New here, and scared to death :(

[amy3]

Hi, I'm 20 years old and I have two lovely kids, but anxiety is taking over my life! I suffered panic attacks after having my 1st child a few years back, but I have never felt anything like this before, it's disgusting.. I'm living in a nightmare!! It all started after my 2nd child and she's 7 months old now..I had cannabis one night as i'm usually anxious at night and have it to calm me down, and make me go to sleep.. What a mistake that was!! I had the worst panic attack EVER!! I was sat there on the computer as u would and I just felt this hot rush surge through my body from my head to my toe, my chest went tight and I was as white as a ghost. I completely lost it, telling my partner I loved him and to phone 999. I ended up phoning 999, and they come and checked me over and everything was fine. But i honestly thought I was having a bad reaction to the cannabis! and I was going to die. The paramedics told me it was just the cannabis and it will wear off. I was fine for a few days, and then I was out with a friend and this awful feeling come over me, like something really bad was going to happen, I let it pass me by, but as I got home I had a full blown panic attack again. The same as last time, it scared me so much cos it obviously wasn't the cannabis because I hadn't touched it that day. So there I was again thinking I was dying. I had to go to the doctors and he give me fluoxetine and for that week I was horrific! I had to stay with my grandma, as i felt that bad! I was constantly anxious and having panic attacks, and had such horrible thoughts! I've been on my tablets now for 3 weeks. It seems to come and go all the time. I can feel normal one day, then awful the next, i just dont understand?? I have totally convinced myself I am going to die! Every twinge I get I check my nails and lips and if they're a bit blue. I totally panic! and think OMG THIS IS IT! I'M GONNA GO! I don't understand why I have these feelings, as I have no reason to? I've just got a really big fear of dying.. as I dont want to leave my 2 kids and i dont want them to have no mum. xxx Sorry for rambling on but it feels good to get it all off my chest! xxx

[belgarion]

Welcome to the site. :)

Fearing death doesn't mean you are going to. We've all had that same experience an it's awful! I've been in an ambulance before too over this stupid thing that happens but there is no need to worry. Your fine. Don't fear the panic attacks and try a few tips you will find on here to help improve it. There isn't always a quick fix but if it's quite new to you it is very scary! Take your time and things will work out!

(if I can do it, you can too!)

[paula lynne]

Hi Amy, and welcome x
You are not going mad. I thought I was until I found this site, after 10 years of suffering alone....
Please read the left hand column, under panic attacks, a great place to start.x ood to know you x

[paula lynne]

good to know you even...these glasses clearly havent worked x

[crazyhayz]

That happened to me when i took cocaine one night. Phoned amublance etc coz thought i was dying. But was huge panic attack. Never had one before so was freaked out. Havent felt normal since if im honest. Therapist said drugs cant actually cause anxiety disorder but they can trigger it, like its already there sort of underlying if u know what i mean. Im not convinced tho and i do blv the cocaine done something to my brain that night, (apparently impossible as told by my doctor and therapist), only if i was abusing it everyday. (it was about the 8th time i had ever tried it over a period of about 3 years) so not alot atall. but anyway, these are simply panic attacks and nothing more. the more u worry, the more symptoms u will get and the fear of dying will ever increase. Trust me, ive been there hunny. Meds and CBT help, ask ur doctor for a referral for cbt. tke cre hun xx

[muzicdejay]

Hey Huni, Firstly Your NOT Going to die though i know it sure feels like it! I suffered from this for 3 years and used to think exactly like you! Mine just came on me one day at work NEVER had any problems before, i just felt a bit short of breath all day but didnt think much of it, anyhow that night i went bed as normall, watched a little tv then nodded of, just as i was drifting off i got this Horrific feeling that i couldnt breath, i sat bolt up right then started feelin dizzy & like i was goin pass out!
I got out of bed then my heart started pounding, i really thought i was having a heart attack, luckly i was still living at home then & mum had woke up cuz she heard me wreching in the toilet, i wasnt been sick but felt as tho there was something stuck in my throat & thats why i couldnt breath, anyhow, mum said i was as pale as a ghost & looked drained, she rang 999. ended up at A&E on heart monitor which was all normal, blood tests, all normal, etc. sent me home said it sounded like a panic attack.
I thought there was NO WAY it was this as surley it couldnt make u feel this ill.
as time went on it did get worse to the point i was still looking for other reasons why i felt like this, tried every thing, herbal, perscription drugs, etc, only thing that sort of helped was acupuncture & going the library (didnt have internet then) and getting every book they had on panic/anxiety disorders, it was just nice to know there were other people that suffered and that i wasnt goin mental, lol.
at some points i even wished i had something wrong like cancer or something cuz at least then id of had an explanation as to why i felt so ill.
Anyhow, it DOES get better hun, the more u learn about it & try to understand why we get it the better u might feel, i never really found a trigger that started mine but Im doing fine now, i still get anxious about stuff & then the shortness of breath comes but i know how to controll it now, do a few nice deep breaths & calm myself down & DONT keep thinking about it, try take your mind off it (I know its easy said than done) But U will get better.
Hope you fell well soon, jay, xx

[celia davies]

hello i was the same
iv got a three yr old an a five month girl and my anxiety seems 2 b comin back latley i think its having children it starts 2 worry u cause ur constantly worrying about leaving them or somebody else bringin them up i hate thinkin about death but were all in the same boat on here an i think knowing ur not alone will help u!
it helped me i havnt had a panic attack for a yr an half only since havin my little girl iv started feelin anxious again.things can set anxiety off like
alco pops if u drink they contain alot of suger an makes ur heart beat faster
energy drinkin takin pain killers they contain caffene
drinkin tea of coffe
anythin that makes the heart beat faster with cause a panic attack so just try an stay clear of these things an find somethin that relaxes u cause u need 2 stop sitting an worrying i used 2 do it all the time now i read an relax and i do find it helps u need 2 constantly b doin somethin 2 stop u thinking hope this helps cause i know it helped me x

[Garnie]

I know exactly how you feel. My panic and anxiety came back last week. (although Its been coming on for like 4 weeks)

I have had this constant fear of dying which was so bad it made me feel like i was having a breakdown. I spoke to the Samaritans, because was so scared and then i spoke to a vicar at a local church. Now im having a fear of getting older, and i cant stop freaking out about reaching 30. On top of that, i have just had that stupid cold thats been going round and i have a feeling of a constant lump in my throat. which im still trying to convince myself is not throat cancer.

I have no kids although i want them. I have a great fiance i love dearly. I dont have a job yet but im hoping i will lol.

I know this much: Anxiety can do alot of freaky stuff to you. Its scared the wits outta me, but i know its all in my head.(feels like theres a lot and too much chatter at the moment) and its gonna effect you in the worst ways. for me its
lump in throat
pain in back of neck
tight chest and chest pain (gone now)
lack of appitite
diareah
chesty cough
lack of sleep

i could go on. Iv turned into a major hypochondriac.

Iv started trying meditation. if you pop it on youtube for beginners, it might help to empty your mind from unwelcome thoughts.

hope you feel better soon xx