Family are making things a million times worse :'(

[87sal87]

I suffer from anxiety & depression pretty bad at the moment, it's been on & off for a long time now but it's been alot worse over the past year or so.

I can't help but think my family's mindsets & attitudes are holding back my recovery, even making things worse.
They're all very negative & don't cope with things in the best way.
My Mum tries her best but she is very depressed herself & can't stand my Dad anymore & they are constantly arguing/moaning about each other.
My Dad HATES his job & takes it out on us when he get's home. Nothing physical or abusive or anything, just making trouble/arguments, being a fowl moods all the time.

My sister is also very depressed & has been suffering from health problems for awhile now.
They're all very negative people who make me feel drained 99% of the time & with me already having troubles myself, it's getting unbearable.

Plus, I've always been the one who tries to keep the place upbeat, they don't have a clue to the extent of my problems because I'm always putting on a front or trying to help them out.

It is totally unbearable now but I don't see anyway out. :( I have no friends anymore & I suffer from social anxiety so I can't even get out of the place :( I have no job so I can't afford to move out.

None of my family are making any attempt to leave.... :(

I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel so lonely & desperate, I just can't see no way out anymore. I've never had any suicidal thoughts, not even when things have been really bad, but now, I've been thinking about it more & more...like that's the only way out :(

I've been to my doctor & he's just prescribed meds that I don't want to take...

I wake up in the mornings & instantly start crying because I just don't want to face the day...

What can I do? :( I just can't believe things have gotten so bad. :weep:

[oscar1]

I'm so sorry that your going through this. But the first thing I would suggest is giving the meds a go. You may not want to, but give it a few weeks and see if they start to work for you. If not, you can always go back to your doctor and tell him. Are you going to counselling or anything at the moment? If not maybe you should give it a go. It may help to have some one who is there to listen to you and to have someone who you can talk to about the way you feel about your family. Plus you can always come on here and post a message.

[87sal87]

Thanks Oscar.... :)
I have been seriously thinking about the meds just for some relief but I'm scared of the side effects. :( I don't know what to do really...

I'm on a waiting list for Counselling & CBT but the letter said it could take upto 6 months. :(
I'm not sure that would help anyway as I have a hard time opening up to people who I don't know...

Just feeling very lost & trapped :(

[lori1]

to 87sal87

So sorry you are feeling like this, please dont do anything stupid, i think oscar is right go and see the doctor, i think you sound like you are depressed. You wont realise how good life can be, until you look back on this time. We have all had those thoughts, and felt like that, we are all going through depression on here, and we are all here to support you.

Please go and talk to your doctor, you'll see in a few weeks you will feel so different

hugs, Lori x:yesyes:

[oscar1]

I just sent you a PM.

[87sal87]

Thanks so much lori & oscar for all the help & advice. :hugs:
It's just so appreciated because I have no one else to turn to, it's only putting down into writing like that what's made me realise how bad a state I'm in & what I have to put up with...
Something definately needs to be done. :(

[ditzygirl]

sweetie - the others are right, i don't like meds either but sometimes they are the only way to feel better. who can blame you for how you are feeling - there is an awful lot to cope with here.
you do have people to turn to - US, this site is fab and everyone is very supportive.

is it worth telling your family how you feel and why, in a calm manner I mean, maybe they have no idea how you are feeling.

Sounds like they could all do with some help. But from experience some won't take it. If I'm honest my mum suffers as I do, not that she'd admit it but her outbursts can be that of someone with depression and anxiety and my dad always used to be hard to live with in the winter. So my anxiety and depression are learnt and genetic to a point.

The meds might be a little tough going to begin with but worth it in the long run.

Good luck and we're here anytimex

[87sal87]

Thanks so much ditzygirl, this site has always been a god send to me! I even mentioned it to my doctor awhile back saying how much it's helped me. I'm forever thankful I found this place, I've forgotten how I even did. :/

Things are just so tough 99% of the time. My sister keeps saying that she feels 'something bad is going to happen' which REALLY isn't helping & has set me in panic mode....they have NO idea what they're doing...

[blueangel]

I agree with the others about taking medication; sometimes you need it to get yourself stable, to put yourself in a fit state to do practical things. I would have thought it's worth trying to get yourself on a waiting list for some talking therapy, whether it's counselling or CBT, as that would help you cope better. It sounds to me (although I'm no expert!) that maybe the social anxiety is the thing that you need to work on, as at least that would give you the option of giving yourself some space from your family.

[ditzygirl]

Can you persuade yur sister to go to see a GP, she may be depressed and is unaware of how her actions are effecting you.

Good luck and hang on in therex

[joannap]

when i am feeling down - i do feel more sensitive to others negativity but it really sounds as if you are ALL suffering - each in your own way and so your family members are probably trying to cope with their own problems and not really aware of your own.

i think that you need to start taking care of yourself more - stop being the peace maker and the "jolly" one and perhaps explain to them how you are feelnig - this is something i had to learn not to do and to be honest - it is not so much a case of blaming others but seeing how our own actions/ways of behaving have contributed to the situation too - i don't mean we should blame ourselves but if we keep everything in and always appear as if we are fine - we cannot expect others to know of our plight! use this is a learning time to realise how you have allowed yourself to get really tired and drained and to look after yourself and nurture yourself - there is no harm in taking medication - you can always stop it/come back off it if you feel it does not suit you but it will likely give you the lift you need x

[joannap]

sorry - meant this was something i had to learn to do (not do!) xx - that if you are the "coper" and try and hold everyone together and attend to everyone's needs but your own then you WILL burn out. don't let how down you feel scare you - it truly is because your mind and body are over tired xx

[xwildcatatheart]

medz may be scary and the side effects yh but once uv taken them a while u get used to them