so thats it

[leanne78]

well my council ling has now finished, do I feel any different no, I feel exactly the same as when I did when I started the sessions,

so now I am on my own, does depression ever leave us or will it always be there just waiting to rear its ugly head again, will I have ever feel normal again but then again what is normal ?

Have my issues been dealt with I'm not soo sure as I am being told i am still hiding behind a wall.

So where to I go from here ??

Just carry on with life and hope I don't get bad again. :unsure:

[Nigel]

Hi Leanne,

I’m sorry to hear that your counselling has finished and you don’t feel it’s helped. I’m sure you learnt something from it though, even if unaware of it.

“Have my issues been dealt with I'm not soo sure as I am being told i am still hiding behind a wall.”

Hmm... that’s one of the big issues, I think. I suppose the real progress starts when a person can trust somebody enough to allow them inside that wall... or better still, to have the courage to take a step outside of it.

Take care :)
Nigel

[ElizabethJane]

Hi Leanne if you feel that the counselling has been incomplete you could try getting some more for yourself? If you are able to pay then your GP should be able to recommend somebody? Some counselling organisations have a sliding scale for fees ie you only pay for what you can afford others are run by Christian organisations who will allow you to pay a little. There might be an NHS waiting list in your area for CBT or for psychotherapy it might be worth asking your GP to see if there is anything else available. For some people (true for me) depression can return and your GP will be best placed to help you deal with it hopefully with more counselling and/or drugs. Try to lead a fullfilling life and try not think that depression is round the corner. It might be. If you have suffered before hopefully you will have some of the tools to help you get well again. EJ.

[kibbutz83]

Hi Leanne, just wanted to say, you are certainly not alone... I was in group psychotherapy for over a year, and I don't think my "wall" even knew I was trying to "knock it down" :( For me the problem is that "the wall" has been there for so long, I don't know where I end and it begins! I think for some of the more ""deep rooted" psychological and emotional issues, therapy may not be the answer :(
It's a long hard slog I guess... and unfortunately it's normally a journey we can only take "alone"... meaning no-one else can "solve" it for us :( That's the bit that I find tough, as I wasn't the one who asked to be sexually abused and therefore "damaged" beyond recognition :(
Life sucks when there seem to be no answers.. sorry to go on Leanne :( Take care x

[leanne78]

Thank you for the replys, I not really sure how to step out from behind my wall thats my problem I don't like getting upset in front of people even my close friends, so I suppose thats why its there its my protection, if I don't take it down I can't get hurt again maybe its a trust thing,

[Idstain]

Hi Leanne,

i am sorry you feel this way. have you ever read this book? i am fortunate enough to have never suffered from depression but a close friend of mine has and he absolutely swears by this book.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Way-Through-Depression-Unhappiness/dp/1593851286/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1287769938&sr=8-1

take care :)

[Nigel]

Hi Leanne,

“...if I don't take it down I can't get hurt again maybe its a trust thing”

That does makes sense... but I suppose the other way of looking at it is that wall of safety can eventually become a prison. Do you think it might help to let just a few trusted friends in?

Take care :)
Nigel

[leanne78]

don't know how to let them in what do I say, they keep saying I need to confront stuff, but i think I have kept things buried I don't know how to unbury them

not sure if I am making sense

[Nigel]

Yes and no... :unsure:

Sometimes it’s necessary to confront stuff, but there are things that are buried for good reason, and they’re best left buried. It’s no use unearthing lots of painful stuff that cannot be changed.

“don't know how to let them in what do I say”

Only one person can really answer that, but I suppose you need to think about somebody you trust and feel comfortable confiding in – doctor, counsellor, good friend, family member... I don’t know. Someone you feel able to share some of how you’re feeling with. Some people find writing something down for the other person to read is a good first step.

I know there’s always gonna be that tiny element of doubt there – will that person let me down? – but nothing is ever certain. Sometimes we just have to take that leap of faith, and most times we’re pleasantly rewarded for our courage.

Take care :)
Nigel