cannot stop checking

[pete24]

Ijust cannot stop checking my stools and if its not perfect i check as much as 20 times a day.I have a dread of bowel cancer as i know 2 people died recently.Ialso know that there are other symptoms but i have tunnel vision and cannot calm down.I am starting to see things that really arnt ther iam sure.Am i going over some edge ?

[Rennie1989]

Bowel cancer symptoms are not in the stools but how you excrete them. If you are really concerned about it then you need to see your doctor.

[pete24]

hi rennie i have no other symptoms but how do you mean excrete them?

[Rennie1989]

If you have a regular pattern I which you excrete, with no changes to diet and no stress and axiety, it can be a cause of concern, and especially for those who are over 60. If you have no other symptoms then you should be fine

[alicegreen]

How do you mean that you are checking 20 times a day?
Are you going to the toilet that may times, or are you saving your stools to examine?!

[pete24]

i save on tissue to examine

[alicegreen]

It sounds to me more like an obsession than bowel cancer.

Have you any physical symptoms that would actually indicate anything pointing to a problem like blood in your stools, or a change in bowel pattern?

[Rennie1989]

Pete, unless you have equipment in the labs to test stools you won't get much information from simply looking at a stool, believe me.

[pete24]

It is an obsession i know as i have been like this for 18months plus but unless the stool is perfect i have to keep looking......i have tried just not looking but then i think i have suspious stain on my hands when i wash them afterwards.....or a mark on a towel after a shower then we change all towels to black ones and it just goes on and on...so that its not just going to the loo but afterwards i start doubting myself

[olderfella]

Pete you realy should go and discuss this with your gp,its not healthy to have an obsession like this,your gp would be able to sort out a lab test to reasure you you dont have bowel cancer

[pete24]

thanks for your replies....i have discussed it with my gp several times and just been offered pills

[westofengland]

you need to stop checking, this is classic reassurance seeking which will only make you more anxious. I know as I do the same. My mum recently got diagnosed with Bowel Cancer so I am about double the risk of getting it, but here's what I do to avoid it

* Eat a healthy diet with lots of fibre
* walk a lot (exercise helps prevention)
* they think a daily aspirin helps too but talk to your GP

You can start screening from the age of about 60. But it sounds like you, as me, have a problem with excessive anxiety and OCD than bowel cancer

I am trying to LEARN TO TOLERATE DOUBT, none of us can be absolutely certain about our health
Recognise you have a problem too. Checking stools lots of times a day is not rational, and as a previous poster said, it wont show you anything as the blood in stools is not always visible to the naked eye. That's why the NHS screen it with a microscope

Good luck and believe you can get over this

[pete24]

thank you westofengland and am sorry you are in the same boat as me...as i know what you go through.Idont know about you but i know when i check that there is nothing there really but i get into a mad cycle of not being rational.Ithink i would know if something was relly wrong but i have dug myself into a big hole with this and cannot see daylight

[bronte]

Hi pete24 i have been exactly the same but checking really does feed our anxieties and if your like me you can be convinced you have seen blood when actually it isnt as it is most proberly some thing we have eaten. I got to the point where i wouldnt eat anything red in case i saw anything red in my stool. I have stopped looking down the toilet now as much and it was very very difficult at first but you can do it and if im overly anxious i will look at the tissue on the last wipe. But i am trying to stop that and dont save the tissue to look at through the day you are torturing your self ive done that as well .I also have ibs which feeds my anxiety about my bowels as well and i have ocd so the checking bit is very hard for me but please try .You will feel anxious not checking at first but it does get better send me a message anytime and i will help you as much as i can but you can do it honest. I still have days where i find it very difficult and proberly will for a long time i dread going to the toilet sometimes but its getting easier so please try x

[pete24]

thank you bronte your words meant a lot.I went through the stage of avoiding red food,until a doctor[not my gp]told me red in stool is not a problem but black[coal black]stools can be suspicios[but even that might be excessive iron in diet].he said also that stoolchange is last symptom you get and you will feel ill long before that.Hope that makes sense as misinformation is dangerous.Doctor said basically you will know something needs attention long before you see stool colour change......but old habits die hard and taking my own advise is impossible with HA X

[bronte]

hi pete24 i have health anxiety ive put myself through alot of invasive tests because of it and i also have ocd which makes the checking part worse so i know how you feel but its not impossible to stop. If you think it is you have failed before you have started ive had cbt therapy which can be helpful. But what i did was go to the toilet with the light off and wash my hands after with the light off and if you can pull the flush while your sat on the toilet do it if you have a blind in the bathroom pull it down so your in darkness and cant see anything in the toilet your hands ect x

[MidnightCalm]

I also check all the time, I've only ever dissected it once though, whenever it looks like blood it never is and any blood I have had can be put down to piles or fissures.

[pete24]

thanks bronte....i tried what you suggested a while ago[i try to outthink it all the time]but what happened was that when i used the sink later and any mark or stain would have me rushing to the loo....sad i know but the goalposts keep moving x

[pete24]

Thanks for replies

[westofengland]

Nobody can guarantee you won't get bowel cancer. Nobody can guarantee you won't get hit by a bus or the earth won't get hit by a stray asteroid

your problem is not bowel cancer it's OCD. I used to panic about bowel cancer, no I panic that I and the kids got exposed to asbestos when we were having some house work done and we are all going to die of uncurable lung disease

Nobody can GUARANTEE that won't happen. But it's unlikely. That's the best most of the population can do, and that's what people with OCD having trouble accepting - uncertainty

Hence the compulsive reassurance seeking. It never ends but I think you can dampen down the anxiety a bit. I don't have space or time to list all the things I have worried about over the last 5 years

GOOD LUCK AND STOP CHECKING

[bronte]

westofengland i have ocd and i totally agree with you it is the uncertainty and the compulsion to keep checking for reasurance that feeds our anxieties your spot on

[fightingmyself]

Although only just registered, I'm a health anxiety expert, i've been getting better at getting anxious for 6years now. I take meds, and have recently started cbt, although i've done this cycle before, quitting meds and returning to health anxiety.
Ive been told what i shouldn't do, check, seek reassurance, google, behave as though ill, avoid triggers etc...... and nothing that I should do.

I too have been checking stools, chest, testicles, nostrils, mouth, nose, throat and am terrified of cancer. If I had a heart attack in the next minute i wouldn't care, its the thought of a gradual terminal decline, and leaving my child without a dad. A heart attack in my mind is unavoidable, whereas cancer might be preventable if i'm vigilant so I feel I need to keep on top of everything.
Like others I feel much better at night, but dread waking up as no matter what I do, i will find something to be anxious about.
Went Drs yesterday, mentioned at least 5 different things, found 2 new worries today.
I understand that anyone can become ill, that doesnt help. I've pushed my wife away by constantly asking for reassurance. I recognise that I have health anxiety and misinterpret everything wrongly, I understand this, but i still do it. I twing here or there and i'm prodding again, although logically I know it makes things worse.
Health anxiety stinks.

[bronte]

hi fightingmyself my fears are like yours i fear cancer more than anything and if i had a choice of dying from a heart attack in the next year or cancer in the next 20 years i would chose heart attack i watched the decline and death of both my parents with cancer and wouldnt want my children to have to witness me go through that as much as i wouldnt want to have to go through dying with cancer it has scarred me for life even though both my parents didnt suffer like some poor people do

[fightingmyself]

Thanks bronte. My mum got over cancer 13 yrs ago, but my grandad although old has terminal lung cancer.
It's what too do which is the problem. If I automatically check something, what do you turn that into?
I know checking makes things worse, but what do you do instead, just sit and tell yourself you are being silly?
I can logically say that the probablilty of cancer is small, but I don't believe myself.

[pete24]

how apt your name is fighting myself because thats all i do everyday.Peple who do not have HA do not really understand because i dont.I do things now i would not have done 2years ago.....but still do it because i dont want to sit and stew over something when its easier to check.....althogh i know in the long run i am digging a bigger hole

[bronte]

thats it though pete24 the problem with us ha sufferers is we cant live with uncertainty we have to know there and then that we are ok and unfortunatly thats not always possible which makes our anxiety reach to unbelievable heights it can ruin our lives and it does doesnt it .

[amandy1979]

hi there, i have a similar situation to you with lumps bumps etc checking every 10 mins or so, i am now beginning to get help from a mental health nurse im not sure how it works yet but im guessing they have some help to offer as he told me i will get better soon so it may be an idea to talk to gp. I know from experience that the checking and worrying is sucking all the fun and enjoyment out of all the things i used to like to do.

[pete24]

Spot on bronte....i need to know now if anything is wrong and you cannot calm down.....HA is sh-te