Andromeda
05-11-10, 00:37
it's been such a long time since i've posted here everyone!
My last panic attack was in April and since then i've been managing my health anxiety as best i can.
Sure i've had a few minor episodes here and there but generally, i've been doing so well. i've been living as normally as i can and even got myself back into full time work. (for a medical insurance company - irony at it's best!)
Today i have felt particularly anxious, it started when i woke up. It seemed to go away during the day but came back when i got home from work.
I split my anxiety into two levels.
The first is everyday anxiety, the type i get regularly. Those little moments where suddenly i feel sick with nerves, these feelings i've very much gotten used to and brush them off straight away.
The second is my 'utter terror' anxiety level, which, i haven't experienced since April. This is a sudden (and seemingly random) overwhelming fear that something is seriously wrong with my body and i'm about to drop dead!
I had just settled into bed about 15 minutes ago when suddenly i felt really dizzy (while lying down!) and the room appeared to spin. I got up to open my window and felt myself rocking?
My eyes have now gone all funny and flickery and i feel like someone has their hands around my throat, i feel like i can't swallow properly and my throats closing up so i can't breath properly.
My head feels so strange, my arms went tingly for a moment and i felt like i was about to drop down dead!
I keep thinking my vision is going blurry and i'm sat up now but feel like i'm either going to fall forward or backwards!
I drank a bit of coca-cola tonight which i normally completely avoid so i presume this may have added to my anxiety, it's also my time of the month so this has probably also increased my anxiety levels. Sorry, i'm trying to rationalise with myself.
I'm just really worried that it's something serious as i have not had this feeling in such a long time, what if i'm seriously ill? i don't want my heart to stop!
I started writing this at 12:10am, it's now been 30 minutes, if something serious was wrong, it would have surfaced by now right? and i wouldn't have been able to concentrate on writing all this? Really need some reassurance before i do something drastic like ring an ambulance.
I absolutely cannot go backwards, i have done SO well and i don't want to throw that all away over nothing.
I just have this niggling feeling it's something bad :weep: i don't want to die
My last panic attack was in April and since then i've been managing my health anxiety as best i can.
Sure i've had a few minor episodes here and there but generally, i've been doing so well. i've been living as normally as i can and even got myself back into full time work. (for a medical insurance company - irony at it's best!)
Today i have felt particularly anxious, it started when i woke up. It seemed to go away during the day but came back when i got home from work.
I split my anxiety into two levels.
The first is everyday anxiety, the type i get regularly. Those little moments where suddenly i feel sick with nerves, these feelings i've very much gotten used to and brush them off straight away.
The second is my 'utter terror' anxiety level, which, i haven't experienced since April. This is a sudden (and seemingly random) overwhelming fear that something is seriously wrong with my body and i'm about to drop dead!
I had just settled into bed about 15 minutes ago when suddenly i felt really dizzy (while lying down!) and the room appeared to spin. I got up to open my window and felt myself rocking?
My eyes have now gone all funny and flickery and i feel like someone has their hands around my throat, i feel like i can't swallow properly and my throats closing up so i can't breath properly.
My head feels so strange, my arms went tingly for a moment and i felt like i was about to drop down dead!
I keep thinking my vision is going blurry and i'm sat up now but feel like i'm either going to fall forward or backwards!
I drank a bit of coca-cola tonight which i normally completely avoid so i presume this may have added to my anxiety, it's also my time of the month so this has probably also increased my anxiety levels. Sorry, i'm trying to rationalise with myself.
I'm just really worried that it's something serious as i have not had this feeling in such a long time, what if i'm seriously ill? i don't want my heart to stop!
I started writing this at 12:10am, it's now been 30 minutes, if something serious was wrong, it would have surfaced by now right? and i wouldn't have been able to concentrate on writing all this? Really need some reassurance before i do something drastic like ring an ambulance.
I absolutely cannot go backwards, i have done SO well and i don't want to throw that all away over nothing.
I just have this niggling feeling it's something bad :weep: i don't want to die