Anabell
16-10-10, 14:37
When I first started getting panic attacks six years ago I had all the common fears like heart attack,stroke, madness etc but not any other health worries. This has really changed and in the past twelve months my health anxiety has really bitten - I've got terrible anxiety daily that every little thing is a symptom of something serious to the extent where I've lost perspective when it comes to simple things like a cold. My husband's had to talk me down a few times because I've had a bit of a temperature and convinced myself it's fever etc etc.
Now it's getting to a point where I'm calculating the distance to the nearest A&E if we go anywhere but if I can, I'm avoiding leaving the house at all. Yesterday was the worst day so far - my sister-in-law's wedding and I fell apart :weep: I often get panic attacks when I'm tried and I've never been one for social gatherings anyway but I also tend to get woozy/de-personalisation if I'm standing for more than a few minutes so I wasn't feeling too good. I'd also had the flu jab the day before because I'm diabetic & have asthma. Well, I managed until we all sat down for the actual service but as soon as the bride was coming in I began to lose it to the panic and whilst everyone was standing I snuck out. The hotel they were getting married in gave me some iced water and for once I had no problem stating that I suffer from panic attacks and felt faint. I felt a bit better but then the ceremony ended and I was surrounded by a few dozen people and the panic came back - I was right there with the desperate need to be at home (100 miles away), thought I was going to ruin the wedding by dropping dead with a heart attack/fainting/losing mental control.
Now I'm very lucky because my husband has read this site with me and is very patient and understanding of my anxiety and my in-laws were also understanding when I explained because they know it's been a very tough year in which I've lost both parents etc. They found me a hotel room to take some time out in but I spent the rest of the day in there petrified. My husband stayed with me but I was convinced I was having a severe reaction to the flu jab, having a stroke/heart attack as a side affect of the Ramipril my nurse has just started me on. It got to the point where NHS Direct were called and they tried to reassure me but I was convinced we needed to get to A&E so I wouldn't die in the hotel. I also wanted to get to the A&E near home so if I died my husband wouldn't be far from the children.
It was the most extreme I've been and lasted so long - although I'd calmed down by the time we made it home so didn't bother A&E on a Friday night. Now I just feel exhausted and a bit anxious - and really guilty. The wedding wasn't affected and the bride/groom didn't know anything about it but my husband didn't get to enjoy his sister's wedding day and it was the worst time it could happen. I've spoken to my doctor before about panic and anxiety but not been back because I thought it was the Ramipril causing it and he took me off that to see - of course it wasn't the Ramipril and now I'm back on it because I had a BP of 130/85 which has brought heart issues back into my mind :doh: The reason I hadn't been back is because I've been very wary of any medication he might suggest but now I'm wondering if it might help calm me whilst I learn to work through this health anxiety and get it under some control. But I'm worried that if I explain to the doctor that I think it's panic/health anxiety he'll just agree and not be willing to give me some reassurance about certain symptoms like breast pain & swollen glands that I'm not sure are anxiety.
Has anyone got any advice on how to explain that I realise many issues are due to panic but I'm still concerned about others?
Thanks
Bell
[Thanks everyone - yesterday would have been much worse without the wisdom here that my husband had taken on board to talk me down]
Now it's getting to a point where I'm calculating the distance to the nearest A&E if we go anywhere but if I can, I'm avoiding leaving the house at all. Yesterday was the worst day so far - my sister-in-law's wedding and I fell apart :weep: I often get panic attacks when I'm tried and I've never been one for social gatherings anyway but I also tend to get woozy/de-personalisation if I'm standing for more than a few minutes so I wasn't feeling too good. I'd also had the flu jab the day before because I'm diabetic & have asthma. Well, I managed until we all sat down for the actual service but as soon as the bride was coming in I began to lose it to the panic and whilst everyone was standing I snuck out. The hotel they were getting married in gave me some iced water and for once I had no problem stating that I suffer from panic attacks and felt faint. I felt a bit better but then the ceremony ended and I was surrounded by a few dozen people and the panic came back - I was right there with the desperate need to be at home (100 miles away), thought I was going to ruin the wedding by dropping dead with a heart attack/fainting/losing mental control.
Now I'm very lucky because my husband has read this site with me and is very patient and understanding of my anxiety and my in-laws were also understanding when I explained because they know it's been a very tough year in which I've lost both parents etc. They found me a hotel room to take some time out in but I spent the rest of the day in there petrified. My husband stayed with me but I was convinced I was having a severe reaction to the flu jab, having a stroke/heart attack as a side affect of the Ramipril my nurse has just started me on. It got to the point where NHS Direct were called and they tried to reassure me but I was convinced we needed to get to A&E so I wouldn't die in the hotel. I also wanted to get to the A&E near home so if I died my husband wouldn't be far from the children.
It was the most extreme I've been and lasted so long - although I'd calmed down by the time we made it home so didn't bother A&E on a Friday night. Now I just feel exhausted and a bit anxious - and really guilty. The wedding wasn't affected and the bride/groom didn't know anything about it but my husband didn't get to enjoy his sister's wedding day and it was the worst time it could happen. I've spoken to my doctor before about panic and anxiety but not been back because I thought it was the Ramipril causing it and he took me off that to see - of course it wasn't the Ramipril and now I'm back on it because I had a BP of 130/85 which has brought heart issues back into my mind :doh: The reason I hadn't been back is because I've been very wary of any medication he might suggest but now I'm wondering if it might help calm me whilst I learn to work through this health anxiety and get it under some control. But I'm worried that if I explain to the doctor that I think it's panic/health anxiety he'll just agree and not be willing to give me some reassurance about certain symptoms like breast pain & swollen glands that I'm not sure are anxiety.
Has anyone got any advice on how to explain that I realise many issues are due to panic but I'm still concerned about others?
Thanks
Bell
[Thanks everyone - yesterday would have been much worse without the wisdom here that my husband had taken on board to talk me down]