my story....now is there anyone else like this?

[stevesinelgin]

Since the age of 18 after a serious stress related breakdown in the winter of 1992, I have gone though numerous medication changes. My diagnosis has been mostly one of mixed anxiety/depression, although I had experienced symptoms in my mind that seem anything but anxiety.....more like dementia or some rare brain disease. It would appear that the medications get me well, but after a couple of years or so and a period of worry I start to lose my mind again. Then before I know it, I am back to square one yet again!


Physical symptoms like breathing difficulties, palpitations etc are bad enough. However it is the mental symptoms that really trouble me and just don't add up as anxiety. How can anxiety cause me to lose connection to my long term memory or make me feel as if family members and friends are strangers? What is it that is going on in my brain? I don't feel physically anxious but I am curious to know why it feels as if my brain is damaged. Also I feel as if I can no longer learn things and have forgotten skills which as you can imagine has me convinced of a more serious diagnosis than anxiety.


My latest setback started with symptoms of fuzzy headedness and a racing mind....i knew full well that this was anxiety and that it would pass. However, foolishly I started to 'google' symptoms and without realising was fuelling my cognitive symptoms to the point I was convinced that masturbating was causing tiny strokes in the memory part of my brain by the time of the 'blow off' point in July. Now a few months later I'm waiting for my mental health to recover and get on track again. I know that blood pressure worries are without foundation so the possibility of clots in my brain wiping memory after masturbating is extremely unlikely.

[Nigel H]

There may be a possibility that your mind is trying to protect you form something in your past that it's not ready to deal with yet. Whether you are aware of something in the past that this could relate to, or maybe have blanked out some type of traumatic experience.

The unconscious part of our mind has this function to protect us ... and will sometimes bring things to our attention when we are in a situation to deal with things, but we often 'push it back down' and try to move on whilst ignoring the signs.

I don't know if you have been medically treated with regard to diagnosing dementia, or anything like that, which you are worrying about - but if not, I suggest you discuss this with your doctor first.

If you have anxiety playing on your mind, it is likely that concentrating on something new to learn will be less easy for you anyway, so that does not entirely surprise me.

Once you have covered off the potential for anything being medically wrong - such as a rare brain disease - then you can find the suitable help to deal with the past emotions that led to your breakdown. It's possible that dealing effectively with that will allow your memory to feel comfortable in allowing recall - since any negatives would have been dealt with and you would not have a need to 'protect' yourself from re-living them any more.

[stevesinelgin]

well everyone doubts that i have dementia....just well incredibly, the physical freeling of anxiety just isnt there....its like a portion of my brain has shut itself down....was obvious earlier this year it was anxiety, but i would have thought it would have stopped. However i have been told that anxiety can be self-perpetuating to the pint where you are no longer feeling anxious and get weird manifestations and in my case i lose my long term memory, feel like my family and friends are strangers, etc etc...just doesnt seem to be anxiety and i do feel amazingly calm and just a wee bit low...sometimes i do wonder though. ihave been on the same dose of sertraline since 2006 and for the first 2 years or so it worked wonders, but i know that no matter what drug i take...it is not a cure and im reluctant to have to change it. once i had another AD 'augmented' with an anitpsychotic...with disastrous results ....just hope and pray my 'mojo' returns soon

[Typer]

When I was feeling at my worst, my memory was non existent. Anxiety takes many forms and manifests in strange ways. Perhaps the memory of your breakdown is so scary, and you fear the repeat that as suggested, your mind is protecting you.

Unfortunately, if for example we are unable to feel sad, when maybe we would expect to, we seem to also then be unable to feel joy. Similarly parts of the mind can become inaccessible if it chooses not to remember....almost selective memories.

[joannap]

anxiety can cause the brain to shut off in some ways - like a protection mode and yes - when your brain is really tired (through stress) it can cause the symptoms you describe. the thing is - if you truly had dementia - you would not be able to think about it/worry if you had it lol!

my breakdowns come after a patch of stress/worry so i guess what you have to do when you feel well is to regurlarly check on your thought patterns - to try and worry less and also to make sure you get enough rest/relaxation so it does not build up x