crazyhayz
18-10-10, 11:11
as this little moveable, pea-sized lump in my neck STILL hasnt gone. I think it must be a node, as my groin ones are right up on the right side, and also my armpit aches so there must be one coming up there now too. Ive had them for ages and they arent going away. Ive had no infection or been ill, nothing. I dont have any other symptoms of lymphoma cancer but obviously im that 1% of people who get it without symptoms :/
I just dont know wot to do, i dont wanna be fobbed off with 'oh its a node, give it a few more wks to see if its goes!' ive been waiting long enough, and its starting making me have panic attacks again :( The one in my neck is noticeable from just looking at me, as it pokes out slightly, its only about 1cm though, maybe 2cm. It doesnt hurt or anything. Neither do the ones in groin. I would like a biopsy but i dont think they will give me one coz im not displaying any other symptoms!!
Ive had blood tests done, all normal. I even had one called LDH, thats specifically tests for any sinister cancers that may be harbouring inside the body, and is effective with possible lymphoma cancers, but the consultant stupidly said the LDH blood test is not always effective and can give false negatives!! (he didnt know i suffered HA) of course when i got the negative come back, it didnt rly make me feel that much better :/
Thing is, i get dizzy and balance problems, aswell as weakness in both arms. I knowwwww this can be anxiety, but ya cant help but think its all related can u lol.
What do others think? Is this cancer? Im 23, and bloods are normal so thats wot im holding onto, but i get awfully pain in my neck where the lump is and now pain in the stomach and armpit (no feelable lumps tho) but i keep thinking some are coming up there now too!! So its all just getting worse, not better!! if it was infection or virus, then it wouldve gone by now surely!!?? Im fed up with worrying and panicking, should i get to the doctors and demand a biopsy??
xxx
PS. on a more positive note, i found a page on the net about depersonalization and its effects. To all those who have read my previous posts about being worried coz of my sense of touch goes strange and changes all the time, especially when im panicking but also get it badly when im not anxious, well this page states that a symptom of depersonalization can be 'objects feel strange to the touch'. This is exactly it!! When i hold things they just feel weird, like ive not felt the object before, its hard to explain.. but i feel sooo much better about this symptom now ive read that :)
I get awful depersonalization and derealization, where i feel like my arm is not part of me and is dead or numb, or i think i cant feel it attached to me, its so weird!! I also see the world differently somtimes, like my surroundings feel unreal and like a dream, or i look at things and i wonder if its real as it looks unfamilier... another good bit of this page was that it said u can look at someone and there face suddenly becoms unfamilier like u dont know them and it can totally frighten you, well i had this a few months back with my fella, i just looked at him and his face looks weird like a weird man i didnt know.. and i had a huge panic attack. Itsworried me ever since. But now now :) I feel alot better about things since ive read that page :)
The weakness and constant stretching is probably due to the tension and depersonalization coz my arms and legs 'feel' weak/dead, but i can still move them, and still have strength, so this proves its just a feeling, and not an actual weakness. Sorry to bore u all i just had to let this out coz i do feel much better. Shame about these blimmin' lumps though :(
xxxx
I just dont know wot to do, i dont wanna be fobbed off with 'oh its a node, give it a few more wks to see if its goes!' ive been waiting long enough, and its starting making me have panic attacks again :( The one in my neck is noticeable from just looking at me, as it pokes out slightly, its only about 1cm though, maybe 2cm. It doesnt hurt or anything. Neither do the ones in groin. I would like a biopsy but i dont think they will give me one coz im not displaying any other symptoms!!
Ive had blood tests done, all normal. I even had one called LDH, thats specifically tests for any sinister cancers that may be harbouring inside the body, and is effective with possible lymphoma cancers, but the consultant stupidly said the LDH blood test is not always effective and can give false negatives!! (he didnt know i suffered HA) of course when i got the negative come back, it didnt rly make me feel that much better :/
Thing is, i get dizzy and balance problems, aswell as weakness in both arms. I knowwwww this can be anxiety, but ya cant help but think its all related can u lol.
What do others think? Is this cancer? Im 23, and bloods are normal so thats wot im holding onto, but i get awfully pain in my neck where the lump is and now pain in the stomach and armpit (no feelable lumps tho) but i keep thinking some are coming up there now too!! So its all just getting worse, not better!! if it was infection or virus, then it wouldve gone by now surely!!?? Im fed up with worrying and panicking, should i get to the doctors and demand a biopsy??
xxx
PS. on a more positive note, i found a page on the net about depersonalization and its effects. To all those who have read my previous posts about being worried coz of my sense of touch goes strange and changes all the time, especially when im panicking but also get it badly when im not anxious, well this page states that a symptom of depersonalization can be 'objects feel strange to the touch'. This is exactly it!! When i hold things they just feel weird, like ive not felt the object before, its hard to explain.. but i feel sooo much better about this symptom now ive read that :)
I get awful depersonalization and derealization, where i feel like my arm is not part of me and is dead or numb, or i think i cant feel it attached to me, its so weird!! I also see the world differently somtimes, like my surroundings feel unreal and like a dream, or i look at things and i wonder if its real as it looks unfamilier... another good bit of this page was that it said u can look at someone and there face suddenly becoms unfamilier like u dont know them and it can totally frighten you, well i had this a few months back with my fella, i just looked at him and his face looks weird like a weird man i didnt know.. and i had a huge panic attack. Itsworried me ever since. But now now :) I feel alot better about things since ive read that page :)
The weakness and constant stretching is probably due to the tension and depersonalization coz my arms and legs 'feel' weak/dead, but i can still move them, and still have strength, so this proves its just a feeling, and not an actual weakness. Sorry to bore u all i just had to let this out coz i do feel much better. Shame about these blimmin' lumps though :(
xxxx