not really helping myself

[jemjam]

Its sunday night, should be coming back from visiting friends in london but instead im at home with my husband, because yet again my anxiety has taken over. We even got to the point of being in the car but my husband could tell i didnt feel right, not only anxious but feeling pretty tired and out of it, think it has something to do with the antidepressants, just started on 20mg from 10 about a week ago and feel quite zombie like. My husbands really understanding but i feel bad because we organised to see these friends weeks ago and i feel like im stopping my husband from living his life. Im signed off work at the mo for anxiety, basically get anxious going to work, at work- have had to leave several times because of anxiety attacks and as you can tell i have social anxiety in regards to seeing friends, going out socialising etc. I also have to admit i have a bit of a problem with drink. Im 27, dont drink every day but think iv got a problem with binge drinking. Basically every other night, as long as im not working the next day, i drink and i dont know when to stop, I drink doubles of whisky and coke so i reckon in one night i could easily drink 8 of those, maybe even more, i dont even know, i pretty much drink til i fall asleep. I dont know why i do it, but i was saying to my husband i feel like rather than making me feel depressive i always feel in a better mood when im drinking, i spose its like a vice that i can turn to. I realised how much i rely on it when the other night my husband pointed out how much i drink and maybe i shouldnt drink on that night, well the thought of not drinking was horrible, i was agitated and all i could think of was having a drink, in the end i had about three so not as many as i normally have. Thing is ill drink on my own, if my husbands at home ill drink when hes not, and when hes away ill drink on my own so thats probably not a good thing that im happy to drink by myself. I dunno, i havent told my doc cos i think hed go mad and tell me thats the reason for my anxiety, and when i go to the counsellor theyve organised im scared to tell them too cos you never know if itll get back to work- counsellor will be organised by our occ health. If anyone else is going through a similar thing id appreciate hearing from them xxx

[paula lynne]

Hi Jem I toohave missed out on so many family get togethers, holidays, sports days....and like you, began to drink. For "confidence" I told myself. Drinking every 2/3 days, then binging..ultimaetly messed me up..spend whole days on sofe..ok the next day..then binge. I found a local charity which helped, I wonder if theres something available in your area? Youve obviously recognised this is having a detrimental effect on your anxiety...so you need to address it.
Your hubby sounds like a support, mine too. Im so lucky.
You can survive this, and Im sure your anxiety will reduce enormously as a result. All the best to you hun x:hugs:

[ditzygirl]

I love to drink wine and used to use it as a prop for my anxiety, infact i thought i was dependant and one of my anxieties was the state of my liver.

A couple of months ago i gave it up as i got meds for my anxiety and the alcohol and meds don't mix, you will feel dreadful, its dangerous and kinda defeats the object of the meds.

Giving up the wine was much easier than I thought, but more importantly i am managing the anxiety better without the wine, my skin is better and I am not depressed. I also have a lot of stress going on in my life but I am managing it better with a small amount of meds, eating healthily, exercise and no drink.

Please don't think i am judging you or lecturing you - i've been there and understand completely.

If you are worried about ur drinking come clean to your GP - he won't go mad, he is not allowed to judge you and can probably help you give up. Alternatively contact a support group.

I am now convinced that alcohol was making my anxiety worse - I'm just sorry I buried my head in the sand for so long.

If your friends are true friends come clean and tell them what is going on and how your feeling, they might be the support you need right now.

In the short term it might be tough giving up the alcohol but the longer term effects will make it worth while.

I hope this helpsx