I think I just hit rock bottom

[Dizz]

Hi sorry for this as I hate putting my burdon on you all.... but I suddenly feel like I’ve hit rock bottom

Despite deciding that my doc is right any maybe all my symptoms are caused stress/anxiety, and despite a lot of them subsiding some have gone worst.

I feel absolutely **** and it's been gradually getting worse for a few days now and today seems like the worst day of my life.

My sleeping pattern has gone haywire and although I always had the odd problem falling asleep where I'd feel like I was floating and had to sit upright until I finally fell asleap this has suddenly without warning got 1000 times worse.

It's every night now and what was just a wobbly and floaty feeling just as I’m dropping off to sleep, and then having to sit upright until I finally fall asleep around 3am I’M NOW getting a sudden rush like a huge wave rushing over me, it wakes me with a jolt and I have lightleadedness, diziness and a racing pulse that I can feel all over my body. I still prop myself upright and ride it through but even if I do fall asleep it happens again and again and wakes me up.

I feel like I’m full of a cold (although have felt like I’ve been getting a cold for months now)… I’m aching… my visions tired and a bit blurry… my head feels like there is a tight hat around it (sorry that’s the only way I can describe it).. my arms and legs are heavy and wobbly.. I cant concentrate.. and even typing this is hard.

WHY ?? I’ve had the most chilled out few weeks I could have had, no work, hardly any disagreements with family, I’ve played games, listened to music, read relaxation books, listened to relaxation tapes and IGNORED IT everytime I’ve felt a bit ‘off’.

I’ve felt so ‘ill’ today that I have just cried for the past hour on my own and I just want some sleep but I can’t sleep… I want some energy but I’m always exhausted… and I want to feel normal for JUST ONE DAY at least.

I cant go on like this and I even rang to make another appointment with my doctor but he’s booked up.. so I got my hubby to buy me some kalms and a bottle of wine instead !?!? God I'll try anything to sleep

I’m sorry but I had to rant somewhere……. I have never felt this ill in my life and I HATE IT !!!!! Any my poor son is being so understanding although he's fed up too as he says it's not right that I'm always ill and not even driving.

[ems43]

oh poor you, its horribel when you feel you have taken two steps forwards and three steps back. ( I know the feeling!). Yes, if I don't sleep, or even have disturbed sleep my anxiety is through the roof so really feel for you if can't get any sleep. It sounds like you have been doing amazingly recently and really getting hold of it and not letting it take over your life. I know i keep banging on about this all the time on here ( and I am by no way a exercise nut normally, much rather have a bottle of wine and choc) but my sleep has been so much better since i have started exercising. Also i guess you use up all that excess adrenalin. Even though your exhausted, could you go on a power walk round the block just to try and get rid of some of the adrenalin. Sorry if sounds lame.. just really has helped me recently. But when I;m ill I also feel much worse, it is such a constant battle isn't it and when your physically poorly as well the fight just seems so hard. Be kind to yourself and I'm sure you will fight back again xx

[sammi]

I'm so sorry you feel this way.

I know how you feel about hitting rock bottom and today also has been the worst day of my life too.

I'm going to see my gp tomorrow as I can't go on like this any longer.

I know you said your gp is full booked but as soon as you can make an appointment and explain how you feel.

In the meantime try some nice hot bubble baths before bed see if this relaxes you and helps you sleep.

Just wanted to let you know your not alone. Xx

[ljd]

Hiya diz sorry tohear that you are unwell and not sleeping. Lack of sleep can cause a lot of unsettledness in people. I have not slept well for about 3 weeks now and its starting to get to me. I need to sleep as i am really buisy with working and studying and its annoying, i do think though the more you worry about not sleeping the harder it is. Ems is right about exercise you may not feel like it but just a walk in the fresh air may help you a bit. Its also worse when we are unwell too, hope you feel better soon. Dont be so hard on yourself and try and relax sounds like you have done well and could do again tc

[MidnightCalm]

You sound just like me, it's horrible to wake up everyday hoping "maybe today will be the day I start to feel better" only to find you couldn't be more wrong!
Tried wine to help me through which just made me double as bad.
It's like it's toying with me, gives me a good moment just to snatch it away and leave me feeling dreadful.
I think the Dr and my family and friends underestimate how bad I really feel as if I just have a habit of saying I just don't feel good.

[Dizz]

Thanks for replying so quickly. I even just phoned up my hubby and asked him to come home cos I feel so Ill. I've never ever asked him to do that before.

To make matters worse I've got a 'throb' in my calf muscle now... yes I've probably just been sitting funny but for some reason it really freaked me out..that's not like me but probably cos I'm feeling ****. So I had another cry and read your lovely comments and I'm feeling a little bit better but still pretty naff.

So.......I'm going to 'just ignore' and put up with it after slaping myself across the face and I will definately drag myself out for a walk when my other half gets back as that sounds like a good idea. Don;t think I can take my dog though because she's just thrown up everywhere and looks even more miserable than me now. Ohhhh good job I'm not squeemish too eh.

Really sorry to hear that some of you are having a really bad day too and I feel awful for moaning and being 'me me me' when you are all going through the same.

but thanks x x x x x x x x x x x x:hugs:

[Dizz]

Glad I hit rock bottom now as the only way from there is UP....... I'm ignoring my negative self from now on... I'm possitively 'possitive' I am :shades:

Every little step we manage to take now will GROW into a bigger step next time and every huge hurdle we manage to climb over will turn into a lower one that we can skip over and ignore x x x x

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/nmp/misc/progress.gif

[paula lynne]

For you :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:keep ignoring it, eventually, the power it has over you will subside, believe me, its happening to me. A few months ago, I couldnt sleep at all, nasty banging palps just before dropping off...scared me to death.
I told myself it wont hurt me, began to care less about them, and re-read my clare weekes book "Self help for nerves"
It working...Im not 100%, but Id say, Im about 50% improved.
Ive got palps now, but its the remnants of a stressy day...Im ignoring them.
Hope you feel better soon, try lavender on your palms and pillow, knocks me out after a while (Kalms gave me upset tum).
Lots of love x:bighug1: