The begining of another nightmare?

[Borntoworry]

Hello to all fellow posters.

I have suffered with Health Anxiety now for 20 years since losing my dad to cancer.
The fear of getting cancer has blighted my life since. Every ache, pain and twinge brings days and nights of worry.
Now it looks possible I am going to have to relive this nightmare again with my mum.
My wonderful mum has an appointement at the hospital on tuesday.
Her symptoms all point to cancer. 4 out of 5 people that have this symptom are diagnosed with it.
I have no idea how I am going to cope. I am sitting her in tears, all ready in meltdown.
I am so scared for her, she is not a stong person either.
She lives on her own and I am thinking how an earth is she going to cope with her thoughts. She has already said to me it is a nightmare.

I have had about 6 hours sleep out of 48, scared how my family are going to suffer with me in meltdown.... how will I cope with work... how am I going to get time off to attend appointments with her but most of all terrified to see how she will cope with the possible news and leaving her alone in her little flat with the word 'C' going through her mind.

I have absolutley no idea how i am going to get through this, and the lasting effects again of seeing cancer possibly take it toll again.
I know I am going to go insane and have no idea where or who to turn too.
I don't have relatives that live close enough to call on for support either.

I can't cope.

[Maj]

4 out of 5 people are diagnosed with it - your mum may just be that 5th person! I really feel for you and what a difficult position to be in, but I'd wait until your mum actually does get a diagnosis because it may not be what you are dreading the most. I hope not. You talk as though you are very weak, but from what I can see you are actually very strong. You have come through all this to the bitter end and, difficult though it must have been, despite what you think you are actually a fighter! Many people would have crumbled under the strain but you are still going strong. You underestimate yourself, believe me. you will not go insane, you will cope. You always have done but you just don't realise it. Remember too that if it is the worst diagnosis then there are home and hospital supports for this and they should be there to help your mum be comfortable and reassured. Please let us know how your mum gets on and I'll be thinking about you on Tuesday. x

[ladybird64]

Hello :hugs:

Maj has given you very wise words hun, the one thing all us anxers do, regardless of what anxiety we suffer is to imagine the worst scenario.

Don't try and figure it all out now but wait and see what the results are, they may well be different from now you imagine.

If not there are lots of people who can help to support you to support your mum, you will manage because you have done for all these years.

Sometimes the insanity thing, the very thing that terrifies us in a roundabout way seems the easiest option, we don't have to "cope".

You won't go insane, I'm sure you will gets lots of support in the community and you can rely on support from us, all you need to do is post.

You won't be alone :hugs: Let us know how things go. xx

[Borntoworry]

Thank you Maj and Ladybird for your kind posts.

I have been trying to relax a bit more the last 24 hours after a terrible sunday morning.
Support from my husband has been great.
I will do my best to try and think more positive as hard as it is for us with the dreaded anxiety :mad: and I know I will grind all those around down with me.
xx

[Garnie]

its ok not to feel positive sometimes, i understand that your in pain and in a rut right now. Remember that theirs always a chance and you can battle through it. Not everything is doomed for failure.

Hope your ok xxx