TDK
06-11-10, 01:00
Hey guys/girls.
My name is Tom, I'm 23 years old and live in South Wales, UK.
For the last few years, I feel I've changed significantly, before I was quite confident and reasonably social.
Now, I am borderline recluse, I lost my job in a newsagents in July and since then have either been at home or my mums or the local shops.
I am scared of busy places and can freak out in town centres ie: dizziness, feel awkward and feel everyone is looking at me. Next thing I know, I'm clutching my car keys and walking back to the car. I never use public transport, as I have to have an immediate escape route. What is wrong with me??
I'm quite unattractive and I get stared at sometimes, another reason for not going anywhere these days.
I've been accepted for a job in a factory and I start on Monday. My dad is in the finance department and got me a interview.
I never liked the factory to begin with, it's a huge place, very plain and my biggest fear - a lot of people - 247 of them actually.
I never told my dad that I was having doubts about the job, I just put on an happy face.
Now I'm starting there and I am terrified, new job, new people, no escape route (unless I run out)
I get terrible stomach cramps, that pit feeling in my stomach every time I think of the place.
My main fears are people judging me and bullying. I know my dad works there but I can't cry to him can I?
It's so bad I thought 'what If I just drive away and never come back' or stupidly 'what if I just kill myself'?
What if on my first day people laugh at me or have that look of disgust? Do I quit and disappoint my dad? Or do I ignore them and do my job? Or do I get aggressive with them and verbally abuse them?
I find life so tough these days, I sometimes want it to end, but would be too afraid to go down that route.
Anyway, is anyone in a similar situation? What the hell do I do?
Thank you,
Tom.
My name is Tom, I'm 23 years old and live in South Wales, UK.
For the last few years, I feel I've changed significantly, before I was quite confident and reasonably social.
Now, I am borderline recluse, I lost my job in a newsagents in July and since then have either been at home or my mums or the local shops.
I am scared of busy places and can freak out in town centres ie: dizziness, feel awkward and feel everyone is looking at me. Next thing I know, I'm clutching my car keys and walking back to the car. I never use public transport, as I have to have an immediate escape route. What is wrong with me??
I'm quite unattractive and I get stared at sometimes, another reason for not going anywhere these days.
I've been accepted for a job in a factory and I start on Monday. My dad is in the finance department and got me a interview.
I never liked the factory to begin with, it's a huge place, very plain and my biggest fear - a lot of people - 247 of them actually.
I never told my dad that I was having doubts about the job, I just put on an happy face.
Now I'm starting there and I am terrified, new job, new people, no escape route (unless I run out)
I get terrible stomach cramps, that pit feeling in my stomach every time I think of the place.
My main fears are people judging me and bullying. I know my dad works there but I can't cry to him can I?
It's so bad I thought 'what If I just drive away and never come back' or stupidly 'what if I just kill myself'?
What if on my first day people laugh at me or have that look of disgust? Do I quit and disappoint my dad? Or do I ignore them and do my job? Or do I get aggressive with them and verbally abuse them?
I find life so tough these days, I sometimes want it to end, but would be too afraid to go down that route.
Anyway, is anyone in a similar situation? What the hell do I do?
Thank you,
Tom.