funny but alarming

[bronte]

hi everyone i know this thread may put a smile on some of your faces and i hope it does but i suffer from ibs and sometimes have alot of wind anyway on making my usual toilet visit this morning not runs or anything anyway it exploded out with wind it nearly lifted me off the toilet lol and it was so loud it made the dog bark and i was sat there worried but amused that i had shot my insides out is this normal and shall i start putting the dog ear plugs in lol xx

[JaneC]

Lol, sounds entirely IBS to me, but maybe the dog might need some counselling for the trauma?

Honestly, I'm sure you don't need to worry and you have made me laugh x

[paula lynne]

Hahah Bronte, lol! That reminded me of a bus trip I took while 7 monthes pregnant, from Coventry to Wales. I had a little "wind" problem, I put headphones on to listen to my tape (a long time ago!) and because I couldnt hear myself, I forget others could too...yep....I F......all the way down to Wales!! heheh, no wonder I was getting funny looks!
Morning by the way x:blush:

[debs71]

Oh Bronte, you have made me laugh!!!!

Seriously though, I periodically get a lot of wind with my IBS too. In fact the other day, from the moment I woke to the moment my head hit the pillow it didn't stop.

If passing wind was an Olympic event I would be a gold medallist for Great Britain, lol!

Don't worry about it Bronte.....but your dear dog might need some valium, lol!!!:D

[bronte]

thanks everyone im glad ive made you laugh i keep giggling to myself and the dog has eventually come out from behind the settee lol xx

[blueangel]

Seems to happen the other way round with me - when I get a bad attack of IBS I find that everything siezes up and I can't get rid of the wind. Oh well, more Brussels sprouts I guess..... :D

[margaret jones]

Hows the dog hun ??? did he/she think it was a firework exploding :ohmy: made me smile sounds a little like my bathroom sometimes maybe a pair of ear muffs for the dog for xmas ??

[bronte]

shes fine now thanks but i dont think she will be following me to the bathroom for a while lol

[debs71]

lol!!!!! Love it.....:roflmao:

[bronte]

so glad we can all have a laugh even though health anxiety is horrible we can still have a giggle so thats got to be good xx

[Nigel]

Hi Bronte,

Thank you so much for brightening up my day :roflmao:

That reminds me of the story about this man who had a terrible problem with wind. Every morning without fail, much to his wife’s disgust, as he awoke he would let rip the most appalling farts. Each day Mabel would exclaim; “One of these days Fred, you’re gonna fart your guts out!” Fred sniggered.

One morning, after a particularly foul rendition, Mabel thought; “I’ve had enough of this. Tomorrow I’m gonna teach you lesson.”

So next morning she got up just a little earlier than usual and crept downstairs to the kitchen. In the fridge she found a pack of big fresh pork sausages, and she tip-toed quietly back to the bedroom with them. Gently she pulled back the duvet, and carefully arranged the sausages on the bed-sheet, just behind Fred’s backside. Then she rolled back the duvet and crept back downstairs for a cup of tea.

The kettle had hardly boiled when she heard Fred beginning to stir, shortly followed by that all too familiar reverberation. It was horrendous! Probably one of Fred’s worst. All was quiet for a moment... then came an almighty scream.

Mabel was in hysterics as she went back upstairs. She tried to compose herself, and pushed open the bedroom door. “You ok, dear?” she enquired.

Fred was sitting bolt upright in bed, white as a ghost. “I don’t know...” His voice was a faint quiver. It was all Mabel could do to keep a straight face. “Why? What’s happened?”

“You were right Mabel”, said Fred in dismay. “You said it would happen, and it did. I farted my guts out!”

Mabel had to bite her lip in a vain attempt to contain her laughter, as Fred continued. “...but I think it’s alright. I managed to get them all back in again!”

[bottleblond]

hi everyone i know this thread may put a smile on some of your faces and i hope it does but i suffer from ibs and sometimes have alot of wind anyway on making my usual toilet visit this morning not runs or anything anyway it exploded out with wind it nearly lifted me off the toilet lol and it was so loud it made the dog bark and i was sat there worried but amused that i had shot my insides out is this normal and shall i start putting the dog ear plugs in lol xx


Lmfao that's hilarious hun!! I (unfortunatley) pictured the whole thing in my head. :roflmao:

So funny!!

Lisa
xx