scared

[jennybeth]

i've just started to feel really shakey. i've been feeling it come on all night and now it seems to have reached its peak and i'm realy scared. it seems to have started because my boyfriend has just said he's going to have another drink and im really scared he's gonna be drunk and not there for me. i know that sounds really stupid but i've gone into full terror mode, sweaty hands, horrific headache, shakes and palpitations. im terrified and cant tell him how i feel...

[Going home]

Hi jennybeth, have you never told him how you feel? Are you scared that if he gets too drunk he won't be able to help you if you have a panic attack?

Anna xx

[jennybeth]

he's been so supportive of everything. he came into the doctors to help me make sense of everything of everything she said to me today and picked me out of the shower when i had a horrific panic attack yesterday. we're doing what we would normally do on a friday night yet today i just seem even more frightened! feel like im becoming very dependent on him

[Going home]

So he obviously knows that you have panic attacks, but what was it that started it all if you don't mind me asking?

Anna xx

[jennybeth]

i have absolutely no idea. i've always been a worrier and had problems with horrific ex boyfriends and my mum suffering from depression but i thought i had it all under control. i went on holiday at the beginning of september and felt poorly and had a couple there. i saw the doctor when i got back and he thought i had a stomach problem but because i was abroad i'd worked myself into a panic. i still havent felt great recently and ive been more and more anxious as to why i'm ill even though i feel ive had every blood test under the sun. was starting to pick up recently and then a guy i know collapsed and his heart stopped for 20mins in the bar i manage on monday night. it seems to have triggered everything off all over again but to extremes. i saw the doctor today and shes recommended i try some online therapy and then see a counsellor before any drugs. im just feeling totall distraught at the moment.
omg that was so much waffle but felt so good to explain! x

[Going home]

jenny, your doctor would have been worried if she thought you had a real problem with your heart ( I have health anxiety with my heart too, as do alot of members here) and she would've sent you to the hospital if she thought you needed to be there. Don't be scared, what you are saying is a familiar story on NMP so you're not alone ok? I started with my heart phobia in my 20's, and i'm still waiting for the heart attack and i'm now 57. There wasn't anything around like NMP in those days, but joining here has made me realise that my fears are just that, fears. I know how bad you feel right now, but don't be scared because you are fine, you don't have anything wrong, but the mind can produce physical symptoms even though they aren't real. The fear can make us very dependent on others but with time and understanding of health anxiety, you will realise that you can cope with this. Just keep logging in and reading about others with the same fears. A fear shared is a fear halved :)

Anna xx

[nomorepanic]

i've just started to feel really shakey. i've been feeling it come on all night and now it seems to have reached its peak and i'm realy scared. it seems to have started because my boyfriend has just said he's going to have another drink and im really scared he's gonna be drunk and not there for me. i know that sounds really stupid but i've gone into full terror mode, sweaty hands, horrific headache, shakes and palpitations. im terrified and cant tell him how i feel...

When I had my heart attack my partner (Alex) was by his own admission "peed as a fart" yet he managed to sober up really quickly and call 999 for me and stayed with me throughout the next 24 hours.

You will be amazed what people can do when they need to so I wouldn't worry about that

[jennybeth]

thanks anna. i have such a strong support network at home but feel a bit like im being over dramatic when i talk to them sometimes that it feels good to be able to talk to people with the same fears on here. normally im the one people turn to for advice and not the other way round though. i've read some very useful things on here so far and its just about taking a step at a time although i feel like ive been thrown in a tumble dryer and still trying to piece myself together. thank you for listening i've started to feel a lot calmer and also my boyfriend seems a lot more aware of how i'm feeling now (without the hysterics etc) he just asked what i was doing online. gonna try and get a good nights sleep now. xxx

[Going home]

Jenny, nicola is the owner of the forum as you know but what you may not know is that she did actually have a heart attack...last year was it nic? but its very rare in people as young as she is, so don't let that make you worry more about your heart. I'm sure you are fine. Try to sleep well and keep posting.

Anna xx

[jennybeth]

thanks guys. gonna see how i feel in the morning.always feel a little better then. good night xxx

[nomorepanic]

Sorry I was not trying to scare you about heart attacks (it was sep 2008) I was reassuring you that partners can step up to the mark when they need to lol

[Going home]

Nic, with all that you've been through you are my hero...but the newbies don't know you...yet! :noangel:

Anna xx

[nomorepanic]

The OP said:


i've just started to feel really shakey. i've been feeling it come on all night and now it seems to have reached its peak and i'm realy scared. it seems to have started because my boyfriend has just said he's going to have another drink and im really scared he's gonna be drunk and not there for me.

So my reply was that my partner had been drinking the night I had the heart attack and yet he coped. My point was that partners can drink and still deal with us.

What was wrong with that advice?

Was it cos I mentioned the heart attack?

[Going home]

No sorry, no offense intended nic. I think we both understood what you meant, it was just my idea of making light of it is all..:blush:

Anna xx

[nomorepanic]

Ok Anna a misunderstanding no worries

[jennybeth]

its ok guys. i understood what u meant. one things for sure is its not my heeart. ive known that for years. just woke up in an utter panic though. convinced someone was breaking in as i heard a loud bang and then had a panic attack which made me think someone was in the house and that i was going crazy. they seem to be getting worse the tireder i am but i just can't sleep...again terrified!