Waves of Panic and going mad!

[shaz14]

Can anyone help me with these rushes of panic I keep getting. I'm having them sometimes up to 20 times a day and it's easier during the day to push the feelings away but I really struggle at night. If I don't get a grip on one of these waves of panic right from the start then it can take over and become a full blown panic attack.

I try not to fear them but they scare me so much. It is so hard for me to accept them and let them happen because I worry I will never come out of one. Does anyone else worry that a panic attack will never end?

Also my main fear when I'm having a panic is that I'm crazy or mad and no doctor or person in this world is able to stop me from being like this.

I don't understand why my body feels tired but at the same time I've got restless legs that I can't keep still! Is this the adrenaline? Or perhaps meds as I've only felt like this since starting them. Also I'm constantly clenching my teeth together and my shoulders are hunched up all day long. I worry that I have to do this to hold myself together as If I relax just a little then the panic will creep in and catch me unawares!!!

Guess I just want some reassurance that I'm not alone or some suggestions how to change my way of thinking. I'm panicking about panicking!

[ladybird64]

Can anyone help me with these rushes of panic I keep getting. I'm having them sometimes up to 20 times a day and it's easier during the day to push the feelings away but I really struggle at night. If I don't get a grip on one of these waves of panic right from the start then it can take over and become a full blown panic attack.

Hi Shaz. :) If you "get a grip" by tensing yourself up, preparing to battle it out, it's not going to work hun. Lets just take things a wee bit slowly, all you need to do is keep an open mind.

I try not to fear them but they scare me so much. It is so hard for me to accept them and let them happen because I worry I will never come out of one. Does anyone else worry that a panic attack will never end?

Thing is, they are absolutlely terrifying but all it is is some mis-placed adrenaline hitting at the wrong time. You know that sensation you get on a roller coaster? The ball of fear in the tummy, the sweating, that whooshing feeling courseing through your body?
It's the exact same thing as happens during your panic attack. The overpowering feeling is is fear of madness and I know that all too well. A panic attack can only occur for a certain length of time becuae the body can only produce so much adrenaline before it depletes. You will ALWAYS come out of a panic attack because it's just a physical chemical going loopy, you haven't disappeared into madness.:)

Also my main fear when I'm having a panic is that I'm crazy or mad and no doctor or person in this world is able to stop me from being like this.

See above. :) You're not going mad, it is only a psychological reaction to a physical sensation..that's it. Nothing mysterious and as a good friend of mine calls them, they are "energy surges".
Trust me. Nobody has ever been lost to a surge of surplus energy.

I don't understand why my body feels tired but at the same time I've got restless legs that I can't keep still! Is this the adrenaline? Or perhaps meds as I've only felt like this since starting them. Also I'm constantly clenching my teeth together and my shoulders are hunched up all day long. I worry that I have to do this to hold myself together as If I relax just a little then the panic will creep in and catch me unawares!!!

You have answered your own question hun, it's the adrenaline. Having a PA is exhausting! Ithink you have the Claire Weekes books (I think it was you) so read them again.

I thought that if I was constantly "onguard" then I was prepared for a PA and when it came I would..what would I do?:shrug: Does being prepared make it any easier, or lessen the intensity of an attack?
Nope.

Guess I just want some reassurance that I'm not alone or some suggestions how to change my way of thinking. I'm panicking about panicking!

Look at your last line again and again and again..that's the key. It is possible to change the thinking but you have to be open minded about it.
First thing to change is being on standby for battle. :) PA's are terrifying, one of the worst sensations on earth. We fear our sanity, what others will think of us and a million other things.

Are you mad? Nope. You are scared. :hugs:Start by learning how to let go of the fear. And no, I'm not daft. Work on removing your shoulders from in your ears (a favourite place of mine to keep them!:D).
Listen to your body and listen to your mind. Your mind knows that it's the fear of panic that's keeping the cycle going so lets start small and work up.

No pressure, no time scale. Work on relaxation first (please trust me on this, I didnt believe in it either and I was a fool) then lets figure out what you want to do to start sticking up two fingers at your fear.

Whether its a trip to the shops or something in the home like just spending a night not scared, I'm positive you can achieve it.

Have faith :flowers:

[shaz14]

Thanks Ladybird for your time in answering all my worries. You have really helped me and given loads of great advice. I am trying so hard to carry on each day and I know I've got to NOT fear this but in reality I'm terrified! I woke up this morning thinking 'Oh god, here we go again with this illness all day long' :weep: I'd give anything just to have one day off.

Anyway it's my son's 1st birthday tomorrow so I'm gonna throw myself into all the preparations now and hope and pray that I have a good day with him tomorrow. Although I already know it hits me hardest once I've put him to bed and all I've got to concentrate on is me! I'm not any good at finding things to relax me, I'm either anxious or asleep! As you suggest relaxation first, tonight I'm going to have a bath and then try a yoga dvd (bought it a year ago and not looked at it yet).

[kayleigh]

hi shaz i feel exactly the same i feel like im constantly living in a bubble ..... i feel anxious from the moment iget up till i eventually fall asleep and i often worry about going to sleep incase i dont wake up..... i know the feelings pass but when they happen its horrible its like i dont feel normal if im not feeling anxiousor paniky....
your not alone xx

[ladybird64]

Thanks Ladybird for your time in answering all my worries. You have really helped me and given loads of great advice. I am trying so hard to carry on each day and I know I've got to NOT fear this but in reality I'm terrified! I woke up this morning thinking 'Oh god, here we go again with this illness all day long' :weep: I'd give anything just to have one day off.

Anyway it's my son's 1st birthday tomorrow so I'm gonna throw myself into all the preparations now and hope and pray that I have a good day with him tomorrow. Although I already know it hits me hardest once I've put him to bed and all I've got to concentrate on is me! I'm not any good at finding things to relax me, I'm either anxious or asleep! As you suggest relaxation first, tonight I'm going to have a bath and then try a yoga dvd (bought it a year ago and not looked at it yet).

I know it's awful :hugs:

But look at the positive side. You know the area where you struggle relaxation etc..you need to give it time Shaz.
Trouble with us, we (understandably) want to be better by yesterday and go rushing headlong into everything, wanting it all to drop into place.

Forget the Yoga DVD, watch it another time. Use your bath time (if you get more than 10 ins cause you have a little kiddie) just to practise your breathing and to feel quiet.
Being quiet can make you feel panicky but at the moment so will everything..try and go with it if you can.

If it's any consolation I have been out today and post-med withdrawal have been merrily twitching and feeling spaced out..in the bubble..yep it's frightening but I have been through this before and am not letting it get me worked up.

It takes practice hun..no rush though. :D

[Khafre]

I feel the same as you. Just be confident, and I mean CONFIDENT that you're really alright. Focus on your breathing for 5 minutes (10 can be daunting). Just give yourself a break and breathe. You WILL feel better. Sometimes I find it nearly impossible to just take some time for myself and focus on my breathing, especially when I'm panicking. You must do this. Remember how strong your body is and just focus on breathing SLOWLY and calming down.

[shorty1969]

Hi shaz ! I have bein going through the same thing lately due to trying to come off diazepam after nine years , im climbing the walls one minute with fear and panic , next im flat out on the couch with exhaustion , feels like the way i was years ago when all this started , but i got through that !! so im keeping positive and waiting for it to pass , the doctor put me back on propanolol , dont know if thats what is driving me round the bend :blush:... im kinda the opposite of you , it hits me worse through the day , then at night i start to chill out a bit .. keep your chin up :hugs:

[eternally optimistic]

Hi

The "rushes" are the worst thing ever, I am terrified of them happening.