Bad & Intrsuive Thoughts. I'm going mad

[Natalie x]

Hi. I don't know if anyone can relate to this or not, but I have been having really bad intrusive thoughts. In my head I recite prayers and during that something bad always pops in like wishign things that I don't mean and then I have to go back over them and recite it agan with the good thoughts. I know that this might sound crazy - I am aware of that. I'm really scared and it's getting me so stressed out doing this. Even driving by a church panics me because of the thoughts and I feel like I need to go back to there and recite it to make sure it doesn't happen. Please can anyone relate to this and I hope that no one thinks I'm an idiot. Thanks

[uk23]

I dont think your an idiot at all, I do this sometimes - its part of my OCD. :hugs:

[Natalie x]

Thanks for your reply. Do you happen to get the prayer thing? It so hard to deal with and I need to keep tryign to recite it again and wish that bad things wouldn't happen x

[Rachel W]

This is classic OCD. It is the type that I had more as a child before I became a washer after being spat on when I was 17. Mine was more about magical thinking in that if I looked at the clock it would have to change before I looked at it again or else something bad was going to happen. Also the disturbing thoughts that you have, like wishing something in your head that you know deep down you don't want to happen is all a part of it. I think this is the most disturbing of symptoms, but once you realise that it is not what you really want and obviously random then you know that it is just the illness talking, not you. The thoughts often stem from being aware of your thoughts and knowing that you may think these things, therefore you do, and the more you worry about having them the more it happens. Just like if you try not to think about something then you will end up thinking it. The fact that they disturb you shows that your true nature is good. The best way to deal with this is just to let the thought happen and then brush it aside. Once they don't cause you distress, then their power diminishes and they will lessen.

Please take care.

[joannap]

i used to be like this as a child - it is only a form of anxiety. it may not be that you have classic ocd because when my anxiety has been high - my obsessive thoughts have returned but then have diminished when my anxiety has calmed so they have been as a result of anxiety and not the cause if that makes sense.

i remember being too frightened to go into a church incase i wished for something bad to happen - because thoughts like this do not scare me now i can laugh at them but i totally understand how horrible they are when you are going through it.

the worst thing you can do is to keep re saying your prayers because you will get into a continual loop of thinking something bad/re starting them and this fuels the anxiety. just say - "God - my anxiety is high at the moment so please excuse me if i think something bad!". i am very spiritual and used to have all sorts of horrible thoughts about religious figures but again - if they return - i can smile at them now because they are not "me" - they are by products of my anxiety x

[Maj]

You are definitely not going mad!! You are suffering from intrusive thoughts which are not madness!! They are a common, though frightening, symptom of anxiety and they really are completely harmless. Yes, they are very frightening, but can do you no real harm. Everyone has different unique thoughts/obsessions, yours is obviously religion and churches. Don't be afraid of your thoughts. Let them come and show you their worst and if you accept them then you are on the road to recovery. Don't let them matter because it's the not mattering that stops them from coming. They depend on your dislike of them. Try and repeat a simple mantra to yourself when they happen, something that calms you. Don't be afraid :hugs::hugs: