hi all im a newbie!

[Joexgee]

hi im joe, just come across this site! dont know how i haven't seen it before seeing how many i have had looked at before!
im 38 married with two teenage girls, and i have suffered with panic attacks, anxiety, sa, and my nerves for most my adult life.
i am really at breaking point with it right now :weep: i have had it under control many times, but it always rears its ugly head and then POW! back to square one! the latest episode brought on by not being able to attend my 1yr old nieces christening because my mind was telling me i cant go as i will panic in the church in front of all them people :mad: i managed the reception bit but could not bring myself to go to the church! im so so mad at myself and feel so low right now..
this was like a month ago and my anxiety seems to of hit sky high.
im also feeling a tightness at the back of throat like i cant breath in enough or something. i know its prob a panic issue but i have never suffered with this before and last night i just freaked thought i was gonna stop breathing :weep: i have had enough!
anyway thats a bit about me i hope to meet some people who suffer the same so we can support eachother in this horrible illness we suffer x
:hugs:

[diane07]

Hi Joexgee

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[sugarplums]

hi Joexgee,..:welcome: im new on here too and i've just read your post about not being able to go into the church, for fear of panic striking, i also get this from time to time in waves... it comes and goes, i have 3 lovely young children and whenever the school go to the church or have any school events ...i start to feel really anxious, and its just the whole thing of trying to "look normal" in that kinda situation and thinking "what if i have a panic attack in there or something". i've managed to get to most of their assemblys and sports days etc but i have missed some events because of my anxiety and dizziness, then i feel really guilty for not going and when i pick up the kids they say "aaah mum you weren't there", and i feel so disappointed in myself because i truly wanted to go , and i hate disapointing the kids , yet they know i will be there if i can. they know they're loved and when i missed on of my sons school events a few months ago, i spent most of the day crying about it, felt so frustrated with myself, then i went to pick up the kids from in the afternoon and got home cried some more and kids wondered why i was crying and my son said "it's okay mum, you have come along to lots other ones before and there will always be another one soon you can come to" ...bless him.
the people on here seem really friendly and helpful...:hugs:
feel free to message me anytime, it's reassuring to know there are other people in the same boat ... best wishes xx

[Joexgee]

aw thanks so much for the reply :) i feel exactly like that! although my girls have grown up near enough, 14 and 18! i had just the same problem, assembleys were a nightmare for me! i would miss alot or end up walking out half way feeling like an utter failier :(
parent evenings are the hard ones right now as my youngest is in high school and its feels so scary when i have to sit in a room in the middle of a large building somewhere! it makes me freeze to my chair :weep: i dont even hear what they are telling me anyway, cos everything is muffled.
i think that the person im talking to can actually see me having this panic attack and i just lose it! i have sent my husband to them the past year because of this! you sound like u have lovely children :D they obviously care a great deal of how you are feeling and wont hold anything against you, mine are pretty much the same thankfully :) but it still doesnt help u feeling guilty! im new on here and hope i get some support as i dont really have anyone that gets me at home, so far everyone seems lovely.
thanks again and you feel free to message me too xx :hugs:

[paula lynne]

Hi Joe and welcome, youre not alone x

[JOHN55]

Hi Joe - you have found a site which helps just by being there !!
Your not alone I too have suffered pnic for years on ad off and when its under control ists fine once it has a chance to come back and you allow it you got so annoyed with yourself but dont worry you will soon be back in charge,
John:yesyes:

[sugarplums]

hiya Joe, yes parents evenings are awful too, i get the same thing happen to me too where i cant concentrate on what the teacher is saying either!! im too busy telling myself okay.. this is for 5 or 10 mins.. i can do this, and im so busy trying to not let my anxiety show infront of the teacher... that i miss half the stuff they're talking about anyway.
anxiety really sucks sometimes. ive had anxiety since my late teens, im now 31 and it has got better over the years, but i have lots of relapses, one minute i can make huge improvement and im back taking the kids swimming again, to the park or cinema... but then out of the blue ... i feel like im back to square one again with it all.
Alot of people i know don't realise i have anxiety and even my friends have no idea how bad the anxiety can be at times, i think i disguise the anxiety pretty well because im a bubbly person anyway so people just think im being a bit hyper lol.
I used to feel very embarrased about what people would think of me if they saw me have a panic attack , but over the years i couldn't care less now what they think. a counsellor helped me to see the sence in this. she said " if you saw someone who is feeling dizzy or having a panic attack in the street or a shop etc, what would you do?" , i said " well, i would go over to them and ask if they're alright , do they need me to ring someone , or get them a drink etc" . then she said "so why do you think it would be so awful for people to see you have a panic attack or holding onto a lampost?" ....then i thought of the worse case scenaro and the worse that could happen is one of the mums see my have a panic attack and might tell the other mums at the school, someone may ring an ambulance, only to be told its anxiety and to be taken home.. so if all that happens so what. So i can now do the school runs though i reaaaally dont like doing the morning ones lol.
yes im extremely lucky to have 3 adorable kids that have so much patience with me and are incredibly understanding, and it sounds like your kids are just as amazing. yes, we do as parents feel really guilty about not being able to go to the odd event etc, but the thing is we can only do our best, and as long as the kids know they are loved and cherished then thats what makes kids feel happy and secure.
And like you, i dont have anyone who gets what im on about either where i live , im a single mum and my family are pretty useless, so i think we should give ourselves a pat on the back for not going insane lol
love and best wishes,
Annette xxx

[ridiculouschatname1]

Hi Joe, I'm a newbie too. I came across this site purely chance, even though i had been looking for something like this for ages and could never find a decent one. Better late than never though:D. I've also missed out on alot of things due to my anxiety, the worst being my brothers wedding, where i was supposed to be best man. Not a good feeling. My panic attacks havent been too bad recently, although i still definately have my bad days. This is a really good site, I'm sure you'll get alot from it. Take care.
Paul.