Losing Faith In the human race

[emmajamma]

So quite a deep title, basically I have been doing quite well anxiety/depression wise then this weekend a girl I have been 'seeing' on and off for quite a few months has finished things as she feels she can not cope with the lack of stability cause by my 'illness'.

The point about the lack of faith is that she has made me open up to her about it all and we agreed that we would wait until I felt 'better' and then begin a relationship, alas she has now said no, no chance ever.

I feel so annoyed with myself as I know I am overreacting due to my 'illness'. I have spent most of this weekend in bed feeling really low etc and just feel like whats the point.

I think the biggest issue is the sense that I felt I could really trust her and now that has just gone instantly. I have known her almost a year and she did a similar thing in feb BUT insisted I could trust her this time. I understand that its hard to be with someone that has anxiety/depression its just the sense that she has just lured be in to a false place I have trusted her she has known about my issues yet still does this.

Ohh and yeah I'm gay incase anyone was confused! Sorry for the rant I guess im just wondering how other people deal with the ups and downs of normal life without falling apart??Thanks.xx

[paula lynne]

Hi emma Im sorry to hear whats happened. This girl has clearly betrayed the sense of trust and confidence in your relationship.
You did nothing wrong opening up "denying how we feel is like denying being real"...if she cant handle you, illness and all, then she doesnt deserve you.
I know you feel low, im in bed myself:weep::weep: but....soon youll be back out there, and love will find you when you least expect it.
Have a good cry and let it out...then tomorrow...........you know the rest xxxxx:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[ditzygirl]

EJ

Don't be annoyed with yourself, you have been hurt by someone who you thought you could trust - that's painful.

i think you have been really brave and strong opening up and being honest - i spend my life trying to hide it!!!

Maybe this person is scared of your situation, many people are scared of the stigma of anxiety and depression. But sadly anxiety and depression are very very common and anyone can suffer.

Whatever her issues, she is not the right person for you.

You will someone special and who will respect your situation, in the meantime look after yourselfx

[debs71]

Hi Emma,

It was very wrong of her and quite cruel after telling you that she could be trusted this time to do that to you again. To mentally mess about with you when you have problems already is thoughtless and selfish in my opinion.

As Paula said already, she clearly doesn't deserve a sensitive person like you and you will find someone else who understands what a supportive relationship and unconditional affection really is in time. xxxx:hugs:

[emmajamma]

Hi, thanks for all the replies its really helps. Yeah I think thats what has hurt me the most the fact that I was honest and opened up. It was a pretty complicated situation we were not strictly in a relationship. I just feel like she has partly reinforced the stigma around depression/anxiety that I was really trying to beat.

I think the motto is im not ready to be in a relationship, I guess the fact I have reacted so badly is proof of that. I think I'm just scared as I tend to react very badly to change and feel like hiding away now, not going to work etc, but I know this won't help,

thanks again for replies, Emma xx

[olderfella]

She aint worth getting upset over Emma,if she can betray you like she has she does not desevere you,although it may not seem like it now its good riddence to bad rubbish keep your chin up girl your worth 2 of her:)

[ditzygirl]

Don't change you hun, we all deal with change in a different way. And you will know wen you are ready for a relationship - you'll see.

In the meantime please be reassured that i bet we all suffer from the "stigma" of anxiety and depression, but IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE, you are not alone!!!!!

Take one day at a time - I hope you feel better soonx

[emmajamma]

Sooo today I have done exactly what I dreaded doing, nothing! I didnt go to a group I attend, or go to work. Instead I have stayed in bed sleeping most of the day. I know this is totally the WRONG thing to do from past experiences but I seem to not care right now.

I was trying to explain to my mum how I feel, and I think a big part of why I feel so rubbish is as this whole experience has reminded me how 'unwell' I am.

You know like when u have a good patch and then bam something like this happens and instead of getting on with life (like I presume other people would be)u are hit hard and withdraw from life. xx

[ljd]

Hi,

Its understandable how your feeling let down by someone you trusted for so long, im sorry this has happened to you. dont be hard on yourself she obviously is not worth it. Its hard though when you thought you could trust someone and this is what happen try and think ok she wasnt the right one but there will be someoune out there ofr you tc

[munkeyinblack]

hey,

just wanted to say dont worry about withdrawing being the wrong thing to do. we all cope in different ways and a day off from the world isnt so bad as long as its not a habit.

i think ur doing wel to realise all that you have and thought it hurt maybey it looks like uv learned some stuff about urself which when ur feeling better you will see has made u stronger.

sending hugs and hope u feel better soon .
munkey
x

[debs71]

Hi Emma,

Please don't feel badly or guilty about hiding away after this blow. It is perfectly natural for a WELL person to feel they want to do that let alone someone with depression/anxiety. Though my depression is not as much of a problem as my anxiety at the moment I still have black days and can't venture out of my bedroom and it is nothing to chastise yourself for hun.

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that getting up out of bed and trying to keep active helps a lot as all the well meaning doctors/literature, etc etc say, but it is very hard when you have a blow like this.

Things will get better I promise you. I totally understand how you feel and am thinking of you.

Debs.xxx:hugs::bighug1:

[emmajamma]

Hi, thanks for your replies. Yeah today I made it into work, my boss is aware of the situation (depression/anxiety)and tries to help in a jokey way. I guess to summarise this whole issue has reinforced how vulnerable and 'messed' up mentally I am. I dont mean that in a bad way, as i have said I don't see anything wrong with having mental health problems I guess it just hurts me more when something happens than it would any 'normal' person.

Thanks for listening, xx