How I manage my depression

[KK77]

I find helping people with depression the most challenging out of all the problems we face on this forum. Perhaps it's linked to the fact that I myself suffer with it and I know that there are times when no matter what anyone says or does that persistent feeling of hopelessness, despair and deep emptiness cannot be erased.

I sometimes try to analyse what it is that is causing this negativity. There are people worse off than me and although I have my problems and obstacles in life I don't think they are greater than the next person's. It's just a feeling of not wanting to carry on.

Indeed, over the last month or so my depression has slowly been creeping back. I have had thoughts of ending it almost every day. It may come as a surprise to many but it's the truth. But I've watched these thoughts come and go - just like you watch a film. Observe it all as an outsider. And while the thoughts are disturbing because I'd never "take" my own life, this "detached" attitude has been my saving grace for many years now.

And humour comes into it too: without it I'd most likely be dead. Not a defiant laughing in its face or taking the piss in a stupid way but the utter meaningless "importance" that we seem to attach to worldly "success" and the misery and stress it brings. And it's said that in every comedy there's tragedy...

This is how I manage depression. Take from it what you will. I have.

Finally, I believe that we all have inner resources that we never tap into. An inner core of steel we overlook when everything else around us falls to bits. That inner core will keep you sane in a world that is surely insane.

And perhaps our mission in life is to find that inner core of steel.

[ladybird64]

Agree with every word. :hugs:

[Nigel]

Hi Melancholia,

Well done for finding a way to manage that horrible depression, and beating the worst of it. I think your approach makes a lot of sense.

“There are people worse off than me and although I have my problems and obstacles in life I don't think they are greater than the next person's.”

Perhaps not in comparison; however, our problems are ‘Our’ problems, not somebody else’s, and I suppose that’s what makes them feel the most important.

“Finally, I believe that we all have inner resources that we never tap into. An inner core of steel we overlook when everything else around us falls to bits. That inner core will keep you sane in a world that is surely insane.”

I’ve often thought that myself. That there’s something deep within – a sort of survival instinct – that somehow keeps us going no matter what. I had a good friend who had been depressed and suicidal for years. There were times when things got too much and she was making plans, but she always seemed to say just enough to alert suspicion, or do something that thwarted her plans. I don’t think it was intentional. It was like on a conscious level her mind was set, but something deep within was calling out for help and desperately trying to cling onto life. I always thought of it as a little shining light still glowing amidst all that darkness and chaos.

Sadly, some people finally lose that inner strength too – ‘that core of steel’ or ‘shining light’ – and then there’s nothing...

Take care,
Nigel

[missy007]

Dear Mel

I am so sad to hear that you have been struggling recently. It can't be easy but you are such an inspiration on this site and you're wicked sense of humour makes me laugh out.

Take care and have a big :hugs:from me.

Lesley x

[ljd]

well done for finding a coping mechanism. everyone gets depressed some more that others and it hard to get out of but its alway useful to rely onyour inner strengths everyone has them you just need to search for them and use at ties when its really tough. its hard i know but you can only help yourself people can help you if you do too. tc

[Maj]

Oh Mel, I find it so difficult to hear that you are struggling with this horrible illness. There's nothing so depressing as depression, as Claire Weekes says.
I think YOUR inner strength is incredibly strong and you will always be a survivor.
Your sense of humour is such a positive thing and will ensure you will never go completely over the edge.
You have been such a tower of strength and support to me recently that I was unaware of just how bad you were feeling. I'm sorry.
I will repeat again that you definitely have the right attitude to manage and beat this illness, no matter how hard it is for you at times and how much you doubt yourself.
Without a doubt you have your own coping mechanisms and they will always carry you through. I don't dispute that for a minute.
Take care
Myra x

[bottleblond]

Hey Poppet

Everything you said makes a whole lot of sense. I know you struggle at times but i'm just so glad that you do 'manage' me fabulous mate.

You always make me laugh


Lisa
xxx
:bighug1:

[ElizabethJane]

:bighug1:Hi Alex. I'm sorry that you are feeling low. I'll always remember what one of the doctors in the hospital I was attending said to someone who was feeling bad 'Just remember if anything happens to you I can't be with you on the other side' I think that my own inner core of steel is my Christian faith and I know that Christ will be with me on the other side. I'm not thinking of going there yet. I've retreated into this space deep inside myself when depressed which is where I find God in the darkness and stillness. I know it is not everybody's cup of tea but my faith and my music has pulled me back from the edge many time. Often it is the monotony of depression and the debilitating symptoms that get us down. I'm sending a hug and hoping that you begin to feel better soon EJ.

[Idstain]

great post melancholia. i'm not sure if you realise it or not but that approach you describe there is what Buddhists call "equanimity" and is a big part of Buddhism.

a great way to "look" at anxiety/depression :)

[JT69]

Hi Alex,

Sorry to hear you are going through it...have sent you a PM.

Jo.xx

[KK77]

Thank you guys and girls. Your support and kind words are very much appreciated.

I don't think I could ever define the "inner core" that allows me to keep going. I don't think we ever lose it either - rather, we lose sight of it when all our focus is on the crumbling edifice of our lives. Attention for me is the key.

I know that for some people religion is their main focus of strength. I have studied meditation and mindfulness for a long time now and you're right Idstain when you say that there is this element in how I manage my depression. I also practice pilates and can't recommend it enough - along with all forms of exercise and activity - in alleviating not just depression but anxiety and panic too. Stagnation is lethal.

I will add more of my thoughts here soon...

Thanks again.

[KK77]

I had a terrible day yesterday (after a major row with someone) and I woke up feeling absolutely shite. Depression, anxiety, dread, rage, hurt all rolled into one... I thought "What's the point in even getting outta bed?" But then something came over me (in a good way lol). I thought, "No, f*** 'em..."

So I got out of bed, tarted myself up, put on my designer gear (Armani of course) and went out to the office with my head held high. OK, so the designer gear bit is superfluous but the "head held high" is the important thing...

NO ONE is better than you. They may think so, in which case let them, but know deep inside you that we are all equal - whatever your material circumstances may be.

Perhaps really believing that (not just saying it) is the key. No one can teach you this, but once you discover it no one can ever take it away either. Not for love nor money...

[shaggyowen]

fair shout im alot like that myself keep up the good fight people =]

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi Mel,

Sorry your feeling low, i will keep you in my prayers. hope you feel better soon.

Yvonne