I'm Back

[NervousNellie]

Hi everybody! I haven't been on here in a while because I had my baby in June and my anxiety was doing pretty good, but now I've hit a horrible situation in my life and I'm a mess! I'm under a lot of stress right now, which I know will pass, but of course it's making me focus on my health.

My biggest fear is having heart problems/blood pressure/cholesterol issues. I've been to a cardiologist, who said I was fine. Then I had a doctor in the ER tell me my EKG showed ischemia. It was the only one that ever came out abnormal - all of the dozens of other EKGs were fine. Come to find out, the lead was detached in one area during that reading, but the doctor said that wouldn't cause the abnormality. Needless to say, it scared the heck out of me. He said he would do one more EKG and if the reading was OK, I could go home. Well low and behold, it came out normal. So I was sent home with no need to follow up with any doctors. And here I am, 2 years later, still alive, but still worrying! I've been constantly checking my blood pressure for the past month. It starts out high (140's/upper 80's) and once the inital fear of taking my blood pressure goes away, I'm down to less than 110/70. I guess I'm so afraid of it because after I had my baby by c-section, I had extremely high blood pressure (191/153). My obstetrician thinks it was caused by hormones, but was cool, calm and collected, put me on medication and played it off as no big deal. I came off of the medication 2 weeks later when my blood pressure returned to normal. All has been fine, but I'm still obsessed and when I initially take my blood pressure, it's always high. Once I see that it's not alarmingly high, I calm down and within two minutes it's back down to normal. I really want to get over this obsession. I think if it wasn't for that crazy doctor at the ER that night and his rambling about ischemia and coronary artery disease, my anxiety wouldn't be this bad. Any advice on what has happened to me and how to get over it? Thanks!!!

[fightingmyself]

Stop taking your blood pressure. You will be stressed at the thought of initial high blood pressure, giving you initial high blood pressure.

If you want to stop obsessing over your blood pressure, the best way to do this is to stop doing it. It will be difficult at first, but unless you want another 2 years of worry it would seem the only option, as the past 2 years haven't solved the 'problem'.

[itoldyouiwasill]

What has basically happened to you is that this doctor who misdiagnosed you and mentioned various ailments to you has made you dubious about placing your wellbeing and health in the hand of others. This also happened to me and was the main trigger of my health anxiety. I have always been the type of person who just knows that when I call up my TV provider etc to do something on my account they will make a pigs ear of it and I will have to spend an age putting it right. If you want something doing right, do it yourself....know what I mean!

You really need to learn once again that your health care provider can take the worry for you and that you are not the sole guardian of your health. We cannot reasonably safeguard ourselves 100% as life just doesn't work like that and if we feel that we have to do everything ourselves all of the time we are heading for a world of hurt and frustration.

Yep, this doctor got it wrong and raised your anxiety levels but if the guy on the checkout gave you the wrong change would you feel compelled to worry about it for a year and spend 10 minutes counting your change everytime you bought something?

The bottom line is that you are on your guard 24/7 and this has a massive effect on us both mentally and physically. Remember, you are allowed to let your body just be and look after itself, it knows what it is doing and looks after itself quite nicely. At this moment in time your body is just fine but is reacting to YOU bothering it and nagging it 24/7....step back and give it the space it needs.

[NervousNellie]

Hi fightingmyself,

Well I've tried not taking my blood pressure and that's what landed me in the ER! I hadn't taken it in months and when I went to my doctor for medication for a sinus infection, my blood pressure was through the roof and I was having palpitations. That got me a one way trip to the ER by ambulance! You see, not taking my blood pressure is good in the short term, but then when I go to the doctor's next, I freak out because I think it's going to be high! The only way I got through my pregnancy was by checking my bp daily and seeing that it was OK. Then when I went to the doctor, it was normal, because I knew it was OK!! Sounds stupid, but it works for me! Everybody tells me "forget about it", "stop doing it", etc. But it makes it worse if I don't! Do I just stop doing it and not worry about what happens at the doctor's office? My GP knows about my terrible fear of blood pressure.....do you think that stopping long term, not just for a few months, would actually help? I don't normally go to the doctor (maybe once a year), only on occasion if I have a sinus infection or some other illness. I'm lost here. I feel so stupid, but like everyone else on here, I have fears too - I just need to know how to get over them. By the way, CBT hasn't done anything and medication just masks the problem. Maybe I just need to not care about it anymore?

[NervousNellie]

Itoldyouiwasill,

Thank you for the great advice! I never thought about this situation in the way that you explained it. Now everytime I go through the checkout, I'm going to giggle when I get my change! I am exactly the "if you want something done right, do it yourself" type of person! I always tell my husband that!

[PokerFace]

Hey Nellie, sorry to hear you're feeling so bad again!

I know how you feel because I'm the same with checking my pulse. I used to do it countless times a day and the first thing I'd do in the morning was listen to my heart through a stethoscope (idk why I even have one -_-)!! I don't know why because I have no idea what a normal/abnormal heart beat sounds like but I still did it because if I didn't I'd freak out. I still check my pulse but I've got it down to probably once a day.

If you're blood pressure goes really high when you panic about it before going to the doctors, you need to calm yourself before you go. I know, SO much easier said than done, my heart rate goes mental just at the thought of going to the doctors! The 1st time I went about my anxiety he clocked it at "over 130bpm"!

While I agree that you should stop, my advice to you would be NOT to stop it completly straight away if it makes you worse because you'll end up checking it and it will be high because you were stressing and you'll be back in the little vicious circle again. Maybe try to stop it gently because if we could just stop caring none of us would be here! Maybe try once every other day or maybe even once a week then you'll notice you just forget about it and don't check it at all! Also, try not to take notice of the results when you take it. Just do it then forget it! :) xx

[fightingmyself]

Nervousnellie,
The nature of HA is that you want to be sure that you are ok, with you its blood pressure, with me its something else. I've never checked my own blood pressure, and its only ever been checked by a physician. Mine might be sky high at this very moment. I don't honestly know when it was last checked. You probably don't check the things that I do, as it's not your 'thing'.
Since I started with this nonsense I've thought Ive had cancer of everything, leukemia, MND, MS, and blood pressure has never even entered my head. Thats not belittling your blood pressure hang up, it just shows that whatever we hang on the HA banner is real to us, but it is still HA.
You need to stop checking. It doesn't have to be final, but could you manage to check once a week at a time when you feel at your best? Take your BP, write it down and forget it until next week. If you find that this is Ok, then check every fortnight or month. As I said I know nothing of blood pressure so even a monthly check in my case would be a huge leap. If you see something of concern then of course you get it seen to, but I'm sure you will feel better in a few months of less checking. Although you'll probably feel nervous at first about missing a check, congratulate yourself for taking control.

[cornishmaid]

i was exactly the same with the blood pressure thing,id be checking mine many times a day,and like you if it was up a little bit soons i seen it wasnt really high ,id calm down and like you in minutes it would be back to normal,if it was higher than id like, id sent it up even higher and keep checking it until i got a reading that was acceptable to me ..i was also pulse checking obsessive too,while i havnt stopped it completely i dont check my pulse as much but i still do the bp once a day (well maybe couple times more) unless im pre occupied with something else and forget about it,i have had 4 ecgs and echo and countless blood tests and all were ok(still takes a bit of believing at times ) i stopped the constant checking by my bp machine wouldnt work one day,i thought it was broken totally and it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders,so i went for about 5 days not even thinking about checking bp cos i knew i couldnt,then for some reason i decided to check the monitor and got it working again!!! but ive told myself i dont need to check all the time as i didnt when i thought the machine was broken and nothing bad happened,i have been on bp tablets (low dose) for 10 years and the only time my bp goes up is when i send it up ,and im same as you ,if i am in the doctors i know its going to be high before they even take it just cos im there ,