They call themselves 'friends'?

[IsolatedMoon]

I need to just vent for a minute and figured I'd do it here... Maybe someone can relate.
I'm SO SICK and TIRED of people calling themselves 'friends' but only getting in contact with me when THEY want or need something.
Everytime I've needed somebody, even to just tell me everything will be ok, I get completely ignored and nobody is around, but when they need something they're all over me.
So tired of it!
I have NO real friends and I don't understand why!
All I ever try to do is be there for people the best I can and I treat people as I'd like to be treated...But all they ever do is walk all over me!
I'm fed up! :(

[ditzygirl]

To be honest I think real true friends are very hard to find and I don't think you are alone in not understanding why you dont seem to have many.

Don't change your attitude to life and others hun, I have your attitude too and like you get the raw end of deal but I still like being kind, warm and caring. I'm just a little choosy who I give my time too these days.

I do however have two fab mates - dont see them much as we live in opposite sides of the country but they are always there for me and i for them - that's true friendship and they dont come along very often.

Take heart, smile and be proud of who you are that is all that counts!!!!!!!

[debs71]

Hi IsolatedMoon,

I feel for you and can relate too. A few weeks back when my panic attacks and anxiety had peaked I was chatting with a long term 'friend' of mine on MSN messenger about what had triggered my symptoms and the way I was feeling. She proceeded to inform me that she thought it was - in her words - 'ridiculous' that I was feeling like I was and in her opinion, so were the triggers that had caused my anxiety.

I was very hurt by her attitude and said 'well thanks so much for your support' and cut short the conversation.

I was both angry and hurt as over a long period of time I have supported her through bad relationship problems and spent a lot of time being a good friend to her - babysitting her child when she was working, supporting her when she was having work problems, just the general 'being a friend' stuff. I have never demanded anything from her, and yet the one time I really need a good listener she lets me down.

I totally agree that there are some friends who simply are not real friends when push comes to shove, they are in fact, more like just 'aquaintances'.

This has happened to me before, and whereas I may have just tolerated it, things are different now and frankly life is too short to have people take advantage like that and treat friendship as a one way street.

I do however have a very good friend who has suffered depression and panic herself and she is always there for me and I her, but it is not all about mental health either which is great!

It is a big cliche, but you REALLY know who your real friends are when you are in desperate need.

Don't let them get you down hun. They are simply not worth the stress.

xxxx:hugs:

[Maj]

I think we all have fairweather friends, but your real friends are those who help and support you during a crisis. I've actually experienced this over the last couple of weeks when I've been in the depth of despair. Deep down you'll know who your real friends are. Someone once told me that if you worried about what a friend said or did to you then they weren't a real friend anyway. Don't let anyone elses selfishness bring you down x

[suzy-sue]

.True friendships weather the storms . Sadly , some people are takers, and others are givers .:lac:Its not that you dont have any true friends .Its just ,you havnt met them yet . .Sending you a big hug and im sure you will make some decent friends eventually .Maybe even on here ..Luv Sue x:bighug1:

[paula lynne]

I had over 200 people at my wedding...Im probably in touch with about 5 now...it hurt in the beginning...they couldnt handle my illness. But the 5 I have left are true friends. Surround yourself with positive people who genuinely care. They are the ones who matter x:winks:

[ell1877]

hi i dont seem to have any friends anymore to be honest i have people who call themselves friends just like you but a true friend is someone who will be there for you and help you out no matter what not someone who only contacts you when they remember your there or when they need something,i am in exactly the same boat as you only most people say they still have a true friend i dont,i have always been there for eveyone i would go out my way to help people and not saying im amazing or anything(im not)but they could always rely on me but i cant say the same about them its all take take take and it leaves you feeling lonely and angry doesnt it,none of us want to feel the way that we do
if they cant handle being on the outside of us god help us if thaey had to cope with what goes on in the inside lol
if ever you want to chat just let me know as i could do with it too
like everyone else has said they obviously arent worth getting down about maybe we will find true friends out there

:hugs:x

[Rennie1989]

Pfft, not worth your time! My friends are like that to me, only interested in the party animals that is always there for them when their boyfriends are being men, but as soon as I have a problem with my mental health they couldn't give a damn! I understand the frustration.

I know its nice to have friends in real life that yo can meet up with but we are all here for you and we will listen and understand you.

[IsolatedMoon]

Thank you all for replying... I'm so glad other people understand, makes me feel a little less down about it all!
Maybe I'll make some real friends soon :)

[shinderuko]

I'm actually very lucky and very grateful that my boyfriend is also my best friend and he's there for me all the time. But I feel bad everytime I burden him with my feelings but all my other 'friends' have just disappeared.
I moved away from where I grew up so it's been harder to see my friends, but before anxiety I was willing to travel to see them. In the five years I've been in my new town however only one friend has visited me, and that was only on two occasions. Now that I can't travel very far and trains are still a big deal for me though I don't see my friends anymore. If it was the other way round and they couldn't travel I wouldn't hesitate to make an effort. Shame my friends can't say the same ay??

[blue moon]

Hi All.
I moved to another country and left my One true friend,who is like an angel,I miss her.
Love petra x:weep: