phil06
06-11-10, 14:26
I have been really struggling with anxiety lately and feel it's reached a stage where I need some more help with it. I say when it starts to interfere with your daily life and runs you down it needs treating as it's worse than just the odd bit of anxiety.
I've had three sleepless nights 2 of which I was too anxious to get to sleep until about 4am. Last night I woke up again with extreme depersonalization and I felt out this world but eventually got back to sleep.
I'm having about three/four panic attacks per day at the moment and it takes me between 30 mins and 1 hour to fully calm down from hyperventilating and dizzy/off balance spells. I feel my anxiety is worse anytime I sit a driving test got another in a few weeks what i found was already suffering an anxiety disorder my nerves have just been on pins and needles almost. I don't know why but anytime near a test I get these full night's where I can's sleep for panic. Not thinking about driving but on the back of my mind maybe? I now feel very run down not helped by a lack of sleep and symptoms. All week I worried about maybe it's worse than anxiety but the nature of my symptoms is extreme anxiety and it's hard to cope.
Just to about last night I was very close to not going out again..I missed the bus, left the house for the next one in a panic attack, bus was late so I came home..felt safe and was not going to go so instead got a taxi to a friends house. Now this is a weakness if I am getting lifts here and there I can cope better than buses, and anxiety around the town ect.. but anyway I went 2 hours later got another panic it passed a bit..but my bowel movements are bad that no matter where I go right now I'm in the toilet...sore stomach, cramps, pains, lots of wind to find I only need a little and it's all mucus coming out? It's no good that. So on the nature of the night I went home rather than stay over but I feel it's best as I am in a mess right now..also when I was out the panic turned to fear of going crazy..so I was unable to relax even with a drink. Positive from all this? Last few weeks I have pushed myself to events..all be it late at times due to my personal reasons above..
But how should the event have gone? Went out early, got a bus, felt relaxed, enjoyed the night, stayed a little later maybe..no anxiety that stops me enjoying myself maybe. I could post lots of experiences like above..I had a date a few weeks back..few toilet trips..felt so constipated kind of spoiled the date for me as I felt so incomplete and had these IBS symptoms again. And on night clubs I've been in the toilet panicking, and having toilet issues again..same at work..rarely get a good day of little anxiety right now.
But how I feel daily..spaced, weird, headaches, depersonalized constant..24 hours per day usually, breathing weird/shallow breathing, panics, the toilet issues above, run down, chronic fatigue.
Now I'm just not sure what I'm going to do next. Healthy eating is hard I can only have it in small doses as I'm a fussy eater, exercise..I just go walks but when it rains..no good. Don't fancy joining any classes either, been to the doctors lots a few months back and got bored as it was anxiety anxiety and I eventually had to accept that. Private CBT costs money, relaxation works sometimes but not always, distraction works least for me right now as I'm too aware of my inner feelings, unreal..ect... so I'm now looking at a counselling group I think it's free..I'll have to try something..anybody reassuring me it's anxiety doesn't help because as soon as I get a twitch, google I have this this and this wrong with me..and the phantom symptoms come. Right now I feel it will never go away..perhaps because over the months I've just let it get worse and worse? I'm on propranolol right now but been told a higher dose may help as I'm only on 20mg per day.
When I suffered OCD bad I had less panic..for a year and a half I was off all medication, and going out quite relaxed..my anxiety levels were still crappy but not quite desperate. I feel so uncomfortable and so unrelaxed, nervy, sick, ill..panicy all day. I hate feeling this way and have to take action..but there's no clear cut answer when it's got this low..I'm considering packing in driving again as the feeling of that "test", the worry pre before it and after is awful..I dwell badly on it but I can drive well and would like to try and pass.
I'm not sure where to go from here. :unsure:
I've had three sleepless nights 2 of which I was too anxious to get to sleep until about 4am. Last night I woke up again with extreme depersonalization and I felt out this world but eventually got back to sleep.
I'm having about three/four panic attacks per day at the moment and it takes me between 30 mins and 1 hour to fully calm down from hyperventilating and dizzy/off balance spells. I feel my anxiety is worse anytime I sit a driving test got another in a few weeks what i found was already suffering an anxiety disorder my nerves have just been on pins and needles almost. I don't know why but anytime near a test I get these full night's where I can's sleep for panic. Not thinking about driving but on the back of my mind maybe? I now feel very run down not helped by a lack of sleep and symptoms. All week I worried about maybe it's worse than anxiety but the nature of my symptoms is extreme anxiety and it's hard to cope.
Just to about last night I was very close to not going out again..I missed the bus, left the house for the next one in a panic attack, bus was late so I came home..felt safe and was not going to go so instead got a taxi to a friends house. Now this is a weakness if I am getting lifts here and there I can cope better than buses, and anxiety around the town ect.. but anyway I went 2 hours later got another panic it passed a bit..but my bowel movements are bad that no matter where I go right now I'm in the toilet...sore stomach, cramps, pains, lots of wind to find I only need a little and it's all mucus coming out? It's no good that. So on the nature of the night I went home rather than stay over but I feel it's best as I am in a mess right now..also when I was out the panic turned to fear of going crazy..so I was unable to relax even with a drink. Positive from all this? Last few weeks I have pushed myself to events..all be it late at times due to my personal reasons above..
But how should the event have gone? Went out early, got a bus, felt relaxed, enjoyed the night, stayed a little later maybe..no anxiety that stops me enjoying myself maybe. I could post lots of experiences like above..I had a date a few weeks back..few toilet trips..felt so constipated kind of spoiled the date for me as I felt so incomplete and had these IBS symptoms again. And on night clubs I've been in the toilet panicking, and having toilet issues again..same at work..rarely get a good day of little anxiety right now.
But how I feel daily..spaced, weird, headaches, depersonalized constant..24 hours per day usually, breathing weird/shallow breathing, panics, the toilet issues above, run down, chronic fatigue.
Now I'm just not sure what I'm going to do next. Healthy eating is hard I can only have it in small doses as I'm a fussy eater, exercise..I just go walks but when it rains..no good. Don't fancy joining any classes either, been to the doctors lots a few months back and got bored as it was anxiety anxiety and I eventually had to accept that. Private CBT costs money, relaxation works sometimes but not always, distraction works least for me right now as I'm too aware of my inner feelings, unreal..ect... so I'm now looking at a counselling group I think it's free..I'll have to try something..anybody reassuring me it's anxiety doesn't help because as soon as I get a twitch, google I have this this and this wrong with me..and the phantom symptoms come. Right now I feel it will never go away..perhaps because over the months I've just let it get worse and worse? I'm on propranolol right now but been told a higher dose may help as I'm only on 20mg per day.
When I suffered OCD bad I had less panic..for a year and a half I was off all medication, and going out quite relaxed..my anxiety levels were still crappy but not quite desperate. I feel so uncomfortable and so unrelaxed, nervy, sick, ill..panicy all day. I hate feeling this way and have to take action..but there's no clear cut answer when it's got this low..I'm considering packing in driving again as the feeling of that "test", the worry pre before it and after is awful..I dwell badly on it but I can drive well and would like to try and pass.
I'm not sure where to go from here. :unsure: