How do you cope when waiting for tests?

[glowworm]

Hi - as I've said recently in other threads, I'm really worried about my husband. He's waiting for tests at the moment to check out his abdomen because of strange pains. It's going to be a while before he can have a colonoscopy (the doctor hasn't even booked it yet), but I won't be reassured at all till they have a look inside.

Every time he mentions his pains, I immediately start feeling that sick feeling again and I'm convinced it's cancer. As I've had similar worries about myself in the past, I know I'm very prone to health anxiety and that I'm automatically thinking the worst. I just don't know how to get out of that cycle. It's a constant shadow over me and whenever I think about anything in the future, like booking a holiday, I think "what's the point?"

Does anyone have any tips or coping mechanisms for when you're waiting for medical tests? I try and rationalise things, like by saying he's still relatively young, so what are the chances? And also by trying to think there could be other things causing it. But it's so hard! I'm generally optimistic in other areas of my life, so why is this bringing me down so much?

Thanks - it's so reassuring to come to this forum and know I'm not alone.

[baileys]

You got to remember that there are lots of other reasons why he is getting this pain other than cancer, there are so many other less serious diseases out there. He hasnt got an urgent appointment so i would think the doc isnt that concerned.
It is a horrible feeling though and i went through this with my son not so long ago.
In the end i just told myself that i will cope with whatever the outcome is. There was nothing i could do until i knew, all was good in the end.

[Ddcoo]

Hi glowworm, I am going through a similar phase myself at the moment as my partner is waiting to have an angiogram done and I was beside myself a couple of days ago as I know the procedure has some risks, and after a really bad few days worrying myself sick I decided that I had to get a grip of myself. Every time I start to think about it I make myself change my thoughts to something positive, it does take some doing but it certainly takes the worst of the feeling away. The reason you feel so bad is probably because you love your husband and feel so helpless to resolve the problem. Please try and distract your thoughts and have you tried doing a hobby that you enjoy like a jigsaw, crossword etc, just to distract yourself. I have had 3 colonoscopies due to stomach pains over the last 5 years and apart from a polyp which was removed, they did not find anything else. They will find out if anything is there and maybe there is nothing (like me). I do wish you both a happy outcome.

[Groundhog]

As the others have said your doctor would get the tests done a lot quicker if he/she thought there was a need the fact that you have to wait so long is reflective of how serious the doc thinks it is.
I consider myself very fortunate indeed to have private medical cover so the few times its been necessary to use it we get seen the same day if it’s the children and within 48 hours or sooner if it is us. Obviously I’m very glad we have it but equally I can fully understand how other people think its unjust

[glowworm]

Thanks everyone. I do try and distract myself, and if he hasn't mentioned his symptoms for a day or so I start feeling better. But when the worries come back, it's awful! I like the idea of reassuring myself that I'll cope whatever the outcome (as baileys said). What I need to stop doing is going straight to the conclusion that I'm going to lose him. I mean, even if the worst happened and he got a cancer diagnosis, why does that have to mean the end? I know I need to get a grip, but it's so difficult!

[paula lynne]

We worry about those we love dont we, hard not too x
I hope your hubby will be ok, Im sure he will. Its good hes felt well for a few days now :yesyes: I hope you find you can get through all this, despite the outcome, as baylies said. My thoughts are with you.

"Its just as easy to be positive, as it is negative" Susan Jeffers x