just had worst panic attack EVER!!!

[lammylama]

Been suffering with anxiety for a while now but not had a panic attack for years......yesterday i had a good day and thought i was on the up again but boy,how wrong was i!!
Today whilst driving my lorry i felt a panic attack coming on and i couldnt do anything about it......the more i thought about it the worse i got....after a few minutes it was out of control and i have never been so terrified in my entire life.Felt like i was gonna collapse,i had severe nausea and dizziness,serious palpitations,trembling all over and i honestly thought i was gonna die!!.....so so scary.
Some how i managed to nurse my truck back to work...dont ask me how i drove coz i dont know myself. Literally got back ,got out of my cab and broke down in tears in front of one of my work mates.
My manager then took me into his office and made me do breathing exercises to try and calm me down,luckily hes suffered too with PA's so totally understands what im going thru.For some reason i couldnt calm down at all and had to phone the misses to collect me as i could not drive at all.
Spent the whole afternoon in bed trying to calm down but this attack has drained every last ounce of energy from me....i could barely walk earlier!
Managed to get to GP's and am now on diazepam and proprananol and off work!
Am feeling very very low right now as i thought i was doing so well at beating this awful condition....Now im off work again and worried about my future as a truck driver.
Why me......cant deal with this anymore!
Sorry for rant and erratic essay but have been extremly confused since the attack!!

[bottleblond]

Aww you poor thing. That must have been awful for you. :hugs:

It's absolutely terrifying when panic takes over like that. You must have felt so isolated being out on the road on your own which is maybe why you couldn't calm down any quicker.

I'm really glad that your manager understands what you are going through because some people just don't have a clue how we suffer.

Well done on going to your gp. Give yourself some time and maybe the meds will make all the difference.

Feel better soon

Lisa
xx
:hugs:

[jillyb]

How frightening it must have been for you. I have had panic attacks when driving (I'm a rep) and it's awful, especially if I am stuck in a traffic jam and can't escape. You are so lucky to have such an understanding boss (I haven't been to work this week and had to pretend I had a sickness bug). You are bound to feel low and frustrated - it takes it toll, and then you have, as my cbt man says, worry on worry (ie those other feelings of guilt, shame, why me's etc), which just fuels the anxiety I have had 2 weeks of intense anxiety and took my first diazepam today, hopefully both you and I can get some sleep tonight and recharge our frazzled batteries. Sleep well x

[lammylama]

Thanks Lisa .....Shear terror is how i would describe it,and your so right about the isolation bit......all i wanted to do was get back to the yard so i could be with people who cared about me.....some good ppl at my job!

I spent the half hour of driving constantly on the phone to my partner coz i just couldnt deal with it on my own......i would NOT let her go til i had reached the yard lol.

I feel for anyone who has no partner or friends to turn to at times like this......cant imagine how they deal with this!!

Im finally calming down now after 8 hours of hell,diaz and beata blocker have finally done their job thank god.

[paula lynne]

Glad youre feeling better now xxx

[lammylama]

Thanks for your support Jilly....your in the same boat as me then with the driving anxiety,its a very frightening experience to say the least. Do you ever get so bad that you cant physically drive??.....thats what happened to me today but i was so set on getting back that i took the risk and soldiered on despite the danger i was putting on others.

I NEVER EVER want to go thru that again and of course now i'll be panicking every time i set foot in my lorry.....i am seriously thinking of throwing the keys in at work now and getting a position in the yard instead.....not sure how much more i can cope with :-(

[bottleblond]

I really feel for you because i have felt that panic before. It's like your whole life flashes infront of your eyes it's that terrifying. You did well and you got through it so remember that. You will be absolutely exhausted because it really does take it out of you.

Keep us updated on how you are.

Lisa
xx

[lammylama]

Exhausted is an understatement ......never felt this drained before....i just hope i have a good nights sleep x

[fairyclairy]

I know exactly how you've felt... its horrendus! Feels like a huge fit taking over your body... i had a very bad one aswell today, and like you, i felt like i was getting abit better with it all.... mine happened in the office at work as i was about to go into a meeting.... i cant explain the terror that ripped through my body, and have NO IDEA how i managed to get through the meeting.... try and calm down and get a early nights sleep thats what i plan to do... im in work again tomorrow morning and im so so frightened about going.... stay strong xx

[lammylama]

Thanks for that Fairy,comforting to know im not alone....i cant do work tommorow due to nature of my job ,its far too dangerous for me to drive feeling the way i do!

Im gonna take the rest of this week off,have a nice relaxing long weekend and see how i feel then.....dont want to be off for long tho as its soooo hard to go back again!

[jillyb]

Yes lammylama! I can normally cope with my usual calls, which I do by knowing a few places where I can pull off and calm down if needs be (my escape routes!) and I always carry Origins Peace of Mind (it's just a minty smelling thing) to breathe in deeply. It's when I have to drive to conferences and things and then I usually persuade my husband to drive me there! If I'm feeling positive I do try myself, so long as it isn't going to be dark when I'm driving! My theory is that the more you drive the more you see what idiots are on the road with crap driving and so, probably subconsciously, you anticipate crashes and things - I dunno really. The other thing is that you spend a lot of time on your own in the car/cab and then the unhealthy, panicky thoughts come into your head. If you work in an office there are normally loads of people around and activities to distract you, so you don't have so much time to think. And I have decided that over-thinking is a big part of my problem! Try and be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up about it. You will get over it and find ways to cope. Take care x

[thetube82]

Sounds like a rotten time you had Lammy, glad you feel better.

One thing i notice though is that you seem to be misinterpreting quite a lot about panic attcks etc, hope you dont mind me saying that, maybe it would be worth re-reading some of the info on panic attacks etc because sometimes its our (unfounded)fear of something that keeps the fear going, if that makes sense!!

thetube82

[agnes]

Lammy, I can so relate to what you're saying (and so will most NMP members). Panic is exhausting and so you will feel drained.

Just remember that you got through it, maybe you don't know how, but you did...try not to worry yourself about your job, just use this time off to be kind to yourself

:hugs:

[lammylama]

Thanks for all the kind support ppl......had a much better day today after the diazepam and propanalol kicked in ,actually felt very relaxed this morning!!.....but the last hour or so i am getting very panicky and anxious again,am trying to calm myself down with breathing exersizes but failing miserably,am on the verge of taking another diaz but dont really want to.
I spoke to my manager today when feeling good and told him i would attempt to go back to work on monday but am now thinking this is too soon.....think im gonna need more time to be honest.

[lori1]

oh dear i so feel for you, and know exactly how you feel i suffered very severe panic attatcks for years...terrible...i remember having one once and thinking to my self 'well i can only die and then il be out of it!! I have turned my life around now and very rarely suffer a panic attack. I realised that something had to give, i couldnt keep, cancelling work and appointments and making excuses to people, i spoke to my doctor ( before this i tried, hypnosis, refleology, acupunture you name it) and he suggested i excercise. I have now been swimming and doing the gym for 4 years and it has almost got rid of my pa's. Swimming controls your breathing and so does the gym, also takes your mind off things...the best thing i did by far...its taken a long time but boy it was worth it. I couldnt go on the way i was living, i remember once having such a bad panic attack that i put my had on the gas ring just to distract myself...its awful but you will get over it!!!! hugs Lori xx:bighug1:

[lori1]

And by the way...my ex used to drive a lorry and he always had chat shows on the radio...distracts you if you are listening to someone else talk! I think Jilly is right you def can over think about it...and its all you think about every waking hour...do things to distract you!!

[lammylama]

Thanks Lori...thats great inspiration for me,everyone keeps telling me to exercise but with zero motorvation very hard to put into practice....I joined a gym a couple of years ago and must admit i felt like a new person after a couple of weeks.....maybe i'll join up again ,i'll do what it takes to get over this!!
Chat shows are a great idea too in my truck.....end of the day overcoming anxiety and Panic is all about distraction ...taking your mind away from whats bothering you.....very hard to do in a lorry,and like you say it never leaves your mind which is half the problem in a truck as you have far too much thinking time.
You must have been going thru hell to have put your hand on a gas ring ,thats really extreme but so well done for beating this beast,hopefully more ppl will get inspiration from your advice and do as you have done!

Well done and big hugs back at ya xx:hugs:

[paula lynne]

The gym sounds like agreat idea! burn off all that excess adrenaline...hope you feel better soon x:)