View Full Version : The fear barrier of going out/travelling
This issue has affected me for months but there's been spells I managed to have low anxiety and go out not too bad.
But I feel very safe indoors in my home, only thing I can do care free is work. The last few weeks I'm a bit scared of going out again...
It feels like this as I had a panic a few weeks back: I feel weird/surreal, I have a massive rush or rushes where I feel I am going mad, instead of normal thoughts all I can think about is hospitals or going mad and I find it difficult to distract with surroundings as the feelings are quite intense. I had an attack before work yesterday and was very close to going home which would have been bad. I'm a tad worried as the feelings at the moment will make me just up sticks and ho home if it becomes too much. But when I came home from a night out..guess what? I was as good as fine.
I backed out going to the town last Friday was I was worried how I'd feel. I have been told it is depersonalization numerous times though my old therapist said when I had an attack it usually panic back then I was to stay in the situation..I eventually managed to but always been prone too "too much anxiety" to stay indoors. But realistically I can't live my life like that.
When I was out last time I started to feel funny I was like I'll see it out hoping it would go but I sat for 5/10 minutes and I felt worse and worse. When I get the weird sensation when out it creates a surge of adrenaline I reckon it's the adrenaline that sends me home. I think it's like a fight or Flight response. I understand the symptom, I accept it's anxiety however the feeling continues to scare the living day lights out of me.
I can't even say what helps to keep me in the situation because very little does. Right now I keep thinking "How weird is life" just everything on the planet seems surreal and strange maybe more DP?
Just wondering if anybody's had any successful techniques to deal with this? Do I have to really force myself to stay out or get out? Any help would be appreciated as I want to travel on a plane to see relatives down south later this year and I can't find the power to book it as I am worried about the way I feel.
Hi Phil
This is definitely, definitely the "fight or flight" thing. Unfortunately for us modern humans, we get the same hormone surges as prehistoric man used to get when he was being chased by a sabre-tooth tiger. :)
It does go away, but like everything else linked with anxiety, the more you feed it, the worse it gets. And of course, if we avoid doing something because of it, the only thing that happens if that it comes back to bite us on the bum the next time.
However, flying creates more than one problem, as of course it's a combination of being confined, but also having to hand over control of your life to the stranger who's going to fly the plane. This one is obviously scary for a lot of people (including me; I hate flying). How about going on the train? OK, it takes longer, but you could at least break your journey if you start to feel really anxious.
Hi Phil
This is definitely, definitely the "fight or flight" thing. Unfortunately for us modern humans, we get the same hormone surges as prehistoric man used to get when he was being chased by a sabre-tooth tiger. :)
It does go away, but like everything else linked with anxiety, the more you feed it, the worse it gets. And of course, if we avoid doing something because of it, the only thing that happens if that it comes back to bite us on the bum the next time.
However, flying creates more than one problem, as of course it's a combination of being confined, but also having to hand over control of your life to the stranger who's going to fly the plane. This one is obviously scary for a lot of people (including me; I hate flying). How about going on the train? OK, it takes longer, but you could at least break your journey if you start to feel really anxious.
I had been more use to the fight or flight response being more associated with panic, hyperventilation but only recently discovered the adrenaline can accompany it's self in other symptoms.
I enjoy flying to be honest but it's more the issue of leaving the house and going a distance so not sure train will help either. Though I have travelled more than an hour on a train recently but was ready to not go on it too.
..And I don't even know what I am scared of the feeling alone can create fear and I some how feel safe at home. I know the recovery is feeling as safe at home as outside but maybe it requires a bit of exposure to go out. :blush:
There was a post I read a few months back about scared that you are actually alive:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=71080
This is how I feel is it also depersonalization? Everything seems big, strange, my eyes are weird too. I get adrenaline rushes like I'm alive, or what is life.
I'm a bit worried as I just feel the urge to stay in, I got no sleep last night due to panic. Worryingly my anxiety is very high for little reason I'm on propranolol and even the racing heart is coming back.
