Intrusive thoughts, Premonition worry.

[pinkdante]

I posted about a year ago scared to write it down really as I was so afraid that if no-one said they had the same thing that it would make it worse, but after I have read spme posts on here as well as my previous one I want to be more specific as I am going out my mind with worry and cant see how I can get over this.

I have health anxiety mainly but have had ocd since I was 7 so I can understand many of peoples posts as my intrusive thoughts have varied over the years but my most anxious making is the one I have about my oldest son.

I am so scared to write but i just hope if anyone else has the same thing it would help me so much.

I have always worried about peoples safety and its always been my mum or boyfriend, husband etc but when my son was about 2 I got an intrusive thought out of no-where that something would happen to him when he was like 17 - we watching him in a toy car and this was the basis of the image. I was totally freaked out by it but managed to reason myself round by various flaws in my thought. But it would also say it would happen before he was 5.

Then when I went to visit his School when he was 4 I got it again and it was 'something will happen here at the school' - well I was beside myself and the rituals to prevent him from coming to harm started to take place.

They moved Schools later so I can now say that that one is ok!

I grew up in a family that were often mentioning premonitions and mothers intuition etc and i could not tell the difference - it got all confused and i became terrified. Worse as I only had it about him and not the younger one but the older one was an angel when my 2nd one was born who was a difficult baby and the more helpful and adult he was the worse it got.

At Christmas last year I woke up and had a thought immediately 'if he shouts out now something will happen' - well it was around getting up time and he did shout 'mummy' - ofcourse my xmas day was ruined.

This happens alot - the co-incidence thing - 'if that happens now it has to be true'! I was half asleep this am and thought if they say 'badger its true' - and I thought i heard them say it - but i was half asleep, but its so draining!

I tried to put it behind me but the very fact that I had got in to a state made me think that it would be real. I was almost over it when my friend told me something happened to her nephew and that her sister had always said she had felt it or something - but i am guessing her sister didnt have ocd and was quite in to psycic stuff i think - but threw me back to square one. I hadnt always felt it anyway but the thoughts sparked it all off - It was 2nd hand information plus they lived half way round the world but I latched on to it and confused it up with my ocd - which at the end of the day i am pretty sure it is. I was worried about even saying that on here as i latch on to things but if someone else is thinking the same thing as me then it would be the ocd. I hope that makes some sense.

I hope someone can maybe reason this out as I know that even though i have ocd - if its someone elses worry i can see it so clearly for what it is.

Please can anyone help or reassure me as I am finding this so difficult to cope with.

Thanku!

[lollypopgirl1981]

hi, im going through the same thing with thoughts, im talking to myself all the time about my daughter who is 2 getting her first mmr jab which she should have had at 13months, prime example i spoke to doc yesterday about her getting it done as got her booked for it on 25th of this month, i told doctor im so scared that shes goingt o have a bad reaction to it, my doc said in 20years she has never seen a baby have a bad reaction, my first thought was " theres a first time for everything, maybe my daughter will be her first baby she sees that has a bad reaction....if that makes sense, i do things like this alot everyday, i think there is something bad going to happen if i see one magpie.... also because i never imagined i would ever have kids, im sure that something is going to happen to take my darling daughter away, so i can be single lonely old me again. i can honestly say i dont know what i would do if anything happened to my daughter she is the love of my whole heart, even typing this it scares me that im saying it out loud and im jinxing it....you just have to stop and think no if i dint have this then i wouldnt be thinking like that. hope this helps... take care x

[pinkdante]

Hiya - I just want to say I waited with my son a year after he was supposed to have the MMR for the same reason. He did have it and he was fine so try to be reassured and also the whole MMR thing was big back then and now they know it to have n link. In fact I have a friend with 4 boys and the 2 that have autism did not have the jab! The other 2 did and dont have it.

I really sympathise obviously with you but your right we need to repeat 'Its not me, its my OCD'. As you say if we didnt have ocd we wouldnt be worrying!

I guess knowing others do have the same problem does help but it is so hard isnt it!

There is actually a name for what we have - its called Thought-Action-Fusion. I saw a councellor who told me this and again it helped for a while to know I wasnt alone.