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sammie71
25-10-10, 20:03
Hi, I'm Sam and I've just discovered this site, hoping it will help with how I'm feeling. I've been having a bad time with regards to anxiety, panic attacks, phobias and now what seems to bhe developing into agraphobia! It started about 4 months ago, 6 weeks after having my second baby. I assumed it was a post natal thing but it's just going on and on now and I feel I am losing the ability to cope and be a good wife and mother. Also returning to work in Jan and worried about how I will cope.

My initial panic attack was a day when I felt ill and believed I couldn't cope with the children. My partner came home from work and I thought that was that but a few days later I felt ill again and had a major panic attack believing I was going to be sick; again he came home from work. This happened a couple more times until I went to the doctors where I had such a bad attack I passed out. The doctor put me on 20mg Citalopram a day plus Beta Blockers. I then spent the next 5 days curled up in a ball in my bedroom unable to function. (My mum had to stay to look after my 5 year old and 2 month old baby).

Gradually I made progress and after about another 4 weeks was able to cope during the day on my own. However the panicky feelings are constantly there and I can't get rid of this constant fear about being sick to the extent it has now developed into a phobia. My main fear is that I'll be sick and unable to look after my children properly. If my son is sick I have a total melt down and can't cope for days. I also am feeling more and more depressed and so frightened especially at night. The last week has been very hard and I've avoided leaving the house as I start to be unable to breath when out and about. Luckily the children are both perfectly happy and seem unaware but I can't carry on feeling so controlled by this illness. Any help and advice would be so great as I feel very on my own with this; my partner is wonderful but it is hard for him to fully appreciate how I feel. Sorry to go on but feel a bit of relief from posting this.

Thanks Sam:wacko:

diane07
25-10-10, 20:05
Hi sammie71

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

paula lynne
25-10-10, 20:26
Hi Sammi and welcome to you x:welcome:

JOHN55
25-10-10, 23:11
Hi and welcome to the best site on the net.
Im sure your mind is trying hard to unsettle you and make your confidence low please read my theory on panic have suffered on and off for years im sure it is a confidence thing its a very big step being a new mum and responsible for a new life that relies totally on you - but you will get there its so new and you dont want to make any mistakes you will get stronger and begin to realise you will cope and enjoy the responsibility take it slowly and enjoy.
John xx :hugs:

Tish
26-10-10, 13:27
Hello sam,

my heart went out to you, reading your post as I understand your feelings well. I had my first anxiety attacks after the birth of my third child and I'll never frorget the feelings of sheer helplessnesss and total fear that i was going out of my mind.
I just want to say that I DID RECOVER. You just need information to understand your condition and follow the advice offered. You may think it isn't helping but don't fight it, take time out to relax and do breathing excercises. Try and banish negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. In the meantime, don't be afraid to tell your GP how serious you feel your condition is and that you need counselling. It was talking to someone who understands that aided my recovery along with a small dose of Prozac (I took the liquid form so I could keep to a small dosage). My own view is that my hormones were unbalanced. There IS light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you. My symptons have returned as I go through the menopause but I have had many years of being well.
All the best x

sammie71
26-10-10, 18:29
Thank you so much for taking notice of my post and thank you Tish especially your words have helped today so much. I've had an awful day today and seriously felt like just phoning a hospital and being carted away. What I don't understand is I had nothing like this after my son was born but this time round it's totally different and I feel like I'm missing out and wasting what should be a wonderful time with a new baby.

The total fear at 4 in the morning is almost unbearable and when it happens I can't see how I will get through another day.

It has made me feel better hearing you were in a similar situatin and recovered, I shall remind myself of that next time I wake up fearing the worse.

Thanks again x