With no actual stress right now why am I being pounded by this? I honestly feel I'm dying here all the time with these awful symptoms. :weep:
Hi Phil, my biggest and most distressing symptoms is depersonalisation/ derealisation. I think it is very common to have "exsistential" thoughts with these symptosm, eg, questioning life, yourself, everything. It is just deep analytical thinking but bloody horrible. I agree that at times I feel afraid to be alive, to be in my own mind and when i think of the "self" it scares me. I guess it is due in part ot constant anxious introspection. A few months ago I was very scared of going out- however i then started to experience feelings of dp/ dr at home so there was not point in running back. I think what helps me stay in the situation is to tell myself I can't run away from myself, that these feeligns will pass ( though i rarely believe it at the time) and that I am strong and can cope. I sometimes also tell myself that i will take a diazapn in say ten minutes if I don;t feel any better.... usually this works and i push another ten minutes and i realise that the worst of it has passed. I similarily have thoughts of going insane/ ended up on psychaitric wards which at times feel so real and likely. I do feel for you and hope you can work through this. x
Hi Phil, my biggest and most distressing symptoms is depersonalisation/ derealisation. I think it is very common to have "exsistential" thoughts with these symptosm, eg, questioning life, yourself, everything. It is just deep analytical thinking but bloody horrible. I agree that at times I feel afraid to be alive, to be in my own mind and when i think of the "self" it scares me. I guess it is due in part ot constant anxious introspection. A few months ago I was very scared of going out- however i then started to experience feelings of dp/ dr at home so there was not point in running back. I think what helps me stay in the situation is to tell myself I can't run away from myself, that these feeligns will pass ( though i rarely believe it at the time) and that I am strong and can cope. I sometimes also tell myself that i will take a diazapn in say ten minutes if I don;t feel any better.... usually this works and i push another ten minutes and i realise that the worst of it has passed. I similarily have thoughts of going insane/ ended up on psychaitric wards which at times feel so real and likely. I do feel for you and hope you can work through this. x
That makes sense. I kind of got over it a bit over the last few months until the last few weeks but I had come to a feeling well I've known this place all my life, it's all familiar and suddenly it no longer scared me. I just come to accept it and going out was less scary. But for no reason atall I've stepped back into it and I'm trying all sorts to escape from this feeling again..:blush:
I agree absolutely with what Dahlia says. We can choose whether or not to avoid things, and obviuosly it might seem easy to choose avoidance. But avoidance brings its own sort of misery as it comes in a neat little package with depression, isolation and a lack of self-worth.
This is something I have to fight with as well, so I know where you're coming from. I know that in the grand scheme of anxiety illnesses I'm actually not too bad, as I can mostly function in the outside world. I have a reasonable job and do quite a few things. I've become very adept at hiding how I feel, which is how I manage. However, there are some things that I know I use avoidance to deal with, so I have to attack them bit by bit.
I agree absolutely with what Dahlia says. We can choose whether or not to avoid things, and obviuosly it might seem easy to choose avoidance. But avoidance brings its own sort of misery as it comes in a neat little package with depression, isolation and a lack of self-worth.
I read a chapter in CBT for Dummies today which says if you avoid things it gives short term relief but doesn't help long term as you have lots of tasks on your mind you have been unable to complete.
Absolutely - and the other problem with avoidance is that it makes us feel as though we've failed, we assume we'll fail the next time and it all becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well since posting last about this I've had many weeks just sitting in worrying. I started to read Claire Weekes help for nerves and attended a third session of counselling this week and it's given me a push to "just go out"..It's been hard but I can say since last Saturday I have been out the house for minimum of half an hour to an hour or two.
I think it's a touch of agoraphobia but tonight I had a situation where I felt scared to go out well usually I'd stay..nah I'm staying in but I went out as I had done a similar journey a few days ago...first few days I never felt much better but I felt half better tonight. Just basically saying I need to go out..
I'm not saying it's easy. Over the months I have discovered having a lazy week in just sets me back to old ways. I think a combination of the book and counseling makes a little more sense. I'm still hit or miss whether I relax or cut things like caffeine out though. I have been anxious today, getting depersonalization, worrying about going mad but I've just continued..which has not been really that nice either but eventually the feeling just eases off a little..or backs off.
So I just want to report that it's very difficult but I am at the moment going out..I'm not going too far yet but I hope I can some how work a way that I will do more and do it regular and have less fear..and hope these unreal and fatigued feelings start to ease off..I said for months about nerves running me down causing fatigue but never found much advice on it but the book was helpful.
I hate to say I'm better but the battle goes on. I'll have to get over this.
*Just finally I find I feel better a day or two after the therapy and reading but I feel more anxious as the days go on..so I have to find ways to cope on my own going forward without the daily advice.
Fantastic news Phil - I'm really pleased to hear this, it sounds like real progress. And you sound happier in yourself and more hopeful.
Dahlia :)
Beckyboo_83
15-01-11, 14:18
im in the same situation but i am trying to do step by step things such as going 4 meals, pubs still scared to death of the city centre where i live but hoping within the next few eeks i will be able to go in to town and enjoy shopping like i used to..
Feels like one step forward two steps back at times..today I went out to the shops and I was due to start work about 2pm but phoned in sick as I suddenly came down with diarrhea. It had come before I went to the shops thought nothing of it but then before work that and anxiety...Feel quite annoyed with myself because until December I never had a day off my current job since May..but it all went wrong when the snow came and I could not get in, one day I had anxiety so could not go in, another day I was genuinely sick over xmas and today the diarrhea all in the last 3/4 weeks. Kind of makes me feel well maybe I'm not coping too great?
I went to the shops today and I felt "I still feel strange"..just feel when will this stop? Positive is I'm going out but still suffering the uncomfortable feeling but reading books is saying it will take some time going out before it eventually eases this chronic fatigue and unreality stuff? :huh:
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