Really Struggling - In need of reassurance

[StillyKat]

Hi everyone,

I am really struggling, after a good few years of feeling myself, something has left me spiralling out of control with my fears. I am often a worrier when it comes to my health but it has taken its toll on me.

At the moment I am feeling so tired, trembling, aches and pains, headaches, pain behind eyes, no energy, anxious, stomach problems including constipation and stomach cramping after eating, although I have a good appetite, acid, hair is coming out quite a lot (I notice more when im washing hair) and just the fear that im dying.

For the past few weeks I think ive had stomach cancer, colon cancer, lymphoma, now Im fearing panceatic cancer due to pain under left rib, back ache and stomach problems. Also have nausea but think it could be due to starting taking propanolol.

Every day im so scared of getting ill and dying, and Im not enjoying anything, I have an appointment with a therpist but its not till next week and im struggling so much. Ive had full blood tests, colonoscopy, endoscopy, laproscopy, abdominal scans, smear and all have been normal apart from laproscopy as I had some endemetriosis.

Im just so unhappy, i sometimes feel like I wanna get hit by a car or something so that I can go into hospital and just get checked out from head to toe!

Just to let you know, Im only 25, but feel much older.

Thanks for listening.xxx

[sammi]

Oh hunni I know exactly how you feel. I have acid reflux but my anxiety is based around my heart I've had all the tests and cardiologist says I'm fine but every day I live in fear I will die. Anxiety is awful I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy x

[boppers]

I am sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I know just how you feel and wish that I could get some sort of magical full medical workup to tell me that nothing is wrong. No matter what tests I have done, I still don't want to believe the results when nothing is wrong.

One thing I am trying to do is think of all the healthy things I did to help myself each day - like today I ate all my servings of fruits and veggies, took my vitamins, and went for a nice walk at lunch. Maybe that will help you too.

[Jaco45er]

Hi Kat

That's good advice from boppers, and it's good you have an appointment with the therapist lined up.

Health anxiety, sammi is right, it's a damn nightmare, but there is a lot to what boppers has suggested while waiting for therapy.

I had HA pretty bad (at one point, I would hardly move for fear of a heart attack) but what helped me break the cycle was exercise. You don't have to go running down the gym and go mad, but going for brisk walks, maybe some exercises at home etc. Initially it's hard, because your negative thinking takes over, and it makes you convinced that all you are doing is more harm to youself.

If you can get over the initial "shock" of exercise, and cope with the fears, you hopefully will find that you will start to feel stronger both mentally and physically. Trust me, exercise can have some amazing results, and while you are occupied doing some activity, you will have less time to think, because once you strip all those nasty feelings away, at the core of everything is how we think.

Have you heard of Claire Weekes? she wrote some self help books that really are helpful in understanding what is going on, well worth a read.

GL

Jaco

[joannap]

aww - bless you BUT you have pretty much being checked out from top to toe lol!

it is hard to believe that anxiety can cause such horrible, "real" symptoms.

i have been suffering with all sorts of stomach problems for 4 months but they will only give me an endoscopy lol! but i know how easy it is to think it is something terminal - i have all of the symptoms you describe and am on propranalol but with positive self talk and keeping busy - i am not getting worse but feel very shaky mentally so know what you are going through.

the thing i find helps is to separate the fear from the thoughts if that makes sense. when we feel anxious - we naturally think negative/scary thoughts so i just focus on accepting the anxious feelings and when they lift at points in the day - i can then think more positively/rationally xx

[PUGLETMUM]

i agree, exercise combined with other things like therapy, diet, relaxation/mediatation, yoga, doing things you enjoy is crucial to being well - our bodies are not designed to sit around all day, and even if its just to use up the adrenaline - which afterall is there to help you to fight or run - you will feel better. ive used exercise on/off for all life and i definately feel worse when im not doing it - it takes time like anything else to reap the benefits, and like jaco said, at first you can be worrying aboout all sorts of things, but in a normal healthy person ( not been diagnosed with anything, no heart problems ) there is no problem at all and it is actually what we need:)

[StillyKat]

Thanks so much for your lovely kind replies, I need to get out more, exercise and stuff I enjoy... thanks to all xxxxx