Why???

[NataLie23]

I'm panicing already bout goin on an aeroplane next June I really can't c me going I can't travel far from home .it's my worst fear bein enclosed for 4hours up in the sky and bein so far from home . What do I do?

[paula lynne]

Hi Nat, its ages away..youve got loads of time to learn breathing techniques, oils, kalms, distraction, music...anything that works for you. Maybe go on a fear of flying course, they do them in most airports now...cost a few quid, but may really help you. xx

[ljd]

Hi,
you have got time to prepare for it and if you really determined and want to go you can with some help. try not to think about it so much now wait till a bit nearer the time tc

[NataLie23]

Hi Paula , thanks I am trying new things I've just finished a anxiety management course and I know to overcome my fear to face it and try my techniques I've learned. But that's were I fail I can't face my fear I don't want a panic attack I can't control them my way of controlling them is escape the situation I'm in which I know is the worse thing . Don't know what to do ?

[paula lynne]

can you have a look at a post I just did for eloelo? bit long winded, but may help x

[paula lynne]

here we go again it was called x

[ann88]

Hi Natalie,

I really feel for you, I am determined to get to the point where i can get on a plane but at the moment i can't even consider it. I suffer with panic attacks and agorophobia. Do you mind me asking, how far do you feel comfortable travelling from home at the moment, is it more like 1 mile or 100 miles? I'm just interested because I can totally relate to your fear, but obviously i understand if you dont want to answer that question. At the moment even being 5 miles from home makes me feel anxious. Anyway like everyone else is saying, you've got so much time to work on some calming techniques before June, and it may help to think that you are doing this out of choice; it's your decision and nobody is making you do this. Thinking that way may help if you are feeling 'trapped' into going.

[NataLie23]

Hi Ann nice to hear some one who got the same problem ,My partner booked it I know he's trying to help but he doe understand its like throwing someone in the deep end who can't swim . I can't travel any further then 3 miles ,ive got my safe zone lol. I wanna go for my daughter but I really can't c my self getting on that plane I keep thinking of excuses so I don't go , Im frightened to death of having a panic attack but I know I can't carry on avoiding everything,it's got worse since im trying to face it it's just an easier life to avoid begging that triggers my anxiety

[ann88]

Hi Natalie, i totally understand how you feel. You sound like me! I left another post on here a while ago called 'scared of panic attacks, partner doesnt understand'. Like you said, he is obviously trying his best to help you but he doesnt understand how much it is worrying you. Try not to think about whether you will or will not go. Every day picture yourself travelling to the airport and imagine that you are totally calm. Picture yourself getting on the plane and being totally relaxed and enjoying the experience. It's important to try and remain positive no matter how hopeless things seem. I often get very fed up thinking I'm sick of these panic attacks and I'll never be back to how I used to be, but feeling like that doesnt get me anywhere and just makes my anxiety worse. You may feel that things are getting worse since you are trying to face up to things but things are actually getting better because you are pushing yourself to do things that make you anxious. Have you tried reading any self help books, or are you on medication? What about CBT?

[NataLie23]

It does sound easy lol , yes done it all I'm trying citalopram at mo being on them for 8 wks but my doc just put me on 20 mg start them tomoz , I just wanna feel calm before I face my fear that's what I'm hoping these meds will do ne way , yes we do sound very alike we both have the same fears a motorway is A no go for me too , and I also have health anxiety .your about same age as me were so young to be dealing with this it's so unfair . My partners attitude is just do it u whimp! I think If I don't go on this holiday it will split us up tbh , I've had this since I was 16 drs said it started from exam stress

[ann88]

I know, at our age we shouldnt have any worries!! I'm sure the meds will help, once you feel calmer in general you'll be better equipped to start dealing with the panic attacks and stretching your capabilities. I've been prescribed propranolol and keep meaning to take them but I'm a bit scared!! What you said about your bf is awful, and thinking that if you don't go on this holiday it will end your relationship won't help you be calm and relaxed. I've got to get off to bed now, work in the morning :mad: but feel free to pm me if you want to keep in touch :)

[Nigel]

Hi Natalie
:welcome: to NMP!
I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time of this at the moment, but June is ages away yet. Plenty of time for baby steps. I think that would be a lot easier than thinking about one giant leap, which is probably what’s happening at the moment.

So perhaps you could write out a plan of action. One little goal to aim for, for every month between now and June. Something manageable that will take you just one step closer. What do you think? What challenge could you aim to conquer by the end of November, I wonder...

“I know to overcome my fear to face it and try my techniques I've learned. But that's were I fail I can't face my fear I don't want a panic attack I can't control them my way of controlling them is escape the situation I'm in which I know is the worse thing”

Well, that’s one way – escape the situation – but as you’ve discovered, it doesn’t seem to work :doh:

The panic response – along with so much else that a person does – comes from the subconscious part of the mind. A place where things happen automatically without us really being aware of them. That part of the mind is supremely good at making fast ‘approximate’ decisions about a situation, and that’s exactly what’s needed in the case of panic. It’s better to be safe than sorry when it comes to a situation that could pose a threat.

What’s needed next is for the conscious part of the mind to evaluate the situation and decide if it does in fact pose a threat or whether it was simply a false alarm – which most cases are.

Think about what happens when you run away from that situation...

What sort of confirmation is your conscious reasoning giving to that snap decision your subconscious mind has just made? It’s the exact opposite to what needs to happen. It’s proving that it got it right because you fled and that kept you safe. So when next facing the same – or similar – situation, it’s gonna be even more ready to respond in that same way, and you respond the same way, and that reinforces it still further.

The trick now is to ‘unlearn’ those faulty associations between perfectly innocent situations and experiencing panic. That’s where facing that fear is necessary. To teach the subconscious mind that it got it wrong and there isn’t anything to worry about after all.

Sounds good in theory, but not so easy in practice. Many people make the mistake of facing their fear, but doing it in a way that leaves them experiencing absolute terror. That’s not really gonna work because it’s still sending the same message to the subconscious – that this situation is terrifying, therefore a threat, and something best avoided.

Have you ever watched a horror movie – sat on the edge of you seat in apprehension? It’s scary, but it’s a different kind of ‘scary’. It’s different because you’re watching it on a screen – as an observer – not experiencing it for real. We’ll come back to this idea in a moment.

There’s another strange thing about how the mind works. When a person imagines something vividly enough, it cannot tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. This is something you’re already pretty good at, and I know that because you’re already panicking about an ‘imagined’ event that isn’t happening for ages yet, but the thoughts are so real that your mind thinks it’s happening tomorrow.

That’s misusing your imagination :winks:

So what would happen if you were to use your imagination in a positive constructive way instead? What would happen if you were to take that first challenge that we were talking about earlier, but imagine feeling calm and the whole situation going smoothly and well? You mentioned an anxiety management course, and I’m sure they must’ve covered lots of stuff and techniques for staying calm, so use some of those now as you’re imagining that situation going well.

Sometimes, even thinking about a scary situation is enough to trigger feelings of anxiety, or even panic, so there’s one more trick you can use. Remember the horror movie? How it wasn’t really scary because you were only watching it on a screen. Well, what would happen if you tried that with your scary situation, I wonder...

Instead of imagining it happening, close your eyes and imagine a screen in front of you. It might be your TV screen, or perhaps a cinema screen, you can choose. Now imagine watching a little movie of that scary situation as you sit back calmly in your chair and simply observe it. Some people find it helps to make it black and white to start with, and to turn the sound down.

Run the movie a few times, then turn up the colour (if it’s only black and white), and run through it again. And now with the sound.

Once you feel comfortable with that, put yourself into the scene, and watch yourself in that situation. See yourself feeling calm and acting confidently, and having a good time, but still only observing from your chair.

Finally, imagine stepping into the screen and seeing the whole movie unfold around you. Play it back with you playing the lead role.

If at any time you find yourself experiencing any anxious feelings, press pause. Use you relaxation techniques to get yourself feeling nice and calm again, then resume the movie.

Best of luck :)
Nigel

[Dahlia]

Hi Natalie

June is a long way off. At the moment you can't travel any further than 3 miles. Before June, perhaps you could work on expanding your comfort zone, little by little. Maybe set yourself fairly easy challenges, and build up from there. Perhaps you could try going on a motorway at some point, but get off at the next exit - or an A road that is a dual carriageway first of all, so you have more options to get off. Then build it up.

I remember years ago, me and my mum booked a holiday to Italy on the spur of the moment. I was absolutely terrified when what I had done sunk in. But I have to say, sometimes these really big things are easier than the little things we can't do - I actually felt ok when I went. I don't know why this is - perhaps we psych ourselves up a lot more.

The 20mg citalopram will probably ease your anxiety soon, and you may be in a very different place mentally by June. You can also get some diazepam from your GP for the flight.

As well as challenging yourself, maybe look into getting a mindfulness practice CD. This trains your body into accepting physical symptoms, and it invokes the parasympathetic branch of the brain, which is the part that calms us down. If you practised this (nearly) everyday til June, I reckon you'll be feeling much more confident!

Dahlia

[NataLie23]

Hi dahli thanks for reply , I'm started to do little things I mean I am trying I'm gonna start a health eating plan and join the gym I'm thinking if I look good il feel good right? Maybe it will boost my confidence a bit more . And I'm back to feeling like crap since I upped my meds hoping this will pass .I don't want to rely on anti anxiety I try to do relaxation but find it hard too relax . I'm praying mentally il be better soon with everyones advice on here and there stories do help it's nice to no I'm 1 of millions suffering from this .