Day from hell today!!

[lammylama]

Ive had a day from hell today with my anxiety and panic for some reason.....woke up during the night in a terrible panic and eventually got back to sleep but have been up and down through out the day.....about 4pm i had a horrible sensation that i couldnt breath,the more i thought about it the more i found myself fighting for breath.....got back to the yard in my lorry and felt so so low its unreal.
Im so scared of getting so bad i cant drive my lorry anymore and will loose my job.....i havent got the courage to tell work either so am trying to fight it all day long which as we all know is really hard...am at my wits end tonight and so desperate to be beat this beast!!!!

Ive so had enough of this now!!!!! :-(

[happycamper]

Hey chuck,
Sorry you've had such a bad day...I know those feelings well myself but seem to have managed to get on top of them, I'm a nurse and my job is very important to me too and I can't afford to let it affect me at work.
Just wondered what if anything you've found that helps you?
XXX

[ljd]

hi i am sorry tohear about your bad day i hope it gets better for yousoon. Try relaxaton techniques and use what you have used in the past to help you get through i and take deep breaths and focus on something to keep you groudned tc

[lammylama]

Ive done so well for months now but i had a situation at work last week which has made my anxiety/panic spiral out of control....im normally quite good at positive thinking to bring myself out of it but anxiety and panic levels have been at their highest for a long time and have had symptoms i dont normally get.....I cant let this beat me and i wont, I have to stay positive or it will get the better of me !!
Keeping myself occupied works ok but in the winter theres not much i can do so tend to spend my evenings dwelling on my days event.
I am going for a long walk later with my partner and dog to try and clear my head a little....i hate this soo much right now!!

[happycamper]

You're more positive than I've been that's for sure...
I succumbed to meds which I'm not impressed about but has helped me a lot as well as trying to do the relaxation stuff, distraction, exercise is great of course.
Hope you give it a big kick up the bum and get back to normal quickly, keep us posted.
Clare X

[Timbo]

We all know that most of the time the panic and anxiety is an illusion but it might as well be as real as a brick wall! Are you making any assumptions that aren't as real as they seem - e.g., would you be able to open up about it at work? It's very likely some of your colleagues are dealing with stuff, even if it's not anxiety. What do you do when you wake in the night and what's the panic about?

[lammylama]

Dont really want to open up at work about it as im a truck driver and am worried they will not let me drive .......have been having loads of freaky dreams last few days which lead me to wake in a panic but have been using positive thinking to calm me down......normally only awake 1/2 hour or so then drift back to sleep for rest of night.
Ive been training myself for months now to use the positive thinking remedy and it really does work if you put your mind to it.....try it!!...it wont work over night but in time you can take control of your anxiety rather than it control you.

[x0xrachx0x]

lammylama... i no how you feel i am exactly the same with work! i havent been at my job very long either so i am scared if i talk to anyone or get signed off by my doctor i may lose my job, so i am having the worry and anxiety of that as well on top of everything else :weep: are you on any meds? x

[ljd]

Hiya lammy, keepfighting it sounds like your determined, you can do. try stay positive, but dont be afraid to ask for help if you need. if you need time off work thats what you need sometimes we all need a break can u take any annual leave if u dont want to go off sick tc

[Dizz]

Sorry to hear about your day lammy and I was going to say what everyone else had put.

Don't want to sound awful here though but do you think you should be driving your lorry if you feel that bad.

Only reason I mention it is that I started having the odd little 'odd moment' when I was in my car sometimes and I reaslised that my driving was really being affected by when it happened. It was like I was driving but needed to get home (or wherever) really quick as I was convinced I would pass out and crash. I didn't of course but my driving an concentration levels were definately effected and then becasue it was so worrying I found it happened more and more because I was 'expecting' it to.

Dont know what to suggest though as obvioulsy driving is your job whereas I just hung my leys up for a while and walked or got the bus.

You do have to put it in perpective though and ask yourself wether you think at the moment you are 'safe' to drive your lorry as I'd hate you to have a needless bump because you are so tired, anxious and low rather than just take a bit of 'time out' from driving to get yourself feeling better.

Maybe you could speak to your work or doctor and just say you are feeling a bit 'under the weather' with life at the moment (without going into too much detail about your driving panic) and maybe they will sign you off work for a bit so you can chill out and stop worrying about the work side for now.

Hope you don't take offence at any of my comments as they are meant in the nicest of ways :hugs:

Take care x x

[lajjj]

i was once told that when you suffer from anxiety you are 100 times more alert about what is going on therefore you drive alot safer...maybe try reading up on driving anxiety it really helped me because i worried alot about driving xx

[Carly Lou]

lammy xxxxxxxxxxx
so many hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
your not alone i promise xxxxx

[Dizz]

i was once told that when you suffer from anxiety you are 100 times more alert about what is going on therefore you drive alot safer...maybe try reading up on driving anxiety it really helped me because i worried alot about driving xx

Not quite sure I agree with the whole of that lajjj.

I agree that I was definately 100 times more alert about what was going on around me when I had my little 'blips' was driving... infact I was so alert and tuned into every little thing such as every car, every light, every roundabout, every person and even every white line etc etc that my mind went into overdrive (excuse the pun) but I definatly was not driving as safely as I usually would have been.

I am normally a very confident driver and I went from confident to 'iffy' to being too scared to drive anymore within 2 weeks week. No idea why... it just happened.

I seemed fixated on, and only able to focus on, what was happening around me rather than what I was doing and where/how/why I should have been doing it. Becasue I was so aware and so distracted by it all it started to really scare me and I'd get all breathless and worried as all I wanted to do was get home or to a place where I could stop as soon as possible.

In my own case I'm sure I must have been a danger to myself and other road users even though I was only on minor roads. If it had happened to me on a really busy road or motorway I dread to think how I would have coped or got through it.

Just dont think it's worth taking a chance driving longer distances or on really busy roads if you not sure or you are getting all panickyand breathless .... but that's just me :doh:

[lajjj]

hi dizz:) can i ask did you manage to get past this and start driving again? i did go through the same sort of thing i was pretty scared to drive for a while but i had to learn to face the fear as i live quite far away from where i work and from my daughters school. i suppose its all about how you feel at the time. i just never wanted to create a fear around anything like you said its easy to become fixated on things. xxxx

[Dizz]

Hiya lajjj

The problem I have (well it's not a problem really as I'm rather lucky) is I don't really have to use my car at if I don't want too as I work from home a lot of the time, shops are pretty local so I can walk and I don't even have to do the school run now that my sons at college.

In a way it's been good knowing that I don't have to drive so by hanging my keys up for a while I've not had to go through the panic and worry of HAVING to do it or going somewhere where I had had the suprise feeling of dread if you see what I mean.

I have been out in my car a few times but only on very short trips around where I live (one being at weekend when we run out of sweets on Halloween). I was absolutely fine but haven't gone through the main town on the busy roads yet... but like I said I haven't needed to.

Maybe if like you I had to go further then I'd like to think I could 'just do it' and I'm sure I'd probably be fine now I have chilled out a bit and realised that I was making 'it' happen... nothing else... it was ME and my THOUGHTS.... but there's still a little tiny niggle lurking there that is putting me off a little bit. :doh:

Maybe all the wet weather will spur me on ha ha :yesyes:

[happycamper]

Hey Lammy,
Just wondering how you're doing and if the positiveness is still strong and helping you?
Clare X

[rubymolloy]

I feel for you, I am having a really bed anxiety day too, out of the blue, am wandering around tha house not knowing how to feel...it's very scary, I empathise so much.
You are not alone, if that helps to know, it helps me
xxxx
bye for now
ruby
x:huh:

[lammylama]

Happycamper....i spoke too soon i think,am currently off work now after a severe PA yesterday...pure terror is how i would describe it and i was driving a lorry too when it came on...not good!!
Am now on beta blockers and have some diazepam too......i dont know what the hell happened as ive not had a PA for ages,just anxiety.
Am very low now as you can imagine!!

Thanks Ruby....it does help to know im not alone but i feel for each and every one of you who suffers this.....its an awful thing to try and deal with xxxx

[happycamper]

Hey Lammy,

Sorry it's so rubbish for you right now....keep chatting - for me that was a huge help, even if just to the computer!

It's mentally draining having something like that happen isn't it, but once the strength starts to return the positiveness can return also. Having mulled it over endless times, the return of the positiveness kick started some fight back inside me and the long process of trying to understand why the anxiety etc is happening to me - or why I'm letting it happen it would seem, then what to do about it - that's a minefield in itself too, it seems you can be back in control of your life and your anxiety more and more.

I'm probably not making much sense, just trying to rationalise how I went from where you are now to where I've got to in this recovery process so maybe you can see yourself getting here too....?

Keep us posted chuck.

Clare X

[Dizz]

Hiya Lammylama

How are you doing today ? Hope you're feeling a bit better.

Don't worry about being off work or not driving for a while IT WILL DO YOU THE WORD OF GOOD and it will get better especially as you have your tablets now too.

I've already told you how I hung up my keys for a bit after driving became a big issue for me too because of everything else that was going on .....and how I've only been out in my car a few times lately on very short 5 min journeys.

Well it worked as I had a call from my sons college today to pick him up as he wasn't well....POOR HIM (mmmm) so I jumped in my car, drove through the busy town, along a dual carriageway, picked him up, drove back through the town, (had a moan at him for coming home when he clearly was not that ill after all and he just wanted a lift and needed me to buy some fireworks)...... so we then drove in the dark seaching for some and finally got home.

IT THEN STRUCK ME that I had been out in my car and hadn't even given it a second thought and was absolutely fine driving ... just like I used to be.

You will do exactly the same... although obviously you wont be picking my son up etc etc ha ha.

Take care and you WILL be fine soon... just take the time you need and try not to worry or think about it all x x :bighug1: