progress in going out. I recently bought a bike and have been out on it a few times, which feels great. I havent been very far yet, but im getting somewhere I think. Anyway just wanted to share some of my experiences, sorry if it went on too long, lol. Cheers.
Paul.

[willitstop]

Good to hear your getting better gradually.

i know exactly how you feel and its so hard to beat i have been suffering with anxiety and panic disorder with agoraphobic tendancies for about 7 years now and its horrible.
just when i think im making progress i get knocked back :(
never give up your fight its your life and you deserve it back.
take care and good luck

[paula lynne]

Hiya Paul...I like my couch too!! great profile pic....Im Paula, agora and panic attacks 10 years now...still here though! A great supportive site, youll find lots of help here and make some good friends along the way x:welcome:

[ridiculouschatname1]

Cheers mate, encouraging words never hurt eh? I'm new on here, but im glad i've found somewhere where i can talk and hear about others like myself. Just makes me feel better about the whole situation. I'm getting more positive recently, on the road to recovery, heres hoping. Best of luck to you too, and thanks for the reply.
Paul.

[willitstop]

positive thinking is definetly the way forward and i hope you continue to do well and get your life back :)

[ridiculouschatname1]

Hi Paula thanks for the reply and the welcome. I'm not even sure im posting things right, but hey ho, i'll learn as i go:D. I've been looking around the forums and i've seen a few of your posts, i like the qoute you have, about courage and trying again tomorrow. I can relate to that. I only joined here last night and ive had 3 or 4 replies, i feel so popular! lol. Anyway, thanks again.
Paul.

[Inspires]

Paul,

I've just read your post, and it makes for interesting reading - Thanks!

You're doing really well...so keep going.

You'll find lots of support and advice from caring, friendly people...each and all having their own tale to tell...

So carry on typing, and I'll be looking out for your fab input. :yesyes:

Take care,


Sue x

[ridiculouschatname1]

Hi sue, thanks for taking the time to read it, glad you liked it too!
Yeah this is a really good website, its great to talk with people that understand where you're coming from. Thanks again.
Paul.

[sugarplums]

hi paul, how are you today? sorry, i've only just noticed your story of agoraphobia ( it's going to take me some time to get used to this site).
from reading your story it sounds like there were alot of changes taking place at the time of when the anxiety began, because you mention you had recently broken up with a girl friend and also you started a new job that you didn't feel happy with . so perhaps it was emotional overload so your body was responding to the overload. the anxiety does usually spring out of nowhere, my doctor also suggested i take citalopram but i was too afraid to take it because i worry about taking tablets. do you feel they helped much? i went to see a homeopath and although i wasnt keen on taking the homeopathic remedies either (incase of some strange reaction lol) but i actually found the talking with the homeopath really helpful, more helpful than a counsellor actually, and the homeopath helped me to see where all the anxiety was coming and why i was experiencing the dizziness etc. He said my dizziness was in fear of being abandoned , which could be true as my dad was never there for me and my mum was emotionally unavailable so i did feel abandoned and never thought of associating the two things together.
was just thinking maybe you could be experiencing something similar as you said you have been on your own since then, though you seem to be making good steady progress and getting the bike was an brilliant idea... :yesyes:
hope to hear from you soon
Annette xx

[ridiculouschatname1]

Hello again Annette. Yes as far as i can tell, my anxiety started cos of some kind of stress overload. It was a really rough period in my life. Guess i had some kind of breakdown. The citalopram..i took 10mgs for awhile, which was ok, but then they tried to get me up 40 and that gave me really bad side affects. I cant really take strong pills either. What is a homeopath exactly? I saw a therapist a few times, which was helpful, but had to stop as they were tryin to make me go to their offices in town which i just couldnt do. And the thing about the abandonment..that really struck a chord with me. I definately have abondonment issues. I'll have to look more into that. Good stuff. How did your school run go today?
Paul.

[sugarplums]

hiya Paul, this my 2nd attempt to send this as i just wrote absolutely
loaaads about homeopathic remedies lol, then the screen went blank :doh:

Well, homepathic remedies are natural and homeopathy believes to treat like with like, so for example if someone has anxiety , they would give a natural remedy that would naturally cause anxiety , yet it would treat the anxiety. And they believe tablets a doctor would prescribe only "masks" the problem and doesn't deal with the root problem. A homeopath is much more thorough and will find out so much about you whereas at a doctors we all only get 10 mins or so , only to come home none the wiser.
Usually, the first appointment with a homeopath is about an hour and a half , and they try and find out as much as they can about you so they can build up a clear picture of you.
I found It truly helpful and could see clearer where all the anxiety came from and helped me to make sense of it. He (the homeopath) said that my symptoms of dizziness were in connection with my fear of being abandoned. I had never looked at it from that way before..!
He said when you're feeling dizzy it makes you feel disorientated , confused, lost, afraid and abandoned. And he said when you feel lost, afraid, confused or abandoned...that can make you feel dizzy. So in other words our body respondes to thought.
im going to continue on a seperate message incase the screen goes blank again...

Annette xx

[sugarplums]

...continued from the other message..

i can sympathise when you mentioned having a breakdown, i think i've had a few mini breakdowns over the years , more so when i was in my late teens i think, i went through a stage where i wouldn't even answer the door, let alone go out anywhere. looking back i really dont know how i got out of that phase , i had alot of therapy and got lots of self help books and relaxation cd's, and the counsellor gave me gradual steps to do each week, like walking to the end of the road one week, then going a bit futher the next week, which probably helped. I'll never forget how isolated i felt at the time and my family had very little understanding of it and i felt i was the only person in the world who had this problem.
But as the d.ream song goes.. things can only get better lol

Annette xx