View Full Version : Confused!!!! meds or not?
Hi Guys!!
Well I have been suffering with agoraphobia, panic attacks and anxiety badly for over 3 years now, having ups and downs all without meds. I have been lucky and have had a huge amount of therapy including counselling, cbt etc etc and a bit more cbt which I'm still having!
I do know inside out what I should be doing but when I get into a panicky situation that I do know I start by having the negative thoughts etc etc the feelings get so intense I cannot cope or I cope but with such a struggle and then got so so upset and frustrated with myself that I didnt do it without any anxiety. Now I should praise myself for doing it and getting through it but as its been going on and on now Im getting to the point of sorta giving in and thinking maybe I should try meds to help me, even though putting a pill in my mouth will probably stress me out even more lol phobic of meds too :-)
Maybe its me thinking wrongly but if Meds do help like they should then why is there so many people still on here suffering while on medication, thats whay Im struggling with I think? All the hassle of extra anxiety taking them to start with, then sorta feeling better then not, then tryin to come off them and having more anxiety and stress and upset??? God is it all worth it, then I say well maybe yes as I'm not getting any further really not taking anything?? I'm so fed up with trying to cope with all this anxiety, maybe Meds is my only way forward????
Trouble is maybe having too much therapy one therapist tells me stear clear of Meds, then one says they help you??
Anyone sorta understand what I'm trying to say or feel the same as me???
I do know Im not gonna die if I panic, but the fear is so bad that I just cannot seem to move on
Yours confused :shrug:
Hi Simon, I've been down the same route as you, and I choose not to take them... but you have to just go with your "gut instinct", rather than what other people tell you :) Does that make sense? Anyway, I wish you luck :)
Maybe its me thinking wrongly but if Meds do help like they should then why is there so many people still on here suffering while on medication,
Simply put, I feel meds "can" help to ease symptoms but they don't actually cure anxiety. There's alot more to it involving pros and cons but if you picture yourslf in front of a lion, would a med stop you feeling afraid of being eaten? I would imagine not...and that's why meds aren't normally a cure because we're trying to block out "fear" by using meds which you could say is like trying to avoid ever sneezing. Both occur naturally and neither do any harm except a sneeze will do more harm by spreading germs!. It's just that instead of sneezing all the time, we feel fear all the time. Anyway...
I wrote the following thread a few months ago but I thought I'd copy it here for you in case it was of any help to you. I know it only covers one issue regarding meds but I'll see if I've written any other threads before typing too much...........
Why do meds stop working?
When I became "ill" with anxiety I was offered a med which for a short while helped ease my symptoms and lifted my mood but then the benefits would wear off which meant I'd go back to my doctor who would up my dose to the limit until that too lost it's effect so I would then try another med and so on. It meant that I tried a variety of meds, both the old such as diazepam and the new such as prozac, sertraline etc. Eventually I decided I'd had enough of them and wanted to try to go without which on the whole I've managed except when I lost my dog around Christmas when I felt I needed something just to help me through the loss as he felt like my best friend who kept me going.
Anyway, picture this...
One day you get up feeling fine and go to open the front door when you are suddenly confronted by a lion staring at you. Immediately you feel terrified because you fear he'll eat you. You start shaking, sweating, you feel you can't breathe and start to panic.
The lion then runs away but you decide to go and see your doctor because you feel so shaken up and afraid that you feel you need something to make the anxious feelings go away. The doctor then prescribes some meds and after you've got used to them you feel much better.
One day the lion returns but you don't feel so frightened by it because you're now taking your meds and you know now that the lion won't harm you anyway, and again he runs away.
After a few weeks, one morning you open the door again only to be confronted by a big spider! Again you feel terrified because unlike the lion, you're not sure what it'll do to you. Maybe he'll spin a web to eat you later so you start worrying and this worry gets so intense that you start feeling really anxious again. However, the spider crawls away and doesn't bother you. You then think to yourself you're now taking meds so you can't understand why you felt so ill with the spider when they worked ok previously with the lion? Maybe the meds have stopped working?
You decide to go back to your doctor who advises increasing the dose to the maximum and you go back feeling relieved that this will now stop the symptoms.
The next morning you open the door and yet again there's the spider waiting for you. However, you're now on your increased dose and you know the spider will crawl away anyway so your anxiety doesn't feel as bad as before.
After a few more weeks, you find yourself confronted by a swarm of bees! You feel terrified they'll sting you and all your anxious feelings return. Again you think to yourself, you're taking these meds but they seem to have lost their effect so you end up back at the doctors who this time advises changing the meds to a new type.
You go home feeling content that you've got things settled and maybe these meds will be more longlasting and suit you better. However, within a few weeks you open the door to find the lion, the spider and the whole swarm of bees there to greet you...and you start to panic!...and thinking will it never end!?!:weep:
Now think of the lion as stress at work, the spider as stress at home and the swarm of bees as all your worries and intrusive thoughts then combine them all together and they create "fear".
We are sensitive people which means we're sensitive to new fears. Anxiety is triggered by fear, worry and too much stress whether emotional or in our daily lives. When pressures build up too much for us to cope with, anxiety results so we see the doctor who prescribes our meds. However, every time we encounter a new fear or fears, we start worrying and this worry then triggers more anxious feelings so in effect, it's not that the meds have stopped working but instead a reaction to new fears that we are still sensitive to because the underlying causes have never been addressed. These underlying causes would be such things as lack of confidence and lack of self-belief in our own abilities which create self-doubt and therefore worry and fear so that every time we encounter new fears or new stresses, we produce new worries which trigger our anxious symptoms. Anxiety though loves to deceive us into thinking it must be the meds that have stopped working so it misleads us into creating a cycle of meds, increasing doses and trying new ones.
Finding a longlasting "cure" isn't straightforward as every individuals anxieties differ with various fears and various causes so it takes a package of methods to learn how to cope and to find ways to ease pressures.
Anyway, I know it's a bit basic and doesn't cover everything but I hope it makes some sense.:shrug::hugs:
Simon, I understand your confusion and scepticism about meds and I take my hat off to you in trying to deal with your panic/anxiety/agorophobia for ages without meds.
I really did not want to take meds when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 6 years ago. I was in a complete state when I saw my GP, and only really wanted therapy and did not want to pop a pill to feel good. My GP at the time told me in no uncertain terms that unless I started meds she would not refer me to MIND for counselling as I was too ill to go into therapy without physically tackling the depression. I reluctantly caved in.
I am still a bit ambivalent as to whether I made the right choice as I have only succeeded in coming off meds for short periods and have had to go back on them as all of my anxiety and panic attacks return with a vengeance, though I have recovered well from my depression.
On the flip side of that though, in retrospect I am glad I did start the meds as I was spiralling downwards very badly and the meds were a crutch that I needed. I also have to say that, it somewhat puzzles me why anti-depressants and anti-anxiolitics are so demonised and so feared as if you have any other illness, what do you do but take medication to help that illness, so why should meds for the illness of depression/anxiety be any different?
It is really confusing though granted, and as kibbutz said, it really is about personal choice as to which road you go down in terms of tackling things.
All the best.x
Thanks bill, I have read alot of your great posts and thanks that did make alot of sense. I find that when I'm not facing any Lions, spiders I have think logically and know that even though they are unpleasant they cant hurt you so say, but when in the actual situation I cannot seem to see the wood through the trees and seem to throw away all the knowledge learnt and just go down the run for the hills route, or leave feel better and try again later. I think I find this the frustrating part and I guess I'm definately not alone here. Thats when I wonder whether meds would stop this and make me think logically in the horrid situation making me deal with it better.
I think what I'm also scared of is that the meds are gonna take me away if ya know what I mean, Like do you know your on meds?? It would be nice to think that they just make you think better without making you not feel like your normal self if ya know what I mean! rambling again lol :-)
Kibbutz and Debs thanks for your messages too I really appreciate it. I do know it will only be me that will make the final decision, although Its nice getting views and opinions and past experiences in order for me to make the right decision for me.
I thought I'd just offer my opinion.
I think it's a very delicate issue for some reason but in my view there's absolutely nothing wrong if someone feels they need med in the short term or in the long term, or they prefer to learn to cope without them. The important thing is that the person leads a happier life by whatever method they feel happiest with.
All I'd like to say is about the pros and cons to try and help you decide what is best for you...
In alot of cases, we suffer too much stress in our lives whether at home or at work. However, there is also what I call emotional stress which surfaces due to past bad experiences.
These stresses can then cause extreme anxiety which lead to panics and the feelings we experience as a result can frighten us so much into creating more panics ourselves. We end up living in fear.
More often than not, we need to feel secure which means we safe in the home. However, the home becomes a cage created by fear which then causes us to feel trapped. When we then force ourselves into situations where we feel trapped such as outdoors, at work or on transport, they can cause us to feel panicky.
Regarding meds, when these stresses become just too great, meds can often give us valuable support to lift our mood to help us out of the dark pit we feel in.
Once our mood is lifted, we can then often work on easing the stresses that have caused our panics which would mean for instance changing jobs, sorting homelife, seeing a counsellor etc.
When we then feel better in ourselves, we can then decide whether we want to carry on with meds or learn to cope without them.
Some things to think about though...
Meds can certainly help when we're most in need but in my own experience they can...
1. Cause side-effects which can increase our anxiety because we start worrying about them.
2. We can grow to rely on meds because our fear makes us feel we can't live without them so when we do try to stop, our anxiety comes back but not because of the anxiety itself but because we feel insecure again knowing we no longer have their support Even if hey weren't actually doing anything to help anyway.
3. Although meds can ease symptoms to help us cope with our stressful job etc., they don't actually cure our anxiety because our anxiety is being caused by our jobs through stress and fear.
4. Often the benefits of meds don't last long term because meds are "Anti-depressants" meaning that they can cure depression by lifting a person out of "pure depression". When an anxiety sufferer says the are depressed, their depressed state is normally caused for a "reason" i.e. stress at work. Pure depression doesn't normally have any outside cause. It's just biological.
5. Meds can also focus your attention on your anxiety because they are a daily reminder that you're "ill". Anxiety is "cured" when it's ignored. It starves when ignored but thrives on attention.
6. If you were in front of a lion, would a med cure your fear...or just help you to smile?
Having said all that though, alot of people find they feel happier taking meds long term and there's nothing wrong with that because we all just want to live happier lives by whatever means we feel happiest with. The choice is the individuals but all I'd say is that it is possible to learn to cope without meds IF the individual wishes but there's nothing wrong in taking meds long term either if they feel happier taking them.
Personally, I tried most meds and they made me feel happier in the short term after the side-effects had worn off but the anxiety always returned because the underlying causes weren't being addressed. Only once the stresses were eased did my anxiety lessen and I've managed to cope ok without meds except when I lost my dog last Christmas which made me feel I really needed something in the short term to help me cope with the loss but now I'm coping fine without.
I think you will always get those who say don't take them and those who say you must but those who also say it doesn't matter if you do or don't!
All I'd say is that it seems to me that doctors often aren't aware how anxiety works and because therapy often has a long waiting list, they feel they can only dish out meds because what they see is a depressed patient and they haven't the time to delve into the underlying reasons which I feel can then mislead the sufferer into thinking the meds must be the cure and so on...
My own feeling is all you can do is place the facts on the table and then let the sufferer decide which route they feel happiest with. I just wish someone had done that for me years ago so I understood what was really causing my anxiety.
If someone is smiling with or without meds then that's all that really matters!:)
Hi Bill, I just wanted to say really, thankyou for the insightful post :) I was also wondering what you think about a holistic nutritionist? I read an article in a health magazine the other week, and in it a woman suffering severe adrenal fatigue/extreme anxiety.. was put on a strict nutritional regime by the holistic doc... within 6 weeks her anxiety and 99% of her other symptoms had gone or almost gone. I think that the nutrition/brain connection is probably the key to a lot of people's anxiety? Plus exercise and relaxation I guess?
I think anxiety creates a desperation in a lot of us... the thought that there"must be an answer, and please I need it NOW" x
In answer to a few comments I've read. Yes there are people still struggling whilst taking meds, but these pills are not a magic fix. You still have to push through it yourself.
I do and have in the past taken medication to help me through my anxiety, and I know that without it I'm in a worse place.
An example is that at the beginning of this year I had a very severe relapse and over the coming months lost around 20lbs in weight. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn't hungry, nor could I eat more than a mouthful at a time. I would be eating my dinner 5 hours after it was served and even then I wouldn't finish it. Then I was put on Seroxat. What can I say, I've now put on all the weight I've lost in the past few months and I'm able to eat again.
I do still have anxiety problems, but along with the therapy I have received I feel like I can get on with my life again.
The best analogy I can give for medication is this;
Imagine you're standing on a square piece of wood that is balanced on a ball. You spend all your time trying to stop yourself falling off. This is how I feel without meds. With meds I feel like the ball is now a cube. I have a much more secure base in which to push through the anxiety.
I hope this helps.
Kibbutz, I don' t want to start another argument, but I really am curious as to why you tell us that you choose not to take meds but on another forum say you can't take them for medical reasons.
Meanwhile, if you are serious about trying "alternative" treatments and supplements, and can afford to spend maybe a few hundred pounds over a period of months, feel free to send me a PM and I'll tell you about my celloid mineral therapy practitioner. She's very good and although she's in Scotland she does offering testing via mail x
JaneC, in answer to your question, I have a blood disorder which means I have a low platelet count, and ad's thin my blood even more, causing "purpura", or bleeding out...
The doctor has said that it's "up to me " whether I want to take a chance with ad's, as it can be dangerous with my "condition"... so you see, I "choose" not to take them, as they are dangerous for me. And thanks for the mineral therapy advice, but no I don't have a few hundred quid to spend :( We are living on £140 a week :( I hope that answers your question Jane :)
I think what I'm also scared of is that the meds are gonna take me away if ya know what I mean, Like do you know your on meds?? It would be nice to think that they just make you think better without making you not feel like your normal self if ya know what I mean!
That is exactly what worried me Simon.
I thought I was gonna 'not be myself' anymore, just some doped up zombie, and I expressed that to my GP, and I remember her telling me a very reassuring thing. She said that all the Cipralex does (as an SSRI) is replenish what is missing. If you think of your brain as having a serotonin tank, and that your illness had depleted that tank, well the meds just fill up the tank again with serotonin which in turn makes you feel ok again, or at the very least, able to start tackling the primary external causes for your depression/anxiety.
I definitely still feel like me as a person - my thoughts, feelings, attitudes, sense of humour, etc. but what the meds have done I think is just give me calm and clarity. When you are in the storm of anxiety and panic you just cannot find those things.
Vixxy - I really love your analogy of the ball and cube and it is bang on. Nobody says that the meds are a cure for all but they do just take the edge off enough to deal with the root causes of your anxiety/depression, etc.
Sorry to say, ad's have always made me feel spaced out :( But that's just my experience x
And thanks for the mineral therapy advice, but no I don't have a few hundred quid to spend :( We are living on £140 a week :( I hope that answers your question Jane :)
Sorry to hear that. I'm afraid I rely on my credit card to pay for mine at the moment but I'm hoping it pays off in the long run in allowing me to work more - if I can find any more work - by improving my CFS.
You did ask about seeing a holistic nutritionist - I presume you wouldn't be able to do that on the NHS?
Debs, I'm the same as you, perfectly able to experience normal emotions etc while on SSRIs. I suppose not everyone is the same tho x
I think all doctors do the empty bath or tank approach lol. I was told that my brain was sitting in a bath and someone let the plug out, so my body couldnt keep up with all the serotonin that I was losing out the plug. Oops naughty me... and now I've misplaced the plug :p
I take levothyroxine for my underactive thyroid and I fully believe that ADs are offering me the same service. I have a deficiency and they top me up.
As for not feeling yourself any more. I've been on 3 different ADs now, citalopram, mirtazapine and seroxat. I still feel like me. In fact I feel like the me I was BEFORE i started living my life around the anxiety.
Yeh, me too Vixxy.
I don't recognise myself when I am anxious if anything. It is like being trapped in some alien body, absolutely petrified of anything and everything, and having no connection to the person I am normally.
It is very hard to explain, but terrifying.
I have come to the conclusion that I would rather spend a million days feeling like me and fuctioning normally ON meds than one single minute of suffering the horror of panic and severe anxiety. Given the choice, of course I would rather live my life without them, but if I have to in order to HAVE a life at all then so be it.
Yes Jane, I don't see that being on meds changes us fundamentally as the person we are, or disconnects us from the feelings and emotions that we would have were we not taking them.xx
Hi Simon,
“Trouble is maybe having too much therapy one therapist tells me stear clear of Meds, then one says they help you??”
Suppose because there’s no right answer – just personal opinions and preferences.
It’s admirable that you’ve gotten this far without meds. Another thing I don’t know whether you’ve considered is some of the ‘alternative’ therapies, like hypnosis, because that works on a ‘subconscious’ level.
It seems like on a conscious level you already know what to do, but it’s the subconscious part of the mind that’s responsible for a person’s initial response to a situation. It fast too – faster than the speed of thought even – hence why the instant feelings of panic are sometimes there before having chance to put any of that learning into practice.
Good luck :)
Nigel
It’s admirable that you’ve gotten this far without meds. Another thing I don’t know whether you’ve considered is some of the ‘alternative’ therapies, like hypnosis, because that works on a ‘subconscious’ level.
I agree Nigel, it most definitely is about personal choice, as what some may find helps them, others may not.
On a personal level though, I would NEVER consider hypnosis as I personally believe it to be far more dangerous and potentially damaging than meds or traditional therapies. I just do not relish the thought of messing with the psyche and subconscious and should things not pan out, who knows what after effects may be experienced.
No thanks, it is meds and self-help that I will stick with!:lac:
i think people should follow their gut feeling. i have come off my ssri and feel pretty rough but for me - i do not want to be on medication because if i do not learn to make friends with my anxiety and i live to old age - i will be on ssris for 40 years +.
the thing is - now i have come off them - i cannot quite believe i was so blase about taking them continually for 6 yrs - they are not a vitamin - they are powerful drugs and many people in the medical profession think they are like taking a sledgehammer to crack a nut lol because no one really knows how they work/the effect they have on the body/mind and i just wanted to be "me" again - warts and all. i never would have said that they numbed me but now i cry at a sad story in the paper whereas before - i would have thought - oh - that's sad but never really felt it and so i am de thawing my emotions.
i am definitely not anti meds and if you feel they benefit you and you feel that this outweighs the risk of long term side effects then that is your choice but i think most people would say if you can cope without - then that is the best option.
i have had very bad set backs even whilst on ssris and i have also experienced bad side effects at times. i did not realise that taking citalopram for years on end is pretty much guaranteed to give you stomach problems because it works like aspirin in some ways and so then what do you do - take another chemical for the rest of your life to sort your stomach out and so on?! they also do not help you address the underlying issues/behaviours that lead to stress/anxiety in the first place. it is only since i have come off them that i have now started to realise just how much i was piling on myself because i used to think - i don't need to change anything because i am on medication. and then to cap it off - they make you feel terrible whilst starting taking them and then when coming off them too. the trouble is - is that when we feel anxious - we want to do anything/take anything to just stop it whereas if we were all prepared to give it time and put the right sort of self help into action - we would get there naturally. my mum suffered a breakdown in her teens and was agorophobic - she had no family support and no medication and she did pull through - it can be done!
however - medication can be helpful in getting you out of a rut and for those who simply cannot function without them. my own view is that anxiety is not a condition such as diabetes etc - if you have diabetes/thyroid etc then you NEED to take medication - but anxiety is a natural response that has got out of hand and it is our way of thinking about it/reacting to it that turns it into a condition and it can be improved with acceptance/self help etc.
most gp's i have met have been in both camps - some have been very much anti meds and some for.
Hi Debs,
It’s another of those personal preference things again – some people find it helps, others not so.
I used very skeptical too, and I think that’s the view the media gives a lot of people about it. I’ve never seen a hypnotherapist in person but have listened to a few recordings. They’re never gonna be the same as seeing somebody for real, but I think they’ve made a subtle difference.
I’ve also read stuff about it now, and it all makes a lot more sense. I’d suggest that if anyone does consider it, they do likewise. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not about somebody else ‘doing’ something to a person’s mind. Any changes have to come from within, so it makes a big difference when you actually understand more about it beforehand.
As an example – my friend had a couple of sessions for PTSD and it made a huge difference. She saw the same therapist in connection with an eating disorder and it made no difference at all. In the first case she believed in it and wanted it to make a difference, and her mind was in agreement. However, she didn’t want to let go of her eating disorder, hence none of those suggestions stuck.
Take care,
Nigel
Thanks again guys! With your posts I'm getting a balanced view and will hopefully make a decision soon! Its good to know that meds are not gonna make me a zombie! I do hope if I go down this route that I will be one of the lucky ones and not get too many side effects :-)
I just wanted to add a couple of thoughts.....
One of the things about anxiety is that it affects people in Lots of different ways and some people suffer much more severely than others so there are those who would definitely benefit from meds but others who are well enough to be able to cope without.
I must admit I have to remind myself sometimes that it is extremely dangerous to generalise when anxiety can affect people to such great extremes. Sometimes I know when I post a thread it can make things sound simple because it's very difficult to cover every type of anxiety issue within a post. When I try to help, I try to target certain aspects in the hope that it will help someone who can relate with something I say within that particular post. Otherwise I think it would be like trying to write a book within one post and I Certainly don't know everything about anxiety as I'm still learning myself. I can only share the parts I have learnt.
Anyway, in my experience I've tried different types of meds until they told me they had ran out of choices at which point they offered me ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy?...I think it stands for). For me, it was a terrible experience and if you've seen the film A Beautiful Mind you'll understand why! I had no idea what they actually did. They told me they thought I suffered from depression when really you would have thought they would have realised it was anxiety...but that's another story!
You'll find there are the old types of meds and the new types. The old types were meds such as Valium (Diazepam). The new types are the modern AD's uch as amitriptiline, prozac etc.
When I first became "ill" I was prescribed Diazepam which I must admit I found very effective. The reason is because these old types are sedatives. They have an immediate effect by sedating you and to my knowledge I haven't heard of any side-effects either. However, although my anxiety semed much better, oddly my panics seemed worse but I don't know why. They also have one severe drawback which I wasn't told about. They are Highly addictive. Gradually my dose was raised as the anxiety kept coming back and when I did eventually decide to stop them, it took me 6 months to get off them. I feel Diazepam are best used "as and when" but Never daily because you soon become addicted and they also then lose their benefit. However, taken as and when I found very beneficial but doctors are reluctant to prescribe them because of their addictivess. I think also they feel anxiety is a daily event so sufferers will be too tempted to take them daily which then leads to problems.
In my experience, most modern ad's didn't sem to have much sedative effect. However, amitripiline on a high dose knocked me out! If you do experience a sedative effect, I believe it normally wears off as you grow accustomed to them. However, unlike Diazepam, the modern ad's need time to work for the sufferer to feel any benefit. Also, these ad's aren't addictive other than the sufferer sometimes feeling they need them to feel more secure. However, although they lifted my mood, the effect never seemed to last at which point they either increased the dose or prescribed another med. My feeling is that a flame still burns when the fuel is still switched on meaning that I was under alot of stress so the meds only tempered my anxiety.
I think if I were in your position I would have a cat with the doctor and ask their opinion whether they think you're bad enough to need them. There's no harm in trying them and if you get any bad effects, just go back to the doctor who will offer another type.
IF a person feels able to cope without meds then I'd certainly say go without but if the person really feel they need something to ease their anxiety then I'd agree that they should try them, especially if anxiety is making their life a misery to the point that it prevents them living any sense of normality even for short periods.
One last point in reply to Kibbutz83 regarding nutrition is that the only thing I've learnt is that some foods increase anxiety and others have calming influences. For instance, avoid caffeine and alcohol but I know there are others. Regarding alcohol, alcohol is a depressant so it counteracts any benefit from meds. It can also be dangerous to mix because alcohol can make you So depressed and then you also have plenty of meds at hand which "can" result in accidents if you see what I mean! Erm, yes, it happened to me.
Anyway, please bear in mind what I've said is Just my opinion and I can't promise I've got everything right but hopefully it might help you decide what's best for you.:shrug:
like alot of people i dont like meds i always try to battle on and do all the things we are supposed to do....face the fear...ride out the panic....try to relax...but its a massive struggle! i have suffered anxiety for around 12 years now and tried everything! cbt , meditation , exercise, vitimins...and various meds! like most people on here i have had good periods and bad periods i think this latest 'episode' has prob been the worst! just constant anxiety 24/7 i have tried so so hard to keep going thinkin eventually it will stop but i think i have tried to hard and its got worse and worse to the point i was in so much physical pain and i could no longer think straight enough just to carry out simple tasks so reluctantly i had to stop and seek help.
i am 31 and have a 6 year old i should be having fun not living in fear!
so at my latest psychiatrist appointment i finally agreed to medication my psychiatrist talked me through it and explained to me that even though with all the will in the world we want to fight and keep going it alone sometimes we just cant because its almost as if we are drowning and our heads are below the water. we cant even find enough space in our brains to think straight enough to help ourselves. so they are throwing us an aid to help us get our heads above the water to enable us to see more clearly so that we can help ourselves.
i KNOW medication is not a cure but its been a week since i started and i can see glimpses of my former self and others can too. i have to work hard at getting better and still have to push myself to go out everyday but i have to admit i feel so much better than i did a week ago!and looking back over the last 12 years most of the good periods were around times when i took meds or in the months following periods of medication.
thats just my own point of view everyone has to do whats right for them. but after 12 years i have finally admitted to my self why the hell am i making it so hard on myself ! why have i spent so much time drowning when the aids are close by.
good luck xxxxxxx
:) this is really hard because at the end of the day no matter what anyone says, you have to decide yourself and then deal with it. what i can say is that for over 10 years i had a phobia of meds, which i thought was caused by taking prozac - i now realise it wasnt. im like the previous poster, i am today on my 5th day of prozac, because like her i had had enough of struggling and had also started to recover from my fear of meds - ive had a couple of small operations and been given drugs, ive had intravenous anti-biotics and ive been forced through no choice to take painkillers and other over the counter meds - all of which have had minimal side effects. the worse thing for me is that i have become addicted to the anti-anxiety effects of zoplicone, so i have gone back on propranolol for raised heartbeat - this has been amazing as my heart now feels normal, and ive started the prozac, with again minimal side effects. i believe that our anxiety stops us from taking them, and i was so anti medsfor so long, because i was scared. i feel now i could have been helped all along, but because i tried them in a highly anxious state i attributed anxiety for side effects - like others have said they cant kill you, you may feel soem symptoms, but if you ignore them they go away, and you may actually feel some benefit, so you can tackle the agoraphobia - i have been tackling mine for 10 years and im now in a situation where id rather rely on myself and the help meds can give than be contantly dependent on other ppl who dont want to or cant help for whatever reason. at end of the day so long as you know they only help while you are on them, and you need to find other coping methods and to be kind to yourself first and formost, then you cant go wrong - but bear in mind that some of them can give you horrible side-effects and there is no way you should continue with a med for more than 6 weeks if you dont feel any benefit and if it is making you feel ill - from what ive been told prozac is a pretty good place to start? good luck with it, keep us posted as to what you do and maybe do a a diary so you can get support on here?:)
Thanks again for your posts, I have been given 10mg of Citalopram from my GP about a month ago and I haven't got them from the chemist yet. She reckoned that if I was at rock bottom with regard to the agoraphobia, anxiety and panic that what had I got to lose???? I sorta understood what she mean't, I'm not a depressive person really although sometimes its the anxiety etc that depresses me! I think I've read all the meds they could give me as I have been for months been trying to find the one that will give me the least side effects! I think all have good and bad stories and I do believe it effects each individual differently. I do also have the added problem that we moved 10 months ago, thought I would be able to cope with it but leaving my safe place of my old home set me way way back. I'm only now coping in the home on my own! I was having to have people sit with me while my partner was at work. I will not really be able to start anything just yet until my partner can take annual leave as I will not be able to cope on my own if I do get side effects! Just another obstacle in the way LOL! I must admit I do have the humour to laugh at myself good job I have and do else I dont know how I would of coped on occasions! Rant over :-) THanks again guys!!! :):D
I do also have the added problem that we moved 10 months ago, thought I would be able to cope with it but leaving my safe place of my old home set me way way back. I'm only now coping in the home on my own! I was having to have people sit with me while my partner was at work. I will not really be able to start anything just yet until my partner can take annual leave as I will not be able to cope on my own if I do get side effects!
No wonder you're feeling so anxious! Moving is one of the most stressful ordeals we encounter. For us, just as you say, you have left your "safe" house to move into somewhere unfamiliar. Moving is very stressful but because of anxiety we need to feel "secure" so moving will make us feel very insecure which adds to the stress of moving because we take time to feel safe again in our new environment.
Also, when our partner is working, we are left alone for long periods which will also trigger our insecurities. When our partner is home we feel feel more secure because we feel someone is there for us.
As you say, you're worried about side-effects, and because you're alone alot of the time, you now also have the extra stress caused by "what if" the meds don't agree with you and your partner isn't there to support you.
To sum up, you had the extreme stress and insecurity caused by moving compounded with the insecurity caused by being on your own alot of the time added to the worry of "what if" meds disagree so it's really no wonder you're feeling so stressed and anxious.
In time your mind will settle again as you begin to feel secure once more in your new home. You need things, hobbies etc to occupy yourself when you're alone because this will help to train your mind away from being aware of your new surroundings and of being alone. I honestly feel that once your mind accustoms And IF you can keep occupied, you may well find you won't need meds because your mind will then "forget" about your anxious feelings. I feel you have too much time to think at present and when this happens, our minds always turn to worrying which then triggers our anxious feelings.:winks:
really my situation sounds so similar - for many years i had a problem with being alone - i suppose to some extent i still do, but like bill suggested to you, ive found my own ways of dealing with it - most recently by starting a 2 day a week college course. i could never have done that until now - also i do agree with bill, that when you feel more settled you may not feel you need any help with meds. but like you i am soooo frightened of bad side-effects that i too wouldnt take anything - but all of that has changed recently, because i cant rely on anybody else to be there for me- in the long term it isnt practical and it isnt good for you to be 'babysat' - that wont do your self-esteem any good - btw how do you manage to get ppl to stay in with you? being in a new place i wouldnt have thought youd have known that many ppl - plus how do you ge tthem to agree to do it? anybody ive been involved with have really hated this aspect of my condition and it has caused loads of probs and arguments and general bad feeling? anyway, i agree with your pharmacist - ive decided to take meds becasue i have no option, but also because ive dealt with this fear of them very slowly over the last few years - at one time i wouldnt even take vitamins!!!!!!
Hey Bill, I'm trying to fill my time during the day at the moment with entering lots on online competitions, keeps my brain active and not thinking about being alone etc etc, Emmas - Luckily I have a couple of real good friends that were coming to me one on a monday and thursday and another on a tues/weds, I didnt move too far from my old house but it was definately enough!!! Problem also was I also had the comfort of my doctors being 10 secs across the road if I ever got panicky, never went over just was the knowledge they were their that helped and that got taken away, think thats been the worse thing!!! I'm learning now to stay on my own with knowledge I can call upon friends if I get panicky! Its hard but I know this is what I need to do! :-)
hi simon, how are things at the moment? did you start the citalopram? i came off the prozac because it was making me feel more anxious (i think, or it wasnt helping my anxiety) and a week later out of desperation i started 20mg of citalopram - i didnt read the side effects and whatever mild symptoms i had went after 1 week - i slept after 3 days like a log - first time in years! and i feel alot calmer and able to cope - im 4 weeks in and i do still have anxious moments - but i think the edge has gone off, and im not constantly ruminating over things that have happened - also if something upsets me i am able to shrug it off quicker - just wanted to say that despite everything youve read -( ive been very anti-meds in the past myself), they can and do 'help' - they dont cure - but they can just give you an edge over your problems, rather than the other way round, take care and merry christmas x
hey..
try st johns wort from boots..their home brand or kira brand..ive had panic/depression for 15years...this really helps and its natural. personally antidepressant from doc scare the life out of me
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