My daughter

[alihud]

Hi there all.I'm very worried about my daughter she has very bad health anxiety and i'm wondering how best to help her.I suffer from anxiety myself but not health anxiety,my 11 year old son suffers anxiety over school and the week before school he was off because he was making himself sick.Seems they have both inherited my anxiety symptoms and i feel so sorry for them.
My daughter stays at home all the time other than going to school.She does have friends at school but she doesnt socialise with them out of school.Last night after she went to bed she came running into my room as she had a small lump in her breast.She gets into a terible state.She started her periods 2 weeks ago and it was awful,she couldnt go to school as it was so bad and she was totally freaking.I just try and reassure her all the time and she doesnt want to go anywhere without me.Some how i have to start getting her to realise she can rely on herself.
I've had her freaking again just now about this lump,i've checked it and i'm sure its just do to with her hormones but if i suggest going to the doctors just to reassure her she freaks again.
Her Dad has stupidly mention she may have the risk of getting breast cancer as his mum and her two sisters have all had it but i've heard its more to do with my side of the family and i've told her this but he has made it worse.We are divorced by the way.
Anyway can anyone give me some ideas as i'm finding it very tiring as i have severe fibromyalgia and find the stress really hard to deal with.I just want my kids to be strong but all i can do is keep guiding them and loving them for who they are.
Ali xxx

[Vixxy]

Have you tried CBT? It might be worthwhile if you practise it as a family and use it to stop your children from flying off into anxiety.
If you've never tried it, then I suggest getting a book. I've found the CBT for dummies book is pretty good in explaining and showing you how to do it. It might actually be enjoyable for children and you can offer rewards for when they beat a challenge or when they don't skip school because of anxiety. It's up to you how you play it, but I think it could help :)
It will take some time, but I think you can get them through this.

[PokerFace]

She sounds a lot like me! When I get really wound up about my heart or something I go freak out to my mum and if she tells me I should go to the doctors I COMPLETELY freak out because I think if my mum's telling me to go there's got to be something seriously wrong, when she's only telling me to go because I get myself in such a state! I waited 16 weeks before I actually went to the doctor about my health anxiety and it was the worst 16 weeks of my life. Just maybe try to talk her round to going once, not because you think she has something seriously wrong, but about her anxiety so she can be told she's completely fine and she can work from there. Vixxys reply was a great one! It's a really good idea to try to teach her CBT with rewards, you should deffinatley give it a go.

Oh, just for some reassurance, I had a lump in my breast when I was about 16/17 but I completely ignored it cuz I didn't have health anxiety back then and it went away so I think it was probably a spot kind of thing, just remind her how rare it is for young girls to get breast cancer. xx

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi Ali hun , sorry you are having a stressful time right now . My son has also got slight anxiety and i worry about him . But i got some good advice from my cbtherapist , she told me the fact that we are there to reassure them and we know what they are going through, there is every chance that they will recover more quickly.
Maybe like me when you started having panic , there was no one you could really talk to about what you were feeling so imagination takes over and we know where that can end up dont we . Perhaps if we had a calm influence and things explained to us it may not have been so bad or not gone on and on .
Keep being there for her , keep re assuring her and do what you do best , keep loving her

Paige xxxx :hugs: