I hate this so much!!!!

[Rennie1989]

hiya all

ok, so it's been half a week now of taking prozac and already i hate it. i didnt want to take prozac in the first place, i just wanted my seroxat dose raised, but according to my doctor they cant (because seroxat doesnt go any higher then 20mgs .... a load of ball), so im on these drugs instead. i have a headache, got the sweats, im dizzy, irritable and feel like i could punch the lights out of someone as well as cry. i feel like i cant do this nursing course anymore, i feel like i cant accomplish anything in my life, i feel like a second rate citizen because im mentally ill and i feel like everybody deserves better then this miserable sod. i cant go clubbing, which i enjoyed, because i just dont want to (if any guy tried touching me or anything i swear i could just hit him with no remorse) and because of that my friends dont care about me anymore, im not fun anymore. what annoys me more is that ive been there for them when they were down, and now theyre not there for me when i so badly need them. nobody in chat notices me, i end up talking to myself (so much for support), everybody at uni doesnt notice me, especially when i wasnt in yesterday and when i try talking to them and helping them they couldnt give a monkeys about me.

whats worse is that at the moment horrid memories keep floading back, like when i miscarried last year, when i tried to commit suicide, my abusive relationship, hard times with depression, worst panic attack, everything! and there is nobody in the world who wants to help me. i feel like running away, either to a new town or country all together, or just ending my life because nobody would notice that im gone and it would make their life easier, and mine too.

im sorry if this has put anybody off, i just feel in a right state, this mental illness at the moment feels the physical equivilence to the flu, or worse.

[Baggie]

Hi Rennie

I'm really sorry that you're feeling like this just now. It sounds like you've had an awful lot of things to deal with and it can't have been easy for you.

Speaking from my own experience, I've been on Prozac before, a few years back when I had postnatal depression. I found that being on this medication helped me, together with speaking to my health visitor. Just talking to someone about how I was feeling helped me cope with the feeling of depression. Has your doctor spoke to you about arranging some counselling? Maybe he or she could refer you to see someone locally? Take care and hope that things start to get better for you soon. x

[Rennie1989]

He has, but unfortunately my abusive ex boyfriend goes to the closest counselling centre to where I live, the other one is about six miles away and I don't drive, plus it's a nuisance to get there on public transport. I'm also skint so I have no money for travel or for the counselling session ...... go figure.

[Carly Lou]

Rennie..........
lol.... first thing... i havent seen you in chat and i am in there most days...
secondly.... you are NOT alone.... how ever much you may feel you are.... ive been on sertraline for a week now... with the help of diaz.... stopped taking diaz and the side effects are starting from the sert.. irratable, a headache, feeling dizzy sick... and i am taking this for health anxiety... severe health anxiety.... it is total crap but i promise you it WILL get better, ive been there where i felt nothing was ever going to help me... but i have to persevere with these tabs, too get better
xxx

[Nigel]

Hi Rennie,

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time of it at the moment. Sorry I’m not an expert on meds, but I have read many times how starting/changing them can cause some nasty side effects. But if the change is making things feel so bad, it might be an idea to go and have another chat with your doctor – and no punching his lights out! :winks:

“i feel like a second rate citizen because im mentally ill and i feel like everybody deserves better then this miserable sod.”

Aww Rennie... don’t say that :hugs:
In fact forget about labels like ‘mentally ill’. Going through a difficult time, finding things hard to cope with... now that would be more accurate in my book.

“and because of that my friends dont care about me anymore, im not fun anymore. what annoys me more is that ive been there for them when they were down, and now theyre not there for me when i so badly need them.”

Some people are uncaring like that, and it’s not fair when we’ve been there for them. But sometimes they simply don’t realise if we don’t tell them, or don’t know what to say unless we give them a clue if they’ve never been there themselves. And sometimes when a person is depressed they give off the impression that they want to be left alone, even if that’s not what they really want.

Is there a particularly good friend who you think might be worth taking a chance and confiding in?

Take care :)
Nigel

[andrew]

Hi Jade,

I just wanted to wish you some support, your not on your own, hang on in there, tcx

[Idstain]

Hi Rennie,

i just read your post and felt compulsed to reply. I can empathise (at least somewhat) with what you are going through, just know that recovery is always possible and life is definitely worth living!

you are in my thoughts xx

[JaneC]

Hi Rennie, I'd hazard a guess that it's withdrawing from seroxat that's causing your symptoms. I really think you need to find a doc who is prepared to discuss putting you back on it and increase your dose if necessary. And one who is honest with you :mad:

I had a nightmare time changing meds last year and it's made me of the opinion that it should only be done if absolutely necessary. Please see someone xx

[Rennie1989]

Thank you all for the kind messages. It's cheered me up alot thanks.

I looked up on withdrawal symptoms for seroxat and my symptoms match them almost spot on. I'm nauseous, dizzy, raised anxiety, very vivid dreams (dont even want to go there!) and electric shocks in the body. I was on 20mg so i didnt think that it would affect me that much but it obviously have. That explains why I feel so crap. In fact, I woke up yesterday evening after a midday nap and my heart was racing, I think it woke me up. Did my pulse and it was 100bpm .... now, it shouldnt be that high after sleeping surely.

I didn't think of withdrawal ..... thank you so much!

[kibbutz83]

It would've been that high if you were having a nightmare...happens to me almost every night :(