BunnyMazonas
21-10-10, 10:11
So, my employers are incredibly supportive and helpful and willing to learn, which is fantastic, but the specific individuals helping me are a bit... inexperienced... at dealing with this stuff. I felt unable to go into work yesterday because thinking about being there was turning my emotional state upside down and, after thinking long and hard about it, I think I know what triggered today's mental imbalances.
Until my recent move to new meds (done because my old meds were giving me side effects and work were concerned about the amount of time off sick I'd had due to them) I hadn't SI'd in a long time. Months. My anxiety and other mental issues were much more under control. But the new meds are, whilst side effect free almost, not doing the job they were supposed to do. I SI'd twice in 4 days, once at work, was having night panic moments, was easily triggered, emotionally unstable, irrational and sleep deprived.
Since work are supportive I felt it important to let them know what was going on. They, understandably, wanted to talk to me about my issues. But it... was not the easiest conversation.
Manager: Can I talk to you about your email?
*takes me into a big, open, glass office where everyone on the floor could see I was going in with him*
Manager: So you SI'd at work yesterday. I need to tell you I am worried about you, we can't have this happening at work.
*Manager then asks, in rapid succession...*
what I used to SI
did I bring something in from outside of work
asked to see the SI itself
asked to see it a second time to get a better look
asked why I didn't come see him straight away before doing it
asked if I did it when he thought I was taking my break
asked if I did it when I went to the toilet
asked if I did it when I was at my desk
Later on, after finishing the rest of the meeting, Manager comes and finds me again, with HR lady. The HR lady wants to speak to me, so we go back into the same office again.
HR lady asks...
what did I use to SI
asks to see the SI
asks why I didn't go to my manager
asks why I didn't go to her
asks where and when I did it
asks why I did it
asks for an explanation of why I find it so hard to articulate why I did it
talks about how important it is that I not do this at work because "what if next time I take something to my wrists"
Now, the conversation also included a lot of positive things; questions about what they can do to help, arranging ways for me to alert them before I SI, arrangements of more work-funded counselling etc which is FANTASTIC. But... I'm sure you guys can all understand that the above questions especially left me feeling a little... overwhelmed shall we say? There were some tears from me during the whole meeting, and I was... okay but overwhelmed and a bit out of it for the rest of the afternoon.
I want to articulate to work that, their concern appreciated, certain questions are, perhaps, better not asked. I'm just not sure how to go about explaining it to them in a way that would make sense to them. I know that those questions are triggering, but they have no way of understanding this, as they admitted themselves, they have no experience of being or knowing anyone with these issues.
Any advice would be appreciated
***WELL ISN'T THIS INTERESTING***
Some time ago work wrote to my GP, with my consent, to ask for information pertaining to my meds and my issues, and to ask for advice. I did not see the letter they sent but they confirmed I would be given a copy of the response from the GP. No response has yet been received and work asked if I could call my GP to chase, since it would help to have that info with the disciplinary I've got coming up. Apparently, my GP hasn't responded because they felt some of the questions being posed were inappropriate and they refused to answer them! I've asked to see a copy of this letter now, but what on earth have my employers been asking about me?!
And now work are being evasive. I've asked to see a copy of the letter they sent to my GP. They are refusing to give me a copy today saying that they will "be happy to discuss theletter in the meeting we have scheduled for tommorrow", and when Ipushed thematter they advised if I "wanted to see my personnel file I could request it through theofficial channels". What on EARTH have they asked my GP?!
Until my recent move to new meds (done because my old meds were giving me side effects and work were concerned about the amount of time off sick I'd had due to them) I hadn't SI'd in a long time. Months. My anxiety and other mental issues were much more under control. But the new meds are, whilst side effect free almost, not doing the job they were supposed to do. I SI'd twice in 4 days, once at work, was having night panic moments, was easily triggered, emotionally unstable, irrational and sleep deprived.
Since work are supportive I felt it important to let them know what was going on. They, understandably, wanted to talk to me about my issues. But it... was not the easiest conversation.
Manager: Can I talk to you about your email?
*takes me into a big, open, glass office where everyone on the floor could see I was going in with him*
Manager: So you SI'd at work yesterday. I need to tell you I am worried about you, we can't have this happening at work.
*Manager then asks, in rapid succession...*
what I used to SI
did I bring something in from outside of work
asked to see the SI itself
asked to see it a second time to get a better look
asked why I didn't come see him straight away before doing it
asked if I did it when he thought I was taking my break
asked if I did it when I went to the toilet
asked if I did it when I was at my desk
Later on, after finishing the rest of the meeting, Manager comes and finds me again, with HR lady. The HR lady wants to speak to me, so we go back into the same office again.
HR lady asks...
what did I use to SI
asks to see the SI
asks why I didn't go to my manager
asks why I didn't go to her
asks where and when I did it
asks why I did it
asks for an explanation of why I find it so hard to articulate why I did it
talks about how important it is that I not do this at work because "what if next time I take something to my wrists"
Now, the conversation also included a lot of positive things; questions about what they can do to help, arranging ways for me to alert them before I SI, arrangements of more work-funded counselling etc which is FANTASTIC. But... I'm sure you guys can all understand that the above questions especially left me feeling a little... overwhelmed shall we say? There were some tears from me during the whole meeting, and I was... okay but overwhelmed and a bit out of it for the rest of the afternoon.
I want to articulate to work that, their concern appreciated, certain questions are, perhaps, better not asked. I'm just not sure how to go about explaining it to them in a way that would make sense to them. I know that those questions are triggering, but they have no way of understanding this, as they admitted themselves, they have no experience of being or knowing anyone with these issues.
Any advice would be appreciated
***WELL ISN'T THIS INTERESTING***
Some time ago work wrote to my GP, with my consent, to ask for information pertaining to my meds and my issues, and to ask for advice. I did not see the letter they sent but they confirmed I would be given a copy of the response from the GP. No response has yet been received and work asked if I could call my GP to chase, since it would help to have that info with the disciplinary I've got coming up. Apparently, my GP hasn't responded because they felt some of the questions being posed were inappropriate and they refused to answer them! I've asked to see a copy of this letter now, but what on earth have my employers been asking about me?!
And now work are being evasive. I've asked to see a copy of the letter they sent to my GP. They are refusing to give me a copy today saying that they will "be happy to discuss theletter in the meeting we have scheduled for tommorrow", and when Ipushed thematter they advised if I "wanted to see my personnel file I could request it through theofficial channels". What on EARTH have they asked my GP?!