Shania
27-10-10, 21:16
Hi.
i dont really like introducing me lol. i always wonder if i've said too much or too little.
but here goes.
i dont have any medical diagnoses because i'm waiting.
I have had panic attacks since i was a child, convinced i was going to die. and terrified of it. i have times when i'm ok. they never fully go away but i have had years of being able to cope. when i was 15 i had a huge attack, followed by months of constant attacks or fear of attacks. then after a few months, i began to cope with it. i had a few small attacks in the years, but i was able to deal with them. knew what they were so i could work through them. i managed to cope.
recently, i've been through a lot in a very short amount of time. a lot of emotional things, painful things.
i would say that i'm depressed. though as i said i havent been diagnosed with anything.
lately, my panic attacks have returned but at the worst they've ever been. i'm convinced that i'm going to have a heart attack and die. even when the attack is over, not that it ever fully leaves, i'm convinced that its going to happen. its afecting everything that i do and taking over my life.
i've lost all of my confidence. i have no motivation. i'm a complete mess. i'm so desperate to have a normal day.
i have three children so i have to fake my way through a day. have to pretend i'm ok. some days i think i'm doing ok with it, other days i struggle. the doctor gave me diazepam. only a weeks supply. i have made them last almost a month because i dont want to get addicted to them. i'm also scared of taking them lol. it seems like everything scares me nowadays. i'm completely scared of being on my own. in case something happens and i cant help myself. i feel ridiculous. i just want to be ok.
I'm sorry if this is too much.
i dont really like introducing me lol. i always wonder if i've said too much or too little.
but here goes.
i dont have any medical diagnoses because i'm waiting.
I have had panic attacks since i was a child, convinced i was going to die. and terrified of it. i have times when i'm ok. they never fully go away but i have had years of being able to cope. when i was 15 i had a huge attack, followed by months of constant attacks or fear of attacks. then after a few months, i began to cope with it. i had a few small attacks in the years, but i was able to deal with them. knew what they were so i could work through them. i managed to cope.
recently, i've been through a lot in a very short amount of time. a lot of emotional things, painful things.
i would say that i'm depressed. though as i said i havent been diagnosed with anything.
lately, my panic attacks have returned but at the worst they've ever been. i'm convinced that i'm going to have a heart attack and die. even when the attack is over, not that it ever fully leaves, i'm convinced that its going to happen. its afecting everything that i do and taking over my life.
i've lost all of my confidence. i have no motivation. i'm a complete mess. i'm so desperate to have a normal day.
i have three children so i have to fake my way through a day. have to pretend i'm ok. some days i think i'm doing ok with it, other days i struggle. the doctor gave me diazepam. only a weeks supply. i have made them last almost a month because i dont want to get addicted to them. i'm also scared of taking them lol. it seems like everything scares me nowadays. i'm completely scared of being on my own. in case something happens and i cant help myself. i feel ridiculous. i just want to be ok.
I'm sorry if this is too much.