need to sort myself out!

[ljd]

Why cant i sort myself out, i should know and be able to do this as its what i do in my job all the time help/support others in dealing with any problems they have. How can i support others and not use the advice i give for myself. Im fed up of being me, up and down. Why cant i just get on with things without making a fuss. sorry just a moan. just feel alone with it all, as noone knows how i feel.

[cattttt]

This rings a bell with me, it's not a moan, it's how I feel too! I work in a hospital and spend my days reassuring people and telling them they will be ok and we will all look after them-and inside I often feel like I'm losing it. Last week, I rang my counsellor at 8am, when she wasn't dressed or anything and had her come into town to sort me out-and then I came to work and spent the rest of the day sorting other people out, even though I didn't really feel like it. Maybe it makes us better at our jobs, because we know how people feel!

[blueangel]

I think this is a common theme. I also work for the NHS, and although I don't do patient care, I'm a trade union rep so spend a lot of time sorting out other peoples' problems.

The issue (I think) is that it's about how much we value ourselves - or rather, how much we *don't" value ourselves. It's "worth it" to give advice to someone else, but when we look at our own problems, it suddenly becomes too much hassle, and we end up not bothering about ourselves.

[ljd]

Hi catt and blue angel,

tahnks for replies kind of dont feel its only me now. I guess its easier to help others than it is to help ourselves. You can look at others froma different view but when your stuck in it its hard to step back and use the advice you give to others on yourself. Its just getting me down though and i need to snap out of this stupid mood ive got myself in.

[ems43]

this really strikes a chord with me, I also work with people suffering from mental health problems and feel that i beat myself up a lot for not being able to help myself ! As everyone keeps remining me ( my GP, psychiatrist, work colleagues) it is much easier to give advice that to take you own. Plus when you are stuck in the midst of your own mental health problems it is very difficult to see the woods for the trees.... we know the theory, but applying it to ourselves is the problem. I saw a great therapist once who told me of how when she had a breakdown she simply could not help herself and felt so angry that she knew exactly what she would do if a client of hers presented with the same problems.. yet was at a loss as to why she couldn't apply it to herself. it helps when i remember that. be kind to yourself, we are only human after all! xx

[ljd]

Hi ems,

thanks for the reply, its so frustrating though when we knoew what advice we give to others but for some reason you cannot apply it to yourself or if i do it doesn usually work. Guess im too entrenched in all and i useless at letting people in and know one knows me as such as i always hide how i feel. tc

[ems43]

ditto... they do say that people that work in the "helping professions" are often great at being nurturing of others and not of themselves. I too also put on a brave face, but its bloody hard work we do, and as my friend said too me when i got ill recently " emma you cant always be a sponge, taking in others problems and not expect it to have any impact". I may start to work with animals!x feel free to pm if you want x

[ljd]

Hi ems thanks again,

It is hard work and i guess i spend too much time helping others and noe enought time for me prob avoidence and scared to face things. It a pattern i have got into and i guess helpss keep it at bay i know im kidding myself cos it come sout in other ways!! Maybe one day ill get the courage to do something!! yeh animals may be a good idea to work with they cant answer you back and les complicated.. sometimes though we need a break and we cant help others if we are not taking care of ourselves. well tc your doing a great job.

[Bill]

Being a carer myself, I greatly admire and appreciate those in the caring profession who give so much of themselves to others in need. I honestly don't know how nurses cope because I know I would find it impossible not to allow patients suffering affect me emotionally.

Remember though, you are only human, you can only give so much. Remember to think of you and your needs, and time to enjoy the things you love doing because in all the world there are no professionals who deserve some happiness more than people like you who give so much to those in need.

Finances are important but caring nurses are priceless because they are the precious gems of this world and should always be treated as such!:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[jothenurse]

Thanks, Bill. That is nice of you to say that.

[ljd]

thanks bill im not a nurse though im currently training and working to be a social worker dont know hwy sometimes really epsecially when i cant sort myself out lol tc

[Bill]

If someone genuinely cares about others and they decide to devote their life helping those in need, it doesn't matter if they're a nurse or a trainee social worker, they are still thinking of others, and that makes them Special in this world where often gaining lots of money is put before the welfare of others so these "special" people should never beat themselves up for being what makes them who they are, and that most definitely includes you and many others on this site!:hugs:

[ljd]

Bill thanks for those kinds words appreciate it. Its not very often i hear kind words like that and im sure others would appreciate it too. It can be very demanding work and not always rewarding, well my job isnt so much and im not doing for money either, im doing it cos eventually i am hoping to go abroad and work in a community in a 3rd world country even if it means volunteering, which i keep trying to remind myself about to keep me going..tc

[Bill]

im not doing for money either, im doing it cos eventually i am hoping to go abroad and work in a community in a 3rd world country even if it means volunteering,

See:winks: I was right! You ARE Very Special and Don't listen to anyone who says otherwise!!!:hugs:

Never give up on your dreams because otherwise you'll deny people in need seeing just how Special you Are.....and I genuinely mean it!:hugs:

[ljd]

thanks again bill for the reply, im not special im just me and plod on although finding that hard to do just now. Hope to get some energy and motivation back soon. tc

[Bill]

Ok, I give in.:shrug: You're definitely NOT special!...I'll hold my hands up and admit I was wrong! :blush: You're just YOU!...

...a rose in a garden of weeds:flowers:...

Regardless of how you feel and what You think of yourself, Nothing you say will ever convince me otherwise even if you swore and told me to.....off!:scared15:

Give in yet?:)...

A Special Rose

In my rose garden of rare and special blooms,
I would plant you and circulate your scent throughout my rooms,
I would never idolise you but forever admire you,
For your empathy, attractiveness and golden hue,

Every petal of your being representing all your many wonders,
Shining brilliantly in the sunlight emanating a prism of beautiful colours,
Enhancing the numerous blooms with your special beauty,
Exuding your love and kindness with unadulterated simplicity,

An exquisite creation of so many yet so few,
Sprinkled in the morning with sincere droplets of dew,
Pristine and perfect protected by angel honeybees,
Exuberantly shielding, her happiness fills them with glee,

One angelic rose bringing warmth to this garden,
A joy to tend, held with fondness and appreciation,
Illuminating all those who approach her,
Treating all not merely as a number,

Distributing glowing compassion through all her glossy leaves,
Her scent of sensitivity wafting on the warm summer breeze,
Softly swaying, her petals gently flutter,
She radiates her kind-heartedness loving all as sisters and brothers.

Yeah, I know it's soppy but that's "Just Me".:blush:

[ljd]

awe thats so kind of you what a lovely poem. thanks so much for the support and vote of confidence in my job cos sometimes im not sure im doing the right things. tc

[Bill]

Follow your conscience, follow your heart and follow your dreams, and you will Never to the wrong things. You just couldn't anyway.:flowers:

"Believe" in yourself as much as I believe in you.

You have a very kind caring soul...that's obvious to see...I have faith in you and now you need to have faith in yourself to see the good in you which exists in abundance.

How can a princess with an angels heart ever do wrong?:shrug:

Watch this video and listen to the words...especially after 6 minutes has elapsed when there is a speech....and try to Believe in what is said!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7YhWIzd-gc :hugs